The apartment we moved into in October is about a block away from a liquor store, so it’s much more convenient to keep beer in the fridge without making an expedition for it.
Lately my wife has been making comments when I open a beer after work, about how I drink more lately. It’s true - I could never really be bothered to make a special trip just for beer, but now that it’s right there, I tend to indulge more.
I am generally pretty dismissive of her remarks.
To be clear, here: I hit the liquor store about once a week, and pick up a six-pack of a local microbrew and a couple tall cans of Bass. This is my week’s ration. I like a beer when I get home, but I never have more than one on a weeknight, and rarely more than two on the week-end.
The word “alcoholic” has been bandied about, which strikes me as ridiculous. Having a single beer after work seems far from alcoholic behaviour to me. If it were “I don’t get that drunk!” I would understand – but I’m not looking for any buzz at all out of it. I don’t have a second beer because then I’d start to feel beery, and that’s not a state I want to be in with that much frequency, even a bit. My father was an alcoholic, and I think his example has fairly immunized me against whatever allure the prospect of being a regular drunk may have held.
Still, it bothers me that it bothers her. Is it worth arguing the point that a single beer after work is within the bounds of moderation? I suppose I didn’t feel the lack of it before, but the concern seems silly to me.
Unless you have a history of substance abuse, she is overreacting. Perhaps it just seems like a lot simply because it’s a sudden increase. If, by coincidence, she’s managed to stumble upon you opening up a can a few days in a row, she could be hearing alarm bells – ‘Oh no, it seems I never see Larry without a beer in his hand these days!’ But if you show her what you bought and tell her what you’re drinking and she still has a problem… she needs to meet some real alcoholics. Or watch Intervention.
I believe one drink a day(1 12oz beer 4-5%, 4 oz wine 15% or 1.5 oz spirits 80 proof) is considered acceptable. More that 2 is considered to be a problem.
Unless every non-alcoholic drink in the world tastes like ass to you and you’re not trying to get buzzed or drunk, why not just switch to something non-alcoholic to drink after work? Wife happy, thirst quenched, no need to argue or diminish your lifestyle in any way, and so pretty much all is good. There is non-alcoholic beer, but I’ll just point out that either milk nor fruit juice is going to kill you. Really, the whole idea that adults can’t drink healthy beverages without some loss to their masculinity or whatever is silly. You can become just as much a connoisseur of milk as brandy.
I know that the habits of alcoholism can vary quite a bit in individuals, some might drink a 6 pack a day and some might drink a handle of vodka, but one beer per night or two when you’re getting really wild and crazy isn’t even in the ballpark.
I’d say she’s probably related to an alcoholic or atleast an ex-alcoholic. My uncle used to be addicted to gambling and my parents used to get furious when I’d even use the phrase “You wanna bet.” Sounds kind of similar since a beer a night is nothing at all.
I’d only be concerned if 1) you weren’t much of a drinker before, or 2) you showed signs of dependence, such as needing it to feel normal or prioritizing thing that were previously more important to you behind it.
I think it’s silly to start a beer habit for a reason that is basically because you can, but if it’s as harmless as you say it is, I’d say she’s overreacting.
For the record, I drink maybe twice a year now, but I’ve been mindfuckingly drunk several times.
I have a freind who simply stays dry one month a year, just to show he’s not addicted. Try that, don’t take even a sip for one month, see how you feel. Actually a week should do it.
Beer breath is rather unpleasant. Even one beer can, uh, linger for a few hours. Maybe she’s just annoyed that you smell like yeast and hops every night. Is beer really so delicious to you above all other choices? Maybe try switching to some other cocktail or wine to get your relaxation dose and see if the complaints lessen.
Nail on head, I think. But wouldn’t you think that repeatedly demonstrating an ability to enjoy a single, non-intoxicating serving of beer without repeating it unto insensibility with time out to make a complete ass out of myself would eventually be reassuring?
I’m quite certain that (quite apart from being a much more pleasant and refreshing beverage) a single serving of beer is a healthier choice for me than a similar quantity of milk or fruit juice.
