OK old men, whats in store for me? (Body functions)

Yeah, it kinda sucks when the barber spends as much time trimming your ears as it takes to trim your whole head.

Also, midnight bathroom trips. I always used to be able to sleep through the night. Now I almost always get up at least once with the feeling that I have a bowling ball in my bladder (the prostate is OK, btw).

I still wear the same size suit coat, though…except they take the measurement at my waistline instead of around my chest.

Getting old…it ain’t for wussies.

They say Kegel exercises help against penile dribble. Every time you pee, stop it in mid-flow and hold it for a count of 10. Supposedly it helps with sexual performance as well.

I can’t believe nobody mentioned diet. You won’t be able to eat and drink whatever you want and still maintain an attractive weight. Unless you relegate burgers, pizzas, fries and the like, as well as more than a couple of drinks to occasional pleasure status, you will buy bigger pants every year and probably end up wearing elastic waistband Dockers.

SHAKES is laying on the floor curled up in the fetal position sucking his thumb right now!

Man why did I start this thread?:confused:

It is still a good life. Just like an old car, it doesn’t matter if a fender is dented and a tail light knocked out. If you can still get there and back, nothing else matters. Of course, you have to accept the fact that you are much closer to that junkyard in the sky.

Penis dribble?

Less-hard erections?


Hairy ears?

*:: runs screaming from thread :: *


Ah, but never forget the very true adage:

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill!

I have now reached my mid 40’s and would like to add a few more items. Something I noticed I started a few years ago was drooling while I sleep. Wake up from a sound sleep and you face is laying on a wet spot on the pillow.

After crapping for 45 years, your butthole won’t close as tight either. About half an hour after a good dump its back to the bathroom to wipe again. Its really aggravating on hot days when your sweaty.

Long eyebrow hairs. Never much worried about them till recently. Had one over an inch long. I have to trim a few every week or so.

The most rewarding experience for me has been being a grandfather. Always look forward to going home after work and having Jojobean (age 2 ½) greet me at the door with a rousing “GRANDPA.” Makes growing older worth it.

…or get out of bed in the morning and stand up. When that blood rushes to your lower extremities, you involuntarily let out a groan.

Bend forward at the waist and draw your shoulders inward. Are those boobs gettin’ bigger?:wink:

But one of the benefits has been tolerance. Some of the things that used to make me bounce off the walls now just make me smile.

I’m 52 BTW. I think Nostradamus is older, but I don’t know if he still posts here. Haven’t seen him in a while.


I’m 54 now Quasi. There are several people on here older than both of us, Ageless6 for one. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

I’m 62 and pretty arthritic, in fact, I get reminded of every broken bone I’ve ever had. I’m missing a number of teeth, and My weight is up. I’m watching my diet: no more Micky D’s for me (hell, it’s mostly garbage, anyway).

On the other hand, I’m fussed over
and pampered by my kids and grandkids, my disabled placard gets me the best parking spaces, and people think that my long, white beard is a sign of wisdom. And, Old Sparky still works pretty good.

But, the great thing about it is that I no longer give a rat’s ass what anbybody thinks. Life is good.