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Had my first real threesome this weekend. I know that’s mundane and pointless, not to mention hopelessly tame for a great many of you, but I had to share, so there it is.
It was outstanding from start to finish. My girlfriend and I set out to seduce another girl*, accomplished said mission, and everyone ended the weekend with big smiles on their faces.
Is there a card or badge or something members of the club get?
*This was the first time in my life I ever made a wine selection with an eye toward total alcohol content.
my one and only time was a gongshow. girlfriend invited her friend on a whim, so there was no talk of wants, likes, boundaries, etc. - to make matters worse, we were all like 18. it was a fumbling mess of arms and legs.
I know, right? And I just kept reading, waiting for the TMI part - blood? Bodily fluids flying through the air and landing in inappropriate places? Some sort of horrific injury? A RUNNY NOSE at least, for crying out loud?
Our first playtime with others was, while not an unmitigated failure, was on the fail side of unsatisfactory. I’m happy to say that we bided our time, kept our options open, communicated about our feelings on the whole thing, and were ready and able when the time came to try again.
I certainly don’t mean to convey that we intoxicated the poor girl. Only that, when looking over our various wine selections, I did actually bother to ask myself “which of these is likely to get us all loosened up the quickest?”
Win.
Honestly, I’ve just gotten tired of being bitched at by people for what I say here about my girlfriend and our sex life, so I’m more than content to put up with complaints from everyone this thread has disappointed. Sorry. Refunds at the door.
Thanks, and good advice. But I’ve got a great girl who has an adventurous spirit, and we’re both very much sure of the foundation of what we’ve got: me and her. Anybody* else who wants to play is welcome, but they’ve got to be clear on that ground rule.
*Actually, not “anyone.” An ex-girlfriend from high school who mentioned in several emails to me over the past few weeks that she wouldn’t mind at all having another chance to get something from me that she never got back then. But because she so totally thumbed her nose at the ground rule, she blew any chance of that she ever had. Her loss.
First was in college. My bartender friend asked me to keep an eye on the two Taiwanese ladies in the bar. Just make sure they “got home ok”. Turns out one didn’t even speak english. And they were sisters. No sister on sister play but much paying special attention to Little Mr Bus Guy.
Second time, I was about 20. Spent the night at my then-girlfriend’s house after one of my baseball games because her folks were out of town. Her room was one of those attic/dormer things she shared with her younger (yet legal) sister whom, she assured me was at a girlfriend’s. I woke up in the morning with my back to the rest of the room, spooning, doing the early morning “here let me play with your sensitive parts whilst my Tallywhacker intrudes on your backside in a most suggestive manner” when I hear a low sound coming from the room.
“Hey babe, what’s that?”
Babe rolls to look over my shoulder, rolls back and says in a loud-ish voice something to the effect of “hey the buzzing is ok, but keep it down with the noises, ok?”
Sis laughs, and replies that she wouldn’t need the buzzing object if her older sister was the sharing kind.
Girlfriend rolls over, looks me in the eye with that questioning, eyebrow raised look. Me: tilt of head. Girlfriend: Smile, pats me on the butt, gives Little Bus Guy a little handshake and announces to her sister that she’d be downstairs making coffee and starting breakfast. Got up, pulled a t-shirt on and left.
That was Friday morning, I left to go home Sunday afternoon. Again, no sis-to-sis stuff, but I felt like the big box of Cracker Jack the way I kept being passed back and forth.
While I’ve never been as fortunate, I did facilitate one recently. My friend had 2 girlfriends who didn’t know about each other. He then met another girl that he really liked and was facing the fact that he had to break up with the other two. I told him to invite both of them to a bar together, introduce them to each other, and tell them that he’s breaking up with both of them. I kind of said the next part jokingly: To distract them from the fact that he’d been cheating on both of them, he should quickly invite them to a 3-some. This way, they’d both make a quick exit after being disgusted by the idea. Apparently, the idea worked too well. They all got drunk together and had a 3-some. The girls didn’t do anything with each other, but just shared him. While I typically wouldn’t believe this from most, he’s never once lied about sexual conquests in the decade or so that I’ve known him. And he’s quite the charmer, so he’s always had luck with women in general.
A lifetime ago, I once (well, twice, I guess, on 2 consecutive nights) did the other kind of threesome… Me, my college roommate and his girlfriend. It was a hell of a lot of fun, and actually not as weird as you might think.
