I think a lot of women who make it to one year old at all (a small minority) get so used to it that they figure they may as well keep going. Once you are nursing a toddler, you know quite well there’s nothing intrinsically weird about either the child’s continuing to want to nurse or your being willing to accomodate them, so barring some external force (pregnancy, strong societal or family pressure, or a more-annoying-than-usual nursing style by the toddler in question), most are willing to continue more or less indefinitely. Nursing of older toddlers or preschoolers is rare in an absolute sense (in the US), but in terms of absolute numbers there’s a lot of it going on. Just like probably everybody, even in the most sheltered communities, knows a gay person or two, probably every knows somebody who’s nursed a three year old. It’s just even less likely to be talked about.
I’ve seen 5 and 6 yr olds nursing in public, something that typically only happens if the child is hurt or upset and usually amounts to about a minute or 2 of nursing before they jump up and go on their merry way.
My son nursed until he was 4 and my daughter until she was 6. I think 3 was the latest either nursed in public, mainly because by that age, they were down to once or twice a day anyway, mainly at bedtime. My daughter was down to her bedtime nursing by the age of 4 but she would still ask for that one…one night, she literally sat up after 10 seconds or so, said, “I think I’m done with that” and never nursed again. (Of course she was…I just allowed her to get to that point on her own since it didn’t bother me if she nursed for a few minutes before sleep).
When my daughter was 3, she spent the night in the hospital following some stiches (for IV antibiotics) and she reverted to nursing more or less constantly for the duration…I just got into bed with her. She was seeking comfort but was mainly just HUNGRY, since she was put on a liquid diet for the anesthesia and it took the whole time to get that directive removed (the Dr. went off duty and no-one else wanted to change it, even tho’ the reason for it was no longer applicable):rolleyes:
Anyway, that was probably the last time I nursed her “in public” (sort of funny, when the nurses realized what was going on, they were a bit surprised, to say the least, and quickly put a sign on the door saying “Please knock before entering…breastfeeding in progress.” 
You would’ve thought I was in there masturbating or something. :smack:
Actually, in my experience, a lot of people have serious sexual hang-ups surrounding breastfeeding, ESP. when it involves a child past a certain age (say, 1 yr). I really think it often comes down to seeing it as a sexual act and being uncomfortable when a child is old enough to be AWARE of and/or REMEMBER breastfeeding. Our culture esp. sexualizes breasts. Of course, they ARE sexual organs, both in the sense of their role in adult sex and in the more basic biological sense of their role in reproduction/infant feeding, but breastfeeding has nothing to do with the first form of “sexual function”. I suspect many see it that way, though.
It should be pointed out that the term “weaning” actually means the process which begins the moment an infant/child consumes ANYTHING other than breastmilk or formula. By 6 mths, both mine were already being “weaned”.
Regarding the age of “weaning” (as in cessation of breastfeeding or formula), there is pretty suggestive evidence that the “natural” age of human weaning (based on comparisons to other mammals and primates as well as average practices in indigenous cultures and historically) is well beyond 1 year. (As Unauthorized Cinnamon noted).
Breastmilk continues to provide valuable nutritional support to picky toddlers and immune supporting cells (some of which have been found to persist and function for LIFE) and specific antibodies. The composition and specific antibodies and immune factors change constantly as the child’s needs change (for instance, when a child is ill with an infectious agent, the milk contains specific antibodies to that agent).
When she was about 10 mths, my daughter caught a viral illness from her cousin of the same age. She nursed through it in a few days. He ended up in the hospital on IV for 4 days, since he was bottle fed and refused to take anything by mouth. When a child is ill, they often refuse hydration and nutrition but they usually WILL nurse, for comfort, and get both.
The known benefits are significant in developed areas and CRUCIAL in less developed areas. It may not come down to life or death in the US or other such nations (though it still CAN) but it can certainly make a difference in health both short and long term.
From HealthyChildren.org:
"The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends continued breastfeeding beyond the first birthday as long as mutually desired by mother and child. … Worldwide, the average age for weaning is between two and four, and in some societies breastfeeding continues up to age six or seven. "
I don’t take “offense” at those who feel that 1 yr should be the cut-off…they are free to hold that view and act on it with their own children, if any. But I do feel compelled to correct certain misconceptions when I encounter them (such as that there are no benefits beyond that age or that there is something “perverted” about it).
I nursed my girl for 3 and a half years. The oldest child I’ve seen in public was maybe 5 or 6 in a park. Actually, I have a friend was was nursing her 5 year old but she didn’t do it in public. My father was breastfed until he was almost six. It’s really not a big deal for my family or for people here in France.
Also, there are a lot of reasons to allow a child to self-wean. I got so sick of justifying the choice that was right for me and my daughter.
I think part of the complication here is that breasts are considered sexually attractive as well as functional. It’d be great if we could get to a point where no one cared about a mom nursing in public, whatever the child’s age, but breasts are so sexualized in humans that I think you’ll find it hard to get to a point where someone can practically take their top off to feed a child without it being deemed in appropriate.
And I think the onus is on both the people watching the feeding and the person doing the feeding to be polite about it. The person watching the feeding needs to chill the heck out and the person doing the feeding needs to have a care for those around her. It’s just common courtesy.
