Okay... if you do it, you can FUCKING SPELL IT!!!(Minor rant, really.)

The BBQ Pit
1

Okay chilluns.

If you masturbate as much as y’all talk about it in the many, many masturbation threads, you can…
SPELL IT RIGHT!

Geez!

It is often spelled correctly in the title of the thread, and yet… it’s often misspelled throughout.

Through searches, there have been 70 threads that have masterbate in the body generally, though a few with the title. That is 10% of the 701 threads displaying public masturbation.

133 threads feature masterbation. That is also 10% of the 1251 threads featuring masturbation.

Now, as some of you spunk monkeys are only able to take matters into your own hands, couldn’t you at least spell it right?

The Sex Grammar Nazi has SPOKEN!

2

I find masterbation is more fun with a nice, wet tounge on my nipples.

3

Okay… I think Potter will forgive me for what I’m about to do with my trusty riding crop.

:smiley:

4

Yeah, I find it pretty annoying when people can’t spell masturbation properly. Is it that hard to spell?

5

Although I hate to be the first to point this out, the ‘e’ key is over on the left hand side of the keyboard, along with a, s, t, r, b, a, t, e. The moral of this story is that all but the first letter of masterbate are conveniently typed with the left hand, whilst masturbate requires that quick jump to the right.

This is obviously only a problem for our left handed dopers, who obviously jerk it with the right hand. (so that it feels like someone else, man.) The righties are already typing at a disadvantage and even welcome the chance to pop back over the the right hand side of the keyboard to press lovingly on the luscious ‘u’ key. It’s so round and erotic, don’tcha know?

I could be wrong, but I do believe that this very neatly explains your 10% statistics. Damn south paw monkey spankers.

Now, if only we could think about the act without actually performing it, we’d be in business.

6

If I did it everytime I thought about it, most often caused by reading about it on here, the fire in my crotch would be literal not figurative.

7

Wankur.

8

Are you just wanting some Canookie?

:wink:

9

Yeah… But that just shows you have more restraint than say… me. I can scarcely walk upright on account of the chafing.

On the plus side, if I can just hold off for a few days to heal up, I should have a nice set of callouses. Then I’ll be able to go all Tantric-y without all that stupid clearing the mind crap they always try to push on you. Good times.

10

You know, with a high quality lubrican(a 40 weight) the chafing can be reduced considerably.

11

Yeah, but then you don’t get all those cool little flaky bits when the old skin comes off. It’s like a Peel-and-Eat Shrimp fest! Er… Prawn fest! Gigantic radioactive lobsters, even.

Tenebras

(I’m going to pretend I’m not posting this. Huzzah!)

12

But, are you mastur of your domain? :smiley:

13

I just read thru this thread, I thot the whole thing was rediculous.

14

God dammit, I meant type “hole” in my last post! I made a typo in my fake typo and ended up using the right fucking word!

15

Some people got it and make it pay, some people can’t even give it away…

16

My spelling has improved immensely ever since I bought my left-handed mouse.

17

It’s hard to find the right keys when you’re blind.

18

It is with only one hand.

19

Hell, my excuse is that the hair on my palms keeps getting stuck in the keys…

20

Ah, so all good spellerz are wankers are they?