No, it’s awe.
Without the tells? Maybe they just want to tuck you in.
You do know I was being a smart ass making that stuff up right? 
Of course I can’t tell for sure who the whoa was aimed at.
I think its called telleranium. It has an atomic number of 69 times the square root of negative one.
Why? Can’t you read my…tells?
I’m assuming you are taking the piss, but although I never pulled off no Oceans Eleven type capers, you’d be surprised at some of the shit you have to do to get in some places.
I think that you’re missing a couple of key words there. After “most determined” you should have “or most mentally messed up”. While you might have gone about your peaceful burglary while stone cold sober, I know that many burglars have a little something to calm them down or rev them up, depending on what they’ve got available and their personal preference of drugs. I also think, but don’t know for sure, that perhaps many burglars might not burgle if they’re stone cold sober.
And I have probably not just woken up…I’m a true night owl. I’m just waking up now, when my local time is almost 10 PM. I almost never sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time.
For all of my talking, I do most sincerely hope that I never again have to face someone and make a split second decision as to whether I’m going to try to harm him*. I don’t WANT to hurt or kill someone who’s stealing from me. However, I feel it’s necessary to think about these things ahead of time, because if the moment does arrive, there’s no time to think.
My dad, in one of our self-defense discussions, told me that he’d far rather pay for a lawyer than pay for a funeral. He’s a very peaceful guy, and not physical at all, but he’d rather have a live daughter who is in trouble with the law than a dead daughter who was a perfect lady and didn’t defend herself.
*Twice, I’ve had guys attempt to rape me. Because I was quite a tomboy, I was able to deal out enough damage to get away and get to a safe place.
I’m sure that’s true; I wasn’t intending to target you specifically. Don’t worry about it. And don’t try to steal my stuff, because like most gun owners*, I will not only shoot any intruder but I will run up and bash their brains in if they aren’t dead already.
*Not that I own a gun. Maybe I’m bluffing, but I am hiding my…tells.
Doubt? Yes! Bullshit? Yes!
See, thats why the NICE guys are the ones not wearing bells. So they don’t wake you up when they come to check on you in your own bed in case you are already asleep.
The burgle union also requires them to carry bed bug spray. Let me tell you, that stuffs the bomb! The really nice ones even carry air freshners, though in my experience they are often a bit heavy handed in their use of it, but thats just me.
I am telling you guys they have it all worked out over there and its quite civilized
Ha! Good one!
I didn’t mean ‘determined’ to sound in any way like a virtue. I agree, they are the most fucked up criminals. But most criminals prefer to target the easy, rather than the difficult job. If they wanted to do hard work, they’d get a proper job. As for going on the job drunk or drugged up, the actual robbery was my high, and the financial side was a nice bonus. I’ll admit, the money was always a major factor, but the thrill factor was an equal attraction.
If you can think of a way to expose me, you are welcome to try. Remember though, I’m chatting on an American website and feel I should be entitled to take the 5th, if need be.
Oh
I forgot the beauty of the bell system.
See, now a bad burgular will accidently on occasion loose his bells. Now if that happens, you think he is one of the good burgulars. No harm, no foul. He is still able to safely rape, pillage and kill.
The sophistication of the system is quite telling.
Ah, but, is providing the burglars with bells, cheaper than making a cardboard box look like a reputed alarm manufactures product, is the question you need to be asking.
Do tell!
You have to have dark brown eyes. You are full of shit up to your eye-brows.
Another guy who watches too much TV.
Ah! The anonymity of the internet!
Is that you? Cleuseau?
A REAL samurai would have dressed in the time it took the burglar to reach the front door. 
Most people who know me would be shocked to hear me say anything remotely violent, but I am of the opinion that by violating one of the most basic rules of society and trespassing into my home in order to steal, you have CHOSEN to put YOURSELF in mortal peril. The homeowner has a right to assume the WORST of any scumbag breaking into a house at night with people home. The intruder has already shown themselves to have extremely poor judgment and a disregard for civil society, and you have split seconds and no xray vision to determine whether they wish harm on you and your family.
I’m not sure if I could shoot a person without a great deal of training and mental preparation; in fact, I’m pretty sure I would wet myself while fainting, but I believe that people have a right to feel safe in their own homes and those that violate that knowingly and willingly have brought upon themselves the obligation to prove that they are not going to cause harm by either getting the hell out of dodge before the homeowner has time to even reach the room that the intruder is in, or else freezing and putting their hands up in the air.
Billfish, you made my evening with the end of your dialogue. Pigs out back . . .
(reference to the Box of Truth deleted, people cited it before me. Great page.)
< sigh > Well, you are wrong with the brown eyes( blue, actually), completely off the mark regarding the tv watching, and wrong about why I’d wish to remain anonymous, so how much wronger could one person be? I can forgive it and understand a little of your skepticism because you don’t know me IRL, but to think everyone you read on the net is bullshitting, without very good cause, wont hold much water.
If I knew there was a way to guarantee my internet anonymity, I’d start an Ask the ex-criminal thread and answer questions as freely and as honestly as my devious criminal mind could manage… As it stands though, I’d only be able to refer to my convictions, of which there were many, prior to 1991. You may feel entitled to think I am a typical dumb criminal from the number of times I have been in court and in prison, but the truth is, it was an occupational hazard and I was a very busy bee.
Carry on, o disbelieving one.