Out with friends last night, and someone started to tell a joke. But all they could remember was that it involved an elderly couple and sex. One of them was hard of hearing and kept saying “What?”
The “What?” rang a bell, but we’re old and can’t remember anything else about it.
I asked my husband, who is old and knows lots of jokes, and he remembered that there was a joke like that, but that’s it.
Help, please?
“Who invented the steam-powered dildo?”
“what?”
“That’s right, James Watt.”
Thanks for trying. 
And here was I thinking this was going to be a thread about John Major.
Cop pulls over a car carrying an elderly couple.
Cop: May I please see your license and registration, sir
Lady in passenger seat: WHAT’D HE SAY?
Man Driving: HE SAID HE NEEDS TO SEE MY PAPERS.
Cop: I see you folks are from Denver.
LIPS: WHAT’D HE SAY?
MD: HE SAYS WE ARE FROM DENVER.
Cop: Worst piece of ass I ever had was in Denver.
LIPS: WHAT’D HE SAY?
MD: HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU.
An elderly man goes to the doctor for his physical. His wife accompanies him.
The doctor says, “I need a urine sample, a semen sample, and a stool sample.”
The man says, “What??”
His wife says, “Give him your underwear.”
Here’s a bonus one:
Two elderly men are relaxing in the dining room while their wives are talking in the kitchen. One of the men says to the other, “We ate at the best restaurant last night. It was called…uh…” He turns his head to the kitchen and yells, “Honey, what is the name of that red flower…pretty petals…thorns on the stems?”
“A rose.”
“Yes, that’s right. Rose, what was the name of the restaurant where we ate?”
Thank you, thank you. I’m here all week.
I seem to remember (although vaguely) that joke, but since I can’t bring back particulars, I can share one that works the same basic way.
Guy in a bar with his dog. Bartender says to take the dog outside. Guy says the dog can talk and would like to prove it. Bartender concedes.
Guy: How does sandpaper feel?
Dog: rough
Guy: What’s on top of a house?
Dog: roof
Guy: Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?
Dog: Ruth
Bartender: Okay. That’s enough. Take your stupid dog somewhere else.
Dog: So who was it? DiMaggio?
A couple kept having kids, more than was considered normal, until it was discovered that the wife was hard of hearing. He would say “So, do you want to go to sleep, or what?” and she would answer “What?”
I don’t know the answer to the OP, but I’ll share a joke anyway.
An elderly man and woman are preparing for bed. The woman, feeling frisky, goes into the bathroom and takes off all her clothes. Then, using a bath towel as a cape, she bounds into the bedroom, crying out, “Super Pussy!”
The old man says, “I’ll have the soup.”
That’s it, thanks!
kevbo, heard that one just this week. Good one. They’re all good.
Can we keep this going? I’ve forgotten what the rule is about joke threads.
The rule is that Runs With Scissors gets compliments for sharing his jokes or he flounces off in a huff.
Those were hi-larious, Runs! Now tell me the one about the guy with both Alzheimers and cancer.
An older couple is visiting the Dr. The husband is quite deaf. The Dr asks what the problem is. The wife tells him “Since George retired, he has been getting slower and slower, he sleeps all day and all night, doesn’t eat, and has let his personal hygene go… I think he’s depressed…”
The Dr looks at the couple and says "Well, obviously, when he was working, he had a reason to get up, and opportunity to interact with the world. " Turning to the wife he said “You have to start making love to him 5-6 times a week, to keep him stimulated and feeling involved with something important. This is critical, if you don’t do this, he could very well die!”
The husband turns to the wife and says “What did he say?”
The wife says to the husband “The Dr said you are gonna die, George!”
Try the Chicken! I’ll be here until Tuesday!
FML
An elderly man goes to visit his wife, who is in a coma in hospital. When he arrives, the nurse says to him, “the strangest thing happened today. I gave your wife a sponge bath, and when I sponged her private parts, her vital signs showed an increase of activity on the monitor. I was wondering - this is awkward - if maybe you could try having oral sex with her, to see if this improves her condition.”
The husband is dubious, but the nurse seems genuine, and she assures him the curtains will be drawn around the bed for total privacy.
A while later, the husband flings back the curtains, and there is the elderly woman, lying dead.
“What happened???”, asks the horrified nurse.
“Dunno”, says the husband, “Maybe she choked.”
A couple in their 80’s are sitting in their rocking chairs on the front porch.
Today is their 60th Wedding Anniversary.
Suddenly the wife picks up her cane and whacks her husband. That’s for 60 years of bad sex she tells him.
Five minutes later the husband picks up his cane and whacks his wife.
“That’s for knowing the difference” he tells her
An elderly woman was fed up with her husband not admitting he was losing his hearing. She decided to test him on it. He was in his favorite easy chair, and she entered the room behind him and said, “George.” No response. She moved a few feet closer and said, “George.” No response. She got right up behind him and said, “George.”
“For the third time, Helen, WHAT??”
Two old Southern Belles were sitting in their rocking chairs on the veranda chatting about the balls they’d attended in their far-away youth.
‘Do you remember the minuet?’
‘Hell, I don’t even remember the men I slept with!’
Actually, the way I heard it was a bit funnier. It starts with the guy telling his friend he and his wife were seeing a great doctor who helped with their short-term memory loss.
Then the friend says, “Hey, I need some help with that. What is the doctor’s name?”
Carry on.
I’m still looking for the joke that goes with the punchline, “Who goosed the moose?”