If that was a joint instead of a cigarette, that photo wouldn’t need a caption at all.
Time hasn’t been good to Joan Rivers…
Monkey butt.
or “When butts fly out of my monkey.”
The years have been tough on ol’ Tom Waits …
“Ah remembair zee summer of '73 like eet was yesterday. Ah was but a boy, a boy who thout 'e was a man. Ah saw 'er for the first time in a cafe near le Rue de L’Arblete. She was beautiful. A woman like her I had nevair seen before. Eet was love. Passionait love. Mad love. For three months, we were togethair. Ah thought, 'Rene, 'ere you ‘ave found the true…’ How do you say? Soul mate, non? She was my soul mate, and when she left me, she took weez 'er my soul. I was broken. Destroyed. But, life goes on, no? That eez what they say, at least. Me? Ah am not so sure.”
“Since zen, I am but a shell of a minkee. Between zee elderberry and zee Sartre, and zee memories of Rene…oh, Rene! Now what do I do? I dance for ziss organ grinder…ziss fascist bully-boy. He’z not even French, whey? He iz English! What iz a minkee to do?”
Liebe mein abst-meinke.
That nagging voice in the back of Courtney Love’s head was saying she should lay off the hormones . . . nahhhhhh, what’s the worst that could happen?
“Hey, Cheetah. Where ya headed?”
“Nowhere in particular.”
“Man, I wish I was you.”
They want me to smoke it Bangkok style, but my fur keeps catching fire.
Buddy Lee? Man, I thought we were talking about Buddy Guy!
“Hey, man, it’s like this; Guisseppe is grindin’ away at his organ and I’m, like, y’know, goin’ aroun’ with the tin cup gettin’ spare change from the peeps, when the chimp-an-zee with the big-sto-gee tosses me a knot o’ twenties the size of my momma’s big swollen heinie an’ sez: “Yo…yer chain’s only as strong as you believe it is…” or some deep shit, and I sez “FUCK THIS” and take that cup-o-money and bail.”
“Thats my story an’ I’m stickin to it.”
In her next life Bette Davis discovered that karma really is a bitch.
Hypnosis, gum, the patch, nothing has helped me quit these damn things; I got a human on my back. :dubious:
I got nothin’.