Ohio death row inmate sings "Too Fat Polka"

Attorneys for Richard Cooey say that his excessive weight will cause trouble finding his veins and that, coupled with a prescription drug he takes could make his execution “excruciating”. Cry me a fucking river.

His date with Miss Gurney is scheduled for 14 October, so put his ass on a calorie restricted diet, wean him off the Topamax, and put in a shunt. If he doesn’t like that, ship his ass to one of the states that still use a firing squad. Or use a double wide electric chair turned up to ‘self-cleaning’ from ‘broil’.

I’m really sick and tired of bullshit appeals launched by these bastards who want me to get all in a lather over their feelings at the very end. The two young women he raped and murdered didn’t draw their last breath amidst peals of gleeful laughter.

I should send him a copy of a cartoon that shows a guy wired up in the electric chair, and the guard by the door says, “Hey-it’s something from the Governor!” The guy in the chair looks up hopefully, as another guard carries in a spray of flowers with a ribbon reading, “Bye-bye, asshole”. You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. For all of you DP opponents, save your bandwidth. Fuck him.

I can certainly understand his motive.

Not sympathize, mind you.

When I first heard of this story I was expecting a completely huge guy. Not 267 pounds; that’s just regular American-sized.

He’s still going to die. This little Million Dollar Shot didn’t save him. Therefore, I feel nothing.

Don’t you get it yet? When the worthless bastard gets what he wants, that’s when you get outraged. Absent success, all this amounts to is a desperate human being acting exactly like you’d expect him to. You’re going to start a pit thread every time someone says something ridiculous? (And if so, why the hell haven’t you done ME yet? :smiley: )

And telling DP opponents to back off? Are you trying to get your own thread hijacked 15 ways from Tuesday?

I live here. I was here when this guy and his buddy threw rocks off a highway overpass, disabling the victims’ car, and then went down there to “help,” gaining their confidence. The other punk got a life sentence because he was 17.

Their names were Dawn McCreery and Wendy Offredo. And it could have been me.

Surprisingly, he still has a heart. Can’t they give him some inhalent anesthetic and then do a cardiac stick with the euthanasia drugs?

I did a quick search for information on him, and found that he was severed abused by his father as a child. So the solution for childhood abuse leading to a stupid rape and murder at the age of 19 is 22 years in prison followed by a botched death? Well, I say fuck that in return.

Can someone please make a graph so that I know at exactly what age I am responsible for my own actions given the amount of childhood abuse received (X) vs the severity of my crime (Y)?

Should look like a parabola.

That’s not really the issue, though, is it? I don’t imagine anyone is suggesting that this man should be allowed to roam free, or that he isn’t responsible for his actions. It’s just that we have a range of possible sentences for crimes, as a general rule, and there’s a reason for that.

While you’re at it, we need to figure out the relative worth of a crime. Apparently, rape and murder falls in the “stupid” category.

Cooey. Isn’t that the name of the guy who killed that little Florida girl and stashed her body on his property or something? Is “Cooey” the new “Wayne?”

So, you’re telling me not to reply at all? Sorry, Jack.

If you don’t want to hear a contrary opinion, is there any point at all to your OP?

ETA: I realize there’s a long history of pointless venting threads in the Pit. I guess this is one of those.

I’m with Pullet. Unless it shows he didn’t do it, I don’t care what his sob story is.

So, because he didn’t hit the state-provided weight machine enough in the last 22 years, we should give him a lesser sentence?

That might be too complicated to add to my parabola graph.

Youthful indiscretion. Hell, when I was 19 I did a lot of stupid things. Tried to buy beer, drove too fast, had sex without a condom. Heh, there was even one time I raped, tortured, and strangled these two girls I was pretending to help, and carved an “X” into their stomachs. Now I’m like, what was I thinking?

I remain—albeit somewhat waveringly—philosophically opposed to the death penalty, but reading cases like Cooey’s make it momentarily difficult to remember why.

Too Fat Polka (She’s too fat for me)
This isn’t the Arthur Godfrey version, but still pretty good.

Um, it was more to do with the “childhood abuse” stuff.

My point was that there are alternatives in between “let him go free” and “Evil! Evil! Kill!”

Hence, the graph. :cool:

I think we could be talking at cross-purposes here. Or am I just missing the point? It’s happened before. :slight_smile:

If his obesity and poor veins stood in the way of cannulizing a vessel as required for a life saving procedure, a cut-down would be done. May I suggest the same effort be expended to end his life?