OK Say I am a Zillionaire

I read in the British press some time ago that Prince Charles (“Chuck” to us fellow zillionaires) has a staff of 65 full-timers.

The guy likes to be fussed over and can afford it. None of my business. Still the press went wild about it and claimed the number was quite excessive.

Well I intend to be a zillionaire one day. It is never too soon to start planning on staffing requirements.

Money is no object. My professional staff (speechwriter, accountants) don’t count. How many people would I need to keep me in the style of a zillionaire?

Assume only one household staff.

Let me reply to my own OP.

1 Butler (now called a Household Manager)
2 Cooks (need two to have someone on duty most of the night)
1 Assistant cook
2 maids

2 grooms (again to have somebody on duty)
2 secretaries
3 bodyguards

2 gardeners
2 drivers
1 mechanic (for my hobby cars)

2 stablehands/assistant gardeners
1 handyman/electrican

Gee that is only 18.

I dunno, it’s all professional staff when you get down to it. Still…

Gopher/Personal Assistant.
Bodyguards… one to four.

Wouldn’t a far whack of a percentage of those 65 staff members be associated with the running of the Duchy of Cornwall?

I’d hazard that this is more an an IMHo than a GQ, but If I may take some from your list:

1 Butler? And when he’s on holdiay, what do you do?

You’re a zillionaire, so 3 bodyguards will never provide the full time protection you’ll need. 3 on at any time, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day…figuring on 9 hour shifts (1/2 hour handover periods at each end) you’ll need 3 shifts, and with time off and holidays that’s going to be 18 people.

You’ll need more than 2 cooks - you’re a zillionaire, entertain like one. Full kitchen staff, plus porters, dishwashers and so on, has to be more like 10 people

2 maids? Again, you have a zillionaires mansion, and lord knows how many house guests. Think of a small hotel in terms of staffing.

2 drivers - sure, but how about your yach captain, your helicopter pilot, and various staff.

In short, I could see Charles figure being arrived at pretty quickly.

Exactly. They’re not all employed to serve his personal needs, he does in effect run a “company”.

I would have expected the well-dressed millionaire to have at least one valet, but perhaps I’m out of touch.

You need a “Yes Man”.

Um, hello? Where’s your harem?

If you’re a zillioniare, you wouldn’t need a driver or a car for that matter. The places can come to you.

You forgot the concubines! Never forget the concubines! I forgot mine once and goodness knows where they’ve ended up!

Personal shopper?

If you want to live like a pop star, vis-a-vis “MTV’s Cribs”-style conspicuous consumption, you’ll need a sneaker pimp.

Obviously, if your tastes extend to the usual vices, you’ll need procurers for those.

You’ll need a wine steward.

If you’re concerned for your health and body image, you’ll need a personal trainer/yoga instructor/Pilates instructor/body building expert/martial arts instructor/masseuse (easily 3-4 different people).

If you have mortal enemies, you might want to employ a food taster. Supposedly, Saddam Hussein had one.

And won’t you need 24/7 security staffers (those guys monitoring your huge estate’s comprehensive closed-circuit cameras) in a surveillance center?

One more thing… if you have any “James Bond villain”-style Evil Overlord ambitions, you’ll need to browbeat all your staffers into wearing some kind of silly-looking uniform, like Orange Day-Glo jumpsuits, or space-age Nehru jackets, or something.

Ah, it’s good to be the king!

I thought the correct term for a valet was groom. That’s what I meant, someone to hold my underwear while I step into them.

A nurse in the house would be nice, but really extravagant.

I presume for big parties we would simply bring in a caterer.

(Obviously I will have trouble adjusting to being a zillionaire, still I am willing to make the lifestyle changes necessary.)

Perhaps a servant to handle my long-haired white cat. “SO Meester Bond, before I keeel you, let me tell you my secret plan…”

Masseuse (2).
Media flack.
Body double.

Off to IMHO.

moderator GQ

You’ll need a business manager (and probably at least one assistant), you’ll need a booker to handle your scheduling needs (and keep you from being innundated with invitations), a media consultant to handle those pesky tabloids.

And certainly you’ll need a crew for your private jet.

Will you be a bachelor zillionaire? :eek: [sup]This could make a big difference![/sup]

Don’t forget your team of scientists to keep you one step ahead of your enemies.

Are “Thugs” included under “Bodyguards”? I think not.


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Horse Trainer

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Don’t be a cheap-o like that Howard Huges guy and hire yourself a professional toe-nail clipper.