This guy who I hooked up with once who totally creeped me out, and who I hooked up with again like a year later because I was weak and out of my mind, just followed me home.
For like, a minute, six years ago, I thought I might be interested in this guy. After about two dates I realized that he was far too creepy for me to deal with. Like three years ago, in a moment of utter desperation, I happened to encounter him online and we hooked up. He has been out of my thoughts ever since (except for when I went to a play and he was one of the cast). Then tonight I run into him at the bar and am totally noncommittal, only to have him follow me home and come on to me in my parking lot.
Eeeek, that’s a bit scary, Otto. Actually, that’s a lot scary.
Did you let him know in no uncertain terms that you weren’t interested? Being ‘totally noncommittal’ won’t get the message through to weirdos like this.
Agreed, very scary.
But for some reason my mind is picturing it as a bizarre *Kids in the Hall * skit.
You’re Dave Foley and “Creepy Stalker” is Kevin McDonald. He’s going on and on about some weird hobby while standing uncomfortably close to you in your driveway.
Sorry if you don’t enjoy being portrayed by Dave Foley in my fictional universe.
Skeevy, definitely. But is he a stalker, or just a creepy desperate guy? The answer lies in whether he keeps up his behavior or whether that follow-you-home thing was a one-time deal.
Yeah, if you’re totally weirded out by this guy then don’t worry about burning bridges. Just tell him you’re totally not interested in anything, don’t be cruel but don’t beat around the bush either.
Creepy McGee* could go dangerous or just go sad, but either way if he has to go, he has to go.
*There you go, you said you couldn’t remember his name, hope this one works for you.
Totally agree. That said, were you really creeped out by him last time you hooked up? If possible don’t talk to him again at all unless forced to do so. And if you have to talk to him again, tell him in no uncertain terms no way.
Another thing: don’t even try to be nice to him. At all. When you tell him to piss off, make it very blunt, mean if possible. Better that he thinks you’re a bitch than anything else. I made the mistake once of trying to let someone down gently and realized that to stalker boy it was a come-on, even though I was very explicitly not interested. In his head, it turned into some weird fantasy about my noble character (yeah, right) keeping us apart.
I met him online about six or seven years ago. We got together a couple of times and the first time was all right. The second time I learned that he had an unhealthy obsession with the film Evil Under the Sun. I like the film too, but he was obsessed. He insisted on playing the soundtrack during sex which, I like Cole Porter as much as the next guy but it’s not really my first choice. Plus, every time we kissed he rolled his eyes waaaay back in his head which totally creeped me out. So I “lost” his phone number and became non-responsive in chat, which was his cue to start IM-bombing me with nasty messages until I had to put him on ignore. I would run into him at the bar every once in a while and he would always make some snide little remark while I pretended he was invisible.
Flash-forward a couple of years. I get a job at an insurance company and am horrified to discover that not only does he work for the same company, but in the same department. Fortunately our schedules were different enough that we didn’t share breaks or lunches and our desks were well out of sight of each other. If we happened to pass I would say hi if he did but otherwise ignored him. Then he started sending IMs through the work computer. Luckily I got fired from that job before it escalated.
Fast-forward another couple of years. My illegal immigrant boyfriend has just vanished off the face of the Earth. I’m online, drunk, sloppy and miserable. Creepy McGee shows up in chat and apologizes for all of his past misdeeds. We get to talking and we end up eating breakfast at a waffle house. I’m still drunk so we end up back at my place and start making out, his eyes start rolling back in his head again and I suddenly remember all the reasons I stopped seeing him in the first place and somewhere in there I pass out. When I come to later that day he’s gone.
I see or hear nothing of him for another year or so until I go to this play for my birthday last year or the year before. He’s in the cast, playing a character who is supposedly irresistible to men and a terrific lover. Having been there, I am unable to suspend my disbelief. After the show the friend I’m with and I manage to get away without running into him, and that was the last of him until last night’s stalk.
Totally off topic, but I had a dream last night that I was having dinner with Otto and jayjay, and Otto kept making fun of me because I’d never seen the movie Risky People. Which was a little unfair of him, because I’m looking at the IMDB now, and there’s apparently no such movie.
