Ever in one of those weird moods where maybe your working late, in a funny mood, people are relaxed and you and someone else will say tell an off color joke or make some odd sexual comment that yes, technically, was wrong but, what the hell?
For me, this one time I was in the ER and about 4 in the morning and this rather attractive female Dr. and equal attractive female nurse were trying to remove some debris from my eye. I sat there quiet and calm as they struggled (they could not get it out).
Anyways they asked why I was so calm and I said “Just picturing the 2 of you naked”. Well of course their were some gasps but I could tell they were not offended so I chimed in “what are you 2 embarrassed about? You have 2 great bodies, great shapes, not a bit of fat on you, you look awesome.” They laughed and were like “yeah right”. Well that kind of broke the ice and they act flattered so I chimed in “Nice tattoo” to the nurse. She looked at me and said “what tattoo?”. I said, “the one of the flower on your hip”. Well that floored her because she DID have a flower tattoo on her hip and she wondered how I knew (I just guessed) and we all had a good chuckle.
BTW, years ago I worked in an ER at night and I knew the staff could get a little “weird” and I could get away with something like that.
As I sometimes say I have had my foot in my mouth so many times I’ve had to be treated for Athlete’s Tongue.
I had to have an MRI done. The nurse/tech, who probably went through the same routine umpteen times a day led me back a hall and said “Now enter the room here and strip down to your underwear”. I immediately replied “OK – but you’re going to have to buy me dinner afterwards”. She froze dead for a moment and then burst out laughing. Her bet was a A lot of men had probably wanted to say something like that but I was the first one who had. About a week later I was at a bagel place near there getting lunch and when I got to the check-out the clerk told me my bill was already paid. I looked back in the line and there was the nurse/tech grinning at me.
I suspect all of us have been there, and I still occasionally make that gaffe. Nowadays I’m a bit more careful. I think my sense of propriety is normal but I’ve been given the stink eye enough times to cause reflection before a casual remark.
I was at a state fair looking at a display of little piglets in a pen. I casually said as I walked up “So which of you little piggies is going to market”, having the childrens’ toe counting rhyme in my head.
The look of horror on everyone else’s face told me I was alone in my thinking, and I quickly wanted to go wee wee wee all the way out of there as fast as possible.
Talking with my parents after a hard week (it was Spring Break of my first year in law school, and I’d spent 6 hour of every day of it in the library), and right as the conversation is about to end, my mom tells me not to hang up, because if I try to call her at work tomorrow, she won’t be there. She has pre-op before her surgery the following day.
It turns out that they’d found the same type of cancer in her as what killed my grandmother. My family kept it a secret from me (I’d gone to college and law school out of state, and interned the summer in between, so I hadn’t seen family much for 8 months.)
Them not telling me anything until two days before I was going to come home for Thanksgiving break made me madder at them than I’d ever been, because the change was so drastic.
They had a history of holding things back from me, in the misguided attempt to protect me from bad news and not upsetting me.
Anyway, I was in such shock and anger when my mom told me about the impending surgery, I started babbling about how she needed to make sure that she had the right amount of anesthesia, and that some people are under enough to where they can’t move or respond, but they still feel every incision and contact.
I was having an out-of-body experience where I just kept talking about it, knew that I needed to stop, but couldn’t.
Needless to say, I felt like crap after, and through until after her surgery.
But they laughed! So it was good! And he can humblebrag about it! And then snicker at the social justice workers who don’t like it when he sexually harasses people at their workplace! C’mon, what’s wrong with you?
Somewhat reminds me when I was photographing a friend of the family’s wedding in Indiana, and one of the groomsmen (of the all-white wedding party), while walking around with a case of beer outside the church before the wedding, spots a group of black twenty-somethings hanging out on the porch. So, of course, he has to scream out “Hey guys! Look! We got porch monkeys! Real live porch monkeys!” And heads up to the porch, gives them a handshake, and they end up laughing and sharing beers before the wedding. How in the hell that did not end up in a street brawl to this day I don’t know. But, hey, they were all laughing so it was all in good fun, right? (And, no, he did not know this group of people.)
I feel strongly that when people are taking things out of your eye you should just shut the hell up until they’re done. Then you can go about your business being an asshole if you want. Doctors are trained not to stab people with sharp things just because they deserve it.
If you’re asking if you should have said that, the answer is no. You should not being making sexual comments to professionals engaged in the performance of their job. They had to sit there and listen because they were treating you and they took an oath.
But I doubt they found you as amusing as you imagine. I’m sure you were discussed later in the shift when they were talking about the kind of difficult people they have to deal with. And I’m sure anything said about you was not flattering.
Ask yourself if you want to be the kind of person that other people don’t like to see entering a room.
Welllllll, could be they weren’t the brawling types. Could be the part of the country they were in, a brawl with a mouthy white dude wouldn’t have ended well for them. Sure, they were laughing, 'cause whatchugonnado when someone is privileging all over you?
