Old condoms

Cleaning up my apartment, I just found a few dozen condoms, dating from who-knows-when?, and they seem pretty well sealed up to me, so I’m not sure if I shouldn’t throw them out or keep them:

they are mostly inside of boxes (Ramses 6-packs), still sealed with tape marked “tamper resistant” across the part where you’d crack them open, and inside those sealed boxes, I assume the individual condoms are further sealed within plastic.

I also found some loose condoms (all of them were inside a briefcase I haven’[t used in quite a while–not sure what I was thinking at the time), still sealed in plastic. Are the double-sealed ones any more more likely to be reliable than the loose ones? I’d feel awful stupid pitching condoms out that were perfectly good, but if I can’t date any of these, what to do? Would you pitch them:

a) never, as long as they’d been sealed
b) after 5 years, which is the least old they could be
c) after 10 years, which is probably the oldest they could be
4) now, on general principles

The spermicide has a shelf life, and the rubber can degrade with time. Given the risk/reward issues here, I’d pitch them immediately.

Or save them for next Halloween and give them out to your neighborhood trick-or-treaters.

If there is anything not worth the risk, it’s this.

General guidelines are two years, and shorter if they are exposed to heat and light.

Unless you’re posting this from a public library or something, you have enough money for a computer, so you should have enough to splurge on some new condoms.

Ramses? They don’t even make those anymore! You might want to keep them, strictly as a collector’s item, but you never want to commit the unforgivable faux pas of using outdated condoms.

Fascinating gallery of vintage condom packaging.

If I were around back then, I think I would have gone with Napoleons. I would have *avoided *De-Luxe Blue-Ribbon, which features a hideous, terrifying dog that looks like it’s from Resident Evil.

Just ask yourself: If a condom breaks, and your partner asks you how old it was, do you want to be in the position of having to answer “I don’t know”?

I once found a bunch of old condoms during spring cleaning. I carried a few in my pocket and discretely left them in odd places. Behind a friends futon, etc.

Maybe pseudotriton ruber ruber’s briefcase?

As an alternative to throwing them out, you could design your own outfits.

Yup. I’ll eat an expired salad, but there is a zero percent chance of that resulting in new humans.

Surely I’m not the only one here wishing, with this thread, that the OP’s username had a couple of extra b’s in it, am I?


Pitch them. You’re not that broke, are you?:wink:

And a nearly zero percent chance of it giving you a venereal disease.

IIRC, there was a poster around here that once mentioned that old condoms could be sold in ebay and used to cover sex toys and the like.

If you don’t want to throw them away as rubbish, you could donate them to a sex-ed class to show how to put them correctly over a wooden penis.

Yep, I’ve done that.

Did you open them, unroll them, put a tablespoon of custard in them, then smush them behind the futon? Cause that would be AWESOME!

I’ll admit having done this with mayonnaise as a prank on two guys I was working with on a field project who were sharing a cabin with two bunk beds.

I thought that said PseudoTRY IT ON RUBBER RUBBER