When I was younger and went to clubs with friends, I never got huge boners or had an orgasm in my pants. Later, when alone was a different story.
But not every time I get aroused do I HAVE TO HAVE AN ORGASM NOW! It’s not a exercise in frustration.
I know the dancers are not interested in me as a person, but good ones were acting a role, just like I’m acting a role. I get to (practically) say, “That one, the one with the fire in her eyes, bath her and bring her to me” and she comes to me.
Fuck that. Got turned on by a stripper and now you need to do something about it? Take it into your own hands. I don’t want to be the outlet for sexual arousal someone else started. That’s just my own personal opinion, of course, coming from some of my past experiences. I know that not everyone feels that way. But if my man comes home after a bachelor party all touchy-feely and wanting some, he’s out of luck.
The laws vary by state and often whether the place serves Alcohol vs. letting you bring your own but most of the time the rules are she can touch you but you can’t touch her.
Given that, the deal with lap dances is you are paying to get dry humped.
Or vice-versa; female and horny aren’t the only qualifications.
I don’t get the lapdance thing either though; about the only thing I’ve ever been able to come up with is that you’re up close and personal with this “hot” chick, rather than watching her dance on a stage some distance away. I guess that’s better, but only by a tiny amount. All the money changing hands is what totally de-hornied me at strip joints- it was easy enough to realize that most of these chicks wouldn’t have anything to do with me if I wasn’t in the club spending the money, or having it spent on me.
I don’t get it either. I’ve never had one, and it’s been well over a decade since I’ve been to a strip joint. But apparently where I’m from you can fondle, I’ve even heard tales of dudes being able to perform cunnilingus on them, not something to brag about IMO but whatever. This only happens in the shower room. But I sense that just maybe a lot of exaggeration.
Where I work a group of guys on occasion go to a nearby strip joint for lunch for the “roast beef buffet” while the ladies perform. I had to ask "your eating lunch while women are gyrating their junk around ? " yup.
No thanks. Not quite at the George Costanza level yet. Don’t want my meal sprinkled with dingleberries or whatever else is going to land in my plate.
Has to be more to it than just masturbation.
I think the bigger part of the experience is the eroticism, whether done by a pro or SO.
When sex starts getting a little too routine/too physical needs based, to have someone do a ," Look at me, feel what I can do to you, but no touchy" experience really snaps you back into your body.
Would be interesting to see the difference break down along gender/sexual orientation lines for physical encounter preferences given the choice between a lap dance or a massage.
Straight guy here. I don’t really understand it either. Same reason I wouldn’t watch porn with dudes in the room: I have no desire to get into that " arousal zone" with my guy friends (or anyone besides my wife now) around. And (speaking from the non-married me perspective) I never had any interest in paying a woman to do something to/with me because she’s now obligated to.
(bolding mine)
A+
Funniest post, by far!
Diamond Cabaret?
Speaking from experience, albeit of my much-younger self: No, a life of no female contact whatsoever is a much greater exercise in frustration. A lap dance provides relief from that, however imperfect and incomplete.
Back when I used to go to strip clubs, I’d think of them simply as women, without assuming I knew any more about them until/unless they gave me reason to. And I like women.
Yeah, seeing (up close) and feeling a naked or nearly-naked woman is a pleasurable experience. So there.
Hmmm. Not the same thing. It sure ain’t love, and it’s not even sex. There’s a difference between looking at a girl working a pole on a stage way over there and having her actually come to you and touch you (or not) as if you actually know each other in an intimate way.
I think if I were a guy I would be the weeniest guy ever but I think I would need more privacy than that. Even if we could have a private room there’d still be a bouncer type present in the room, so there’d be a man watching me and that’s a whole other thing.
Okay, this is the closest thing to an answer I’ve gotten. Thanks, Zebra.
Older straight male here - I never got this either; it doesn’t appeal to me. Seems like it would probably be a bit disgusting and disturbing, though possibly it could transition to frustrating. About the only thing I can appreciate about it is that it’s a mechanism for women to be at an advantage in controlling the situation and getting paid.
Only been to a club once in my life. (Brother’s bachelor party.) Never went before, or since. But, it was a fun night.
I knew I was not going to get laid. But it was fun to fantasize.
She was only interested in my money. I was only interested in her body. For the three minutes it lasted, it was a completely open and honest relationship. And when it was over, she didn’t have to worry about pregnancy, and I didn’t have to worry about VD or child support.
I walked into the club with a week’s pay in my pocket. I walked out without even enough coins for a payphone. Because, when a beautiful naked woman looks you in the eye and smiles, money is simply not that important.
it was thought that the Sami didn’t have a dance, but they do. it is very stimulating.
I always thought it was kind of a sad thing to engage in. I’ve had one in 66 years, and that was paid for by a woman friend on my 43rd birthday in a bar in Budapest. It didn’t do much for me other than to be embarrassed by having this happen in a public forum.
That’s poetry man. Just beautiful. {Sniff} 
And I would add, during the time in question (which typically lasts longer than the 3 minutes of the dance, because on a slow night there’s chatting involved) I didn’t have to worry about what she, or her mother, thought about my job, my friends, my house, my family, etc.
You gotta make it rain, dear.
And yet another thread where Doper’s express their confusion over ordinary activities most people take for granted.
The “deal” with strip clubs and lap dances is they are fun. You go to a club with a couple of buddies. Sit around for a few hours, drink, crack jokes and look at beautiful topless single moms.
Now it can get “sad” if that’s your only source of social interaction or you turn into one of those weird old dudes who spends all his time at the club. And some of the sketchier clubs do blur (or even erase) the line between “stripclub” and “sex brothel”.
It doesn’t appeal to me at all. I guess I can understand how it works for some men, but it’s not for me - it doesn’t seem like a situation in which I want to find myself, or a situation in which I would want to be aroused.