Ok back in the days before emailing all your jokes to your buddies, we had mimiograph or copy jokes. These were the ones that you made a bunch of copies of and put on ppls desks, and were often found pinned or taped various places around the break room.
Some examples would be “So you don’t know Jack Schitt?”, and “A dog named Sex”, and the letter from the polish mom to her son that starts out:
“Dear son: Just a few lines to let you know that Im still alive. I am writing this slowly because I know you cannot read fast. You won’t know the house when you come home - we’ve moved. I can’t send you the new address as the last Polish family who lived here took the numbers with them so that they would not have to change their address.”
…well you get the idea here.
Im looking for one that I don’t have a copy of anymore and can’t seem to find anywhere
.
It starts out something like “there were two brother named John and Jim. They were twins. When they grew up John got married and Jim bought a boat. On the same day that Johns wife died Jims boat sank…”
Its very damned funny and Ive been looking for it for a while. If any of you out there have time to poke around your old office files you may run across this. If so please please let me know, Id love to see it again.
And if any one out there needs a copy of that letter from the poor Polish mom or the infamous
“Achtung! Das Machine is Nicht Fur Gerfingerpoken Und Mittengraben. Is easy Schnappen Der Springenwerk, Blowenfusen und Poppencorken Mit Spitzensparken. Ist Nicht fur gewerkin by das dummkopfen. Das Rubbernecken Sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen Und Watch Das Blinkenlights.”
Twin brothers named John and Joe Jones lived in the same town. John was married but Joe was single. Joe was the proud owner of an old row boat. By coincidence, John’s wife died the same day Joe’s old row boat got filled with water and sank. A few days later a kind old lady met Joe on the street and mistaking him for John said, “Mr. Jones, I feel very sorry to hear of your loss, you must feel terrible”. Joe spoke up saying, “Well, I’m not a bit sorry; she smelled of old fish and even the first time I got into her she made water faster than anything I have ever seen. She had a bad hole in her bottom and a nasty crack in her front which got bigger every time I used her. Four guys from the other side of town came looking for a good time and asked if I would rent her. Well, I warned them that she wasn’t too hot but they said that they would take that chance. The result was the crazy fools all tried to get into her at once. It was too much for her and she cracked right up the middle!” Before he could finish, the old lady passed out.
I just love you! Its been YEARS since Ive seen that! Where did you find it so quickly???
Thanks 5 million times, and Im copying it out so I dont lose it again.
Somewhere at home I have a batch of hand-written jokes, transcribed by my grandfather. He claimed he could never tell a joke properly, so if he heard a good one, he’d write it down. Then, if he felt like ‘telling’ a joke, he’d just hand someone the piece of paper. Some of these notes stayed in his wallet, lunchbox or coat pocket for years.
You’re very welcome. They jokingly call me the Shell Answer man at work. (Obscure reference to old commercial campaign)
I have gotten very good with Googling and I know several good joke sites.
It also helped that I remembered the joke from around 1990.