I likes me some grapefruit juice in the morning, after a coffee. That’s appropriate. Milk is a repulsive fluid that’s handy for sauces and cream soups, but as a beverage? Eeesh.
Or have a nice healthy glass of castor oil, or maybe some spinach juice with a dash of bitters. ::rolleyes::
The o.p. isn’t seeking non-alcoholic alternatives to his libation; he’s querying to see if his level of consumption (less than a six pack and a half a week) can by itself in any way be considered an indication of alcoholism, the only reasonable answer to which is no. It has nothing to do with “some loss to their masculinity”, nor even necessarily a desire to “get buzzed or drunk”; many people enjoy beer, wine, and liquors for the complexity of taste and aroma without any attribution to manhood or tendency to abuse. (The words “non-alcoholic beer” should be struck from the English language in that arrangement, as they are as much gibberish as anything found in Carroll’s The Hunting of the Snark.)
And no, you can’t “become just as much a connoisseur of milk as brandy,” insofar as brandy is a product produced by the vintnering of wine which is then distilled and carefully aged for years, whereas milk is squirted out of a cow, pasteurized, homogenized to make a consistent product, and then rushed to refrigerated shelves in your grocery before it curdles into cheese. The comparison is an absurdity. Which is not to say that anyone who chooses not to drink is deficient in any way, and certainly abstaining from alcohol consumption is at least marginally more healthy (although partaking fruit juice or especially milk instead is a pretty questionable trade) but the amount of drink the o.p. claims to enjoy is way below the threshold of any chronic health problems.
Unless the o.p.'s wife has some particular reason to be fearful of alcohol and has previously expressed this concern (or he’s drinking 100 year old Napoleon brandy every night), she’s being unreasonable. However, it seems that just being dismissive of her remarks is an ineffective and ultimately problematic strategy, insofar as both she and you are likely to get increasing resentful over what is for all practical purposes non-issue. If it were me, I’d be asking, “What is the real root of the problem here?”
I would never imagine someone with 1-2 beers a day as being anything close to dependancy on alcohol. Generally do it because you like the taste and the alcohol in a beer can make you feel good.
ONE BEER a day makes you an alcoholic? If the theory that your wife was traumatized by someone else’s drinking in the past, then surely she would understand that your drinking habits are…well, barely even drinking habits. Anyone who has had to deal with a genuine alcoholic knows the difference between that, and the OP. I’m not sure I buy that theory. I don’t know what your wife’s problem is, but you should ask your wife to go sit in on a meeting of AA and then come back to you and tell you your drinking still bothers her.
Do you remember to offer her something? Or do you ignore her and just chill in front of the television? She might be responding to your actions as much as the beer itself.
I think that alternate suggestions are fair given it’s a rather silly question (for the OP’s wife to pose) and the answer is obviously no. Unless the OP is even more of a lightweight than I, a not very experienced drinker am, what does one beer at a time even do? Can someone who drinks on a more regular basis even get a buzz from a beer? I suppose some people genuinely like the taste, but I can’t see the point of picking it over another drink if it doesn’t effect you much.
Surely this is the crux. Your wife has noticed, and you admit to us, that you are now drinking more than you used to. She’s concerned. Perhaps overly concerned, but that’s how she feels. And perhaps not surprisingly if you dismiss her comments about your increased drinking.
Agree with your wife that you’re drinking more than you used to. Explain that one beer a day is not excessive. And every now and again don’t drink a beer when you get home from work. Have a soft drink or lime and soda instead.
That’s namby-pamby bullshit that doesn’t warrant an ounce of concession. I’d call my wife on it, and up it to two beers a night, both poured into the same large glass, and consumed regardless of my desire - simply out of spite. Actually, I’d likely have a nice conversation about it that explains that a beer an evening is something no one should ever be concerned about - even if I was a priest. Hell, two beers back to back and most full grown men are still within the legal limit to drive - unless you’re drinking bigger abv ales and barleywines. But that’s not even the issue here. You sound like a fellow who enjoys a nice craft beer in quiet moderation, and the world needs more of your kind.