Dammit, I KNEW this was gonna happen someday! GROSS!!! It BURNS!!!
First of all, yeah, I guess I was askin’ for it.
Here’s the story…
In California, our scratcher lottery tickets have a “second chance” draw for losing tickets, you just enter the ticket number online. When the particular game ends, they have a draw for the top prize in the game, which can be $10,000, $100,000, a million, 2 million… nice stuff. Especially if you can enter to win for free. (I only enter for top prizes over 10K)
My local liquor store has a couple of garbage bins inside the store, short plastic bins like the ones you’d use in a bathroom. They are always full of losing scratcher tickets. That could be entered into the second chance drawing.
So about a year ago I became a trashpicker, scrounging the tickets. All the guys at the liquor store know me, and not long after I started doing this, the maintenance guy started saving them FOR me, which was really nice. But he was random about it, and he’s not always there, so I will still do it myself.
I would always pick them out with two fingers and quickly slip them into a bag. When I get home, I will inspect and clean them off or just wear gloves. Cuz hey, I picked 'em outta the trash. But the trash usually only has lottery slips, scratchers, newspapers and other harmless paper trash that’s really not a big deal. The worst would be a coffee cup. But still, its the TRASH, and besides, other people’s cootie-laden hands were all over them first, scratching them, and one of the things I cherish about working at home and not going out much is avoiding other people’s cooties.
Well, yesterday I was in the store and the bin next to the lottery kiosk was full of high prize tickets, right on top, facing up, nothing else over them or anything. I reached down, grabbed them… and stuck my hand in a huge, cold, slimey LOOGIE!!!
I screamed. Literally screamed. And ran over to the counter guy and started babbling while holding my hand as far away from myself as I could: "Please please do you have hand sanitizer please god I touched a loogie please please I beg of you please please can I wash my hands I thinkI’mgonnadiefromthegrosspleasepleasepleaseCANIPLEASEWASHMYHANDSIFYOUDON"TLETMEWASHMYHANDIWILLHAVETOCHOPITOFFPLEASE!!!
They all speak English as a second language and I think I was talking kinda fast for them because it took WAY too long (maybe a whole minute) before the counter guy said “Okay, sure” and waved me to the sink in the back.
I scrubbed my hands with dishsoap and Ajax for about five minutes.
I swear I could still feel it burning thoough my thumb for hours afterwards…
Yes, I’m still gonna snag loser tickets -yes, winning would be worth the loogie experience, I just don’t need to repeat it, so from now on, the only way I go near trashed tickets is with gloves. I’ll just keep a supply in the GLOVEbox of my car.