OMG, we need a mini-rants thread.

I heard a new business buzz-word yesterday: “level set”. At the start of our meeting, some dick-head kept wanting to “level-set”. Pretty soon other people started saying it. We were more level than a fucking football field in Kansas. What is it with business buzz-speak? God, I hate it.

That’s only because you’re spinning too many cycles trying to orchestrate end-to-end convergences without the proper Synergistic Marketechture.

Dear Dentist,

Listen you stupid, greedy bitch. My time is just as valuable as yours, asshole. How dare you keep me waiting over three hours for an appointment! Thanks to your incompetence (and the appointment I couldn’t keep because I had to pick up my daughter from first grade) I had to go to a real dentist today who promptly saw me and asked why I had put off the root canal so long.

You’re a pig and you suck. Hire someone else to deal with dental emergencies instead of repeatedly telling patients who made an appointment a month in advance to just sit there and wait until you’re good and ready to see them.

Fuck the NFL television broadcast rules. The scum-sucking Eagles are on Fox at 1:00, and the Giants are on CBS at the same time. But because I live in the Philly broadcast area, CBS has to show fucking infomercials instead of football.

Here’s a clue, guys – I may live in the Philly broadcast area, but I want to see the damn Giants, and just because you’re pushing that game off the air isn’t going to make me want to watch the scumbirds.

The extra bit of bullshit comes from the fact that I live in the same damn state as where the Giants are playing, not the fricking Eagles.

Infomercials or football? Hmm.

Ooh, I just remembered, the lawn needs mowing, and first I have a few weeks of guide dog poop to gather and dispose of.

That was a close one.

The fast-food chain called Una Mas makes a really terrific salad. It’s big, fresh, and crisp, and comes topped with carne asada or grilled chicken, for about $8. I like to eat there as it’s on my diet and within my budget, and it’s near other shopping so I can get errands done on my lunch hour.

But apparently they’ve decided to start blasting continuous-loop commercials on the in-house television. It used to play latino music videos, which were relatively innocuous. Today I had to endure a loud Serta mattress commercial for the duration of my lunch. I detest this intrusion of commercials into every aspect of daily life - on top of gas pumps, in restaurants, in Target, and even on the damned elevator.

When I returned to work, I sent an e-mail off to their corporate headquarters through their website to register my unhappiness, but their server kicked it out. Bastards.

To my cat: I no longer fucking care about your bladder issues. Stop pissing on my goddamn floor.

Poor kitty. :frowning:

Etsy cocksuckers are the most recent recipients of my ire.

For years- years! I tells ya!- I’ve wanted to be Hester Prynne for Halloween and after spending years- years! I tells ya!- trying to find a costume, I finally gave up and did a lil’ alchemy request on Etsy. I got lots of bids and picked the person with the coolest work. That was. . .June. Payment made then, too. Measurements and everything were settled in August. Nothing. When I emailed the other day, she emailed saying her son has been in the ICU and she’ll get it out to me this week. . . hrm. Fishy. We’ll see, though. If not, I’m going to be angry and something not cool for Halloween, which will- in turn- make me angrier.

To top it off! I did another alchemy request for a Thriller jacket for my lil dumb dog because I thought it’d be hilarious. This broad just isn’t getting back to me AT ALL now- when two weeks ago she told me it’d be at my door by last Friday.

Fuck Etsy.

Wow, that sucks. I’ve had nothing but excellent from etsy alchemy and custom requests. I did buy one (non-custom) item from a seller with no feedback and they were complete jerks about it, but I left them bad feedback and they’ve since been banned.

The thing about it is that there isn’t even the option for me to leave them feedback, I presume because they haven’t finalized it as done and sent on their end. Bah. I told them both that they have until Friday to get back to me (particularly the dog one) or I’m filing for refunds on Paypal.


Not you. You’re good people.

But… can’t I be both? Cuz I’m tellin’ ya, I’ve been acting like both for awhile now.

Alright, let’s not get all MPSIMS in here.

So here’s my rant:

Dear, darling, sweetheart ophthalmologist. I’ve had a bright red right eye since August 29th. That’s over two months, since we’re counting. In those two months I have had five one-week courses of steroid eye drops. Each time, the inflammation has gone away beautifully, but each time it has returned within 48 hours of stopping treatment. This has happened FIVE TIMES. So, the redness has returned, and you would like me to treat it with steroid drops for a week.


I understand that sometimes it’s not worth figuring out what’s causing irritation. You treat the irritation, it goes away, who cares where it came from? THIS IS NOT GOING AWAY. Let’s try to dig a little deeper into what’s going on before I go blind, okay? Otherwise, I’m going to punch you in your smarmy condescending face.

What did I do???

Any chance of getting a second opinion?

Avarie537: He doesn’t hate you. He envies your ailment.

My rant:
There is a time and a place for everything, you asshole, and when your dick is IN MY MOUTH, it is NOT the time to gripe about your co-worker.

Best bags ever: BlackBags on Perfect size, tons of pockets that hold anything you need.

My rants: We are in the process of cleaning the basement, which is pissing off the cats, who are in turn pissing on anything their furry little brains feel like. Fuckers.

Also, I think I may be getting the flu. Fuck.

I believe it was the “stupid slut” part (fucking was just emphasis), as neither piece is true. However, it could be just that he was an asshole for saying it, much like someone else in this thread. :rolleyes:

Stupid paper. The draft is due tomorrow at eleven o:clock, and both the ideas I have for it aren’t working. One of them is coming out like a copy of the book we’re reading, and the other one just won’t flesh out. And I have an appointment for a blood draw in the morning, so I cannot do any of it then. I thought I had this one pretty well in hand, but I’ve been fighting with it all day today, and it isn’t going anywhere. Stupid paper.

Oh shove it. I’ll take care of her, as always. It’s not even a bladder infection anymore. It’s strictly behavioral, necessitating retraining her and the pain in the ass that entails. We’ve been through this before. After a while, she simply goes back to pissing on the floor. She’s a bitchy, resentful, mean cat by nature anyway, and I’m fucking sick of it.