It’s always struck me as funny how, in third-world countries, breastfeeding is a given and women (unless they commonly go topless) manage to do it in public without it ever being an issue. No one talks about how women should feel comfortable exposing both breasts - it generally doesn’t happen, and whether some woman is breastfeeding in public is not really an issue at all. But in the U.S., it’s almost a badge of honor for some - dealing with the “persecution” of not being able to feed their baby in public while almost topless (I’m referring primarily to women like that in Aanamika’s post) - while for others even the suggestion of a bare breast is like getting a snot rocket lobbed at their feet. In my own little utopia, people would just polite. Yeah, you have every right to nurse your kid in public or private as long as you both wish to do so, but please be considerate.
Publicly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone nursing a child older than age 1 or so. In La Leche meetings and at playgroups and the like, I’ve seen children up to age 3ish being nursed. None older than that, or at least I don’t think so. It’s not like I was checking IDs.
I agree. I would like our society to evolve (quicker is better of course!) to the point that breastfeeding is just normal, but I recognize that we are not there yet, and it really bothers some people. So I always try to stay covered as much as practical. In return, people should turn away if it still bothers them just to know that there’s nursing going on, or seeing a patch of breast smaller than seen on beaches and Victoria’s Secret posters. I think we can meet in the middle, while moving the middle more towards a relaxed approach, generation by generation.
Thank you. I don’t breastfeed in public much anymore, but when I do, I try not to attract attention. I don’t cover myself with a blanket, but neither do I “whip it out.” I’m feeding or comforting my child, not attempting to make some sort of point. Add me to the chorus who hopes that one day nursing is seen as both the norm and entirely unremarkable.
Hey, you’re welcome. I see red when I see “whip it out”.
One of my funniest college memories is breastfeeding related. Two friends and I were giving an oral presentation to our class–two male friends, one from Turkey, the other, whose wife and very young son came to hear the presentation. Wife and son sat quietly in the back of the room. She was breastfeeding, but as she was doing it very discreetly, I had no idea, I was way more focused on not tripping over my words and making a fool of myself. (I did manage to say “human elephants” instead of “human elements” though.)
Friend from Turkey must’ve noticed, and it flustered him big time. He turned bright red, but kept going without missing a beat. Until he was wrapping up, talking about how much we enjoyed the research, and remarked that “we had the breast time” collecting the data.
Suddenly I didn’t feel as bad about my “human elephants”.
Gotta say, I have NEVER “whipped it out” while breastfeeding in public.
My KIDS did a few times, lifting up my shirt or grabbing my boob in public…
Those who express so much offense at seeing part of an exposed breast in public (usually less than is visible in a modest swimsuit) need to learn to NOT LOOK if it offends them so much. And yet they seem to be the ones staring when most everyone else is oblivious…hmmmm. 
In a totally public place? Two years old, maybe three. Inside a home, the oldest kid I’ve ever seen nursing was 8.
This is why I stopped breastfeeding my son at just over a year old. My husband used to call him “The Koinobori” (Japanese carp streamer). They are only tethered at the head end, and the rest of the body goes whipping around all over the place. It was SO uncomfortable, even painful, not just the yanking on the nipples but even getting kicked in the head on occasion!
The oldest I’ve seen nurse in public would be about four years old maybe. The oldest I know of in private was up to nearly seven years old.
In the Imperial War Museum in London, I was feeding the Koinobori when he was a tiny, non wiggly baby - I had chosen a bench in a far corner of the big hall where they have tanks and aeroplanes on display. Despite my being discreet, one man just could not tear his eyes off me as he walked past - and cracked his head on the gun of a tank!! DONNNNNNNG! It’s my MIL’s best memory of her trip to England!!!
Egad, the Freudian allusions are overwhelming, given the absurd sexualization of the female breast in Western culture. Younger Dopers may not be aware of it, but back when cigarette smoking was more widely indulged in, it was virtually a comic cliche that a couple would be found sitting up in bed having a smoke, immediately after getting it on.
The thing is, if you watch the video of the woman who kept it going forever, you do see that it becomes a bit of an obsession–an obsession remarkably similar to how young males are oftenobsessed with breasts. They talk about the kids wanting mom to never wear bra, wanting to play with her breasts all the time, getting jealous, and drawing them. Even if that isn’t sexual, it seems unhealthy.
I also see no reason why breasts would ever become non-sexualized: besides menstruation, they are the next best evidence that the person is female and has went through puberty. Of course they’re going to be associated with sex.
Three and a half. I did find it odd that a child that age would still be breastfeeding during the day, and found it odder that the mother needed to take her top off to do so, and then left it off for a bit in case her daughter came back for more, while we carried on our conversation.
I’ve breastfed in public many times and am an advocate of it, but it doesn’t necessitate actual nakedness.
Restaurant, Aransas Pass, TX. Three year old girl running around the restaurant, runs over to her mom, sits on her lap, pulls out breast and begins feeding. My colleague quietly says to waitress, “I’ll have what SHE’s having.”
saw another nursing toddler. Looked like he had a younger brother, so she may be tandeming.
Not exactly public, but a friend of mine had a daughter around 2½ or so who would, when picked up from daycare, be apparently desperate for a feeding, and who would unbutton her mother’s blouse on the way out to the car in order to get to “her” nipple. She had to have a bit of breast milk before she would consent to being put into her car seat.
Any kid advanced enough to have that kind of dexterity should be weaned IMO. Also, I have a thing about car seats. Not optional, not negotiable.
Perfect comeback! (Er, well, not a comeback, but anyway…)
I realize this is an older post, but I wanted to let you know that this is no longer the case here. In 15 years here, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mother breastfeeding in public, and even in private homes they usually go into another room.