Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and bear witness to the 11th wonder of the world! OldScratch, the free-form poetry stylist.
OldScratch will, for your viewing pleasure, compose a short poem utilizing three words of your choosing.
For example, the three words I shall offer up for use are:
Grinder
Skeleton
Plankton
OldScratch will, in his own inimitable style, compose verse using those three words.
Do your best, and please limit yourself to words that nobody has to look up, hmmmmmm?
Grinder with beef, my god you’re full.
of fish and plankton and smelly things.
Out of the grave your corpse may pull,
a Skeleton and butterfly wings.
for fly fly flying away.
(at this point, imagine me fluttering around the room waving my arms like a pretty butterfly)
Hey oldie, call me a cab! (Snicker, Snicker)
No, go with this.
Anthropomorphic Personification
Slippery Urethra
Anal Lubricant
Maybe I’ve made it too easy…
ok totoro that’s 6 words. I’ll choose three. Namely… Personification. Slippery. and Lubricant.
A slippery slathering or slothitude.
His rippering rambling rookery.
Had gotten ska boys in a mood for rude,
so they took it out on me.
Personification placiation.
And lubricants would buy,
Hearing voices across the nation.
baby… touch the sky.
Well, this sounds like fun, how about it oldie, give it your best try…
Silly Puppy
Tie-dyed Lizard
and…
Absolut
I know the connection between the three but I want to see you try it. Love ya bunches…
Kitty
Oh, I am all over this:
Procedure
Ark
Infection
Ogre. Graaawwwr. with loud growls and noise
skinny, not silly puppy.
fun for girls and boys.
What about my guppy?
he’s at tommy toy’s
haute cuisine of china,
better food than roy’s.
Absolut martinis.
though not really can’t you see.
instead of olives, cocktail weenies,
and no vermouth but tea.
tie dyed lizard comely
outerspace filthtooth
get my airport reference?
gone for the night, poof.
A bifurcation procedure of import
one too many drinks. errrr…
thought it would stable my hands mort.
but it aint doing that. no sir
Two by Two they marched in.
germs of every taste
like a bacterial ark on pin
and needle they flooded with haste…
Infection was caused by my friends
little but bigger than you
it’ll be worse than the bends.
yes… I’m ending with shoe.
Bill Maher
Ted Koppel
Elvis
Ted Koppel was a Moppel with a peachart on piercing.
He looked and he victed and saw what was missing.
A man of great stature and calm in two storms.
a man who surpassed all our pendulous norms.
THat man was named Elvis and he carried a bag
full of loot that hung from his two fisted stag
For riding the Maher of Bill’s sweet content
on Brill, never mind I’ve learned of consent.
And weeping the willows and sweeping the trees.
of dusting the crops and stinging the bees.
right go now and spread the word upone land
the age of Koppel the Moppel is now at hand!
Somewhere…
Somehow…
Shel Silverstien is sitting back laughing his ass off at this.
And i’m sitting right there with him.
From my neighbor in the next cube:
Stapler
Dog
Tire
In the style of Kool Keith.
Like beavis sans butthead I’m shouting fire fire,
gonna roll down the hill in a big ass tire,
stapler bloke don’t choke on my vocals.
with my dick hanging out gonna poke holes…
in your verbal infections like a virus
replication.
DNA station getting cross the nation.
coast to coast, I’m the toast limo
dog style, vaseline, dirty ass ho.
grab them ankles with spackle I tackle,
Like reggie white getting sacks paybacks.
or WWF style, lay the smack down. UH!
Like beavis sans butthead I’m shouting fire fire,
gonna roll down the hill in a big ass tire,
stapler bloke don’t choke on my vocals.
with my dick hanging out gonna poke holes…
in your gritty thug life, you just whitey on a mission, don’t talk to me today or you’ll be wishing
that you never were born aborted fetuses meet us at,
Dave and Busters come pee on my pork pie hat. UH!
in your gritty thug life, you just whitey on a mission, don’t talk to me today or you’ll be wishing
that you never were born aborted fetuses meet us at,
Dave and Busters come pee on my pork pie hat.
funyuns, staplers, and messed up spacemen
pull the foreskin back, hear it snap up and then,
see what see who see men see them.
going for platnum like buster and glen.
A perfect example to why scratchie’s my hero.
blizzard
lackadaisical
destination
A destination of procrastination awaits those who seek it,
Lazy sundays on river rocks fishing with my fly kit,
Snails breath, and green acrid smells from the water waft,
a gentle breeze from the trees carry your thoughts aloft.
You hear a soothing buzzing noise, coming from afar,
too loud to be the water, too soft to be a car.
A blizzard of mosquitos is coming at you fast
This lackadasical day can not last.
You screech and scream and attempt to run,
like staring down a barrell of a giant gun,
the fear it grips you round your chest
keep running now, you cannot rest.
You manage escape with a minimal loss of fluid,
you can always seek help from your local druid?
yeah yeah yeah. druid?
A destination of procrastination awaits those who seek it,
Lazy sundays on river rocks fishing with my fly kit,
Snails breath, and green acrid smells from the water waft,
a gentle breeze from the trees carry your thoughts aloft.
You hear a soothing buzzing noise, coming from afar,
too loud to be the water, too soft to be a car.
A blizzard of mosquitos is coming at you fast
This lackadasical day can not last.
You screech and scream and attempt to run,
like staring down a barrell of a giant gun,
the fear it grips you round your chest
keep running now, you cannot rest.
You manage escape with a minimal loss of fluid,
you can always seek help from your local druid?
yeah yeah yeah. druid?
** Oldscratch**, you’re amazing!
Try:
undulate
macaroni
ephemeral
** Oldscratch**, you’re amazing!
Try:
undulate
macaroni
ephemeral
Percolations imminent, spock! a Star!
undulate the punctuations and we can go far
Ricky Rikey Rocky Roo! and then we jump.
Spelling series (whoda thought) in a soft more slump,
Macaroni with cheese please, thank you sir.
THe dog it’s beat, it’s a lousie cur.
While udder the powers of stocking stalkings
I’ve never met a Stephen Hawkings
Emphemeral he might as well be to me,
this disabled scientist, I can not see.