Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1)

There are two major “corridor” trails (Bright Angel & South Kaibab) that run from the South Rim village area down to the river bridges and Phantom Ranch. These are well maintained wide trails, used by mule trains, and 95% of hikers in the Grand Canyon use these trails. These trails are technically easy and quite safe unless you’re foolish, but there’s no getting around the gradient and the huge cardiovascular effort involved.

From Phantom Ranch and the Colorado River bridges, the North Kaibab trail continues up to the North Rim. So a classic “rim-to-rim” hike across the canyon would utilize these major corridor trails, with stops available at Phantom Ranch or several organized campsites along the way.

There are about a dozen other maintained trails from rim to river, all much rougher than the corridor trails, some requiring basic scrambling skills, and some with significant exposure.

It is also possible to hike a long way parallel to the river on the plateau about halfway down called the Tonto Platform. On the south side, the Tonto Trail (with extensions) runs for about 130 miles, but the course of the trail is so tortuous in and out of side canyons that this equates to only about 50 river miles.

A similar route parallel to the river is also possible on the north side, but there are no trails (except the short section to Clear Creek). Many cross-country (off trail) routes that do not require technical climbing are known and documented, but the terrain is rough and routefinding is challenging. Once you leave the trails, you will rarely encounter any other hikers unless you are at the river and run into a boat trip.

Enginio Dali Muniz-Colon, a pastor in Kissimmee who teaches online Ministry classes, is charged with Exposure of Sexual Organs.

This reads like really twisted poetry.

Enginio Dali Muniz-Colon,
A pastor in Kissimmee
Who teaches online Ministry
Classes, is charged
With Exposure of Sexual Organs.

Last line needs work.

No worries, something will come up.

There once was a pastor from Kissimmee
Who pondered his home town’s toponymy.
“If I fondle my willie
From grande to venti
The answer will probably come to me.”

Interesting…they took an Ed Viesturs’ quote* and quite appropriately turned it upside down.

“Getting to the summit is optional, getting down is mandatory” (from No Shortcuts to the Top: Climbing the World’s 14 Highest Peaks)

The Grand Canyon is really a mountain range turned inside out.
:wink:

Wouldn’t that be an upside-down Grand Canyon?

I don’t know if it’s changed since I was there, but the South Kaibab Trail is rather exposed and has better views, Bright Angel Trail has a pipeline and some water stops along the way. If I was going up, I’d take Bright Angel. On my trip, I did South Kaibab.

The North Rim is about 1,000’ higher than the South, so keep that in mind when planning a trip.

Some Stupid MFers up my way in the past couple of days.

Two guys decide to rob a bank, armed with long guns in our very quiet neighborhood. (rifles? Nobody is saying what kind as yet).

They stroll in, demand access to the vault. Apparently were quite calm. 24 folks in the bank were told to stand against the wall.
20 minutes (!) later, the police show up. This should not be a surprise to the robbers. They decide to shoot it out. End result; Two dead robbers. Unfortunately, 6 officers wounded, 2 of them quite seriously (need surgery).

What in hell were they thinking? Just hang out until the police show up and then have a nice shootout? Well, we’ll never know what they were thinking now.

Some friends just did Rim 2 Rim 2 Rim as a single hike/run in May. North to South to North in 30+ hours. They reported conditions to be “hot”.

I know some folks who’ve done R2R2R2R2R. Pretty extreme.

You left out the facts that they were apparently wearing body armour and armed with assault weapons. Plus they had explosives in their car. I know an officer in the force. He wasn’t involved but of course knows all the officers that were. Needless to say he is feeling pretty shook up. The leading theory at this point was that they weren’t really interested in money, they wanted a shoot out with the police. One of the injured officers is still in ICU.

Its an utterly bizarre and disturbing story…

It seems these robbers had a “get rich or die” sort of philosophy.

I’m very sorry for the injured officers and hope they recover.

Yes, it’s weird. Apparently they were in no hurry, and waited around for the police to show. Then started shooting. A strange way to kill yourself I guess.

The police are still not releasing names. I would bet they knew identities within a couple of hours, and are looking into connections at the moment.

Is that the one near Victoria?

Yes. Police are still keeping a lid on information flow.

There’s healthy, and then there’s insane.

I’d kinda like to do a rafting trip down the whole length of the Canyon, but I think one crossing was enough.

Rafting in Costa Rica is great. And the water is warm.

Nice. That bank’s two blocks away from me.
At a nearby CIBC branch this morning, I saw a new addition - an officer sitting just inside the front door.
I tried multiple times to deposit multiple checks at all three of their fucking ATMs, with no success. My swearing and near-punching one of the units made me realise - ok - let’s cool down, here - this is probably the last thing a nearby bank wants to see, and wordlessly deposited them through a teller instead, and tried my damnedest to look amenable as I walked out past the guard.

Yeah, when I hiked to Whitney summit decades ago, I got altitude, well, not sickness exactly, but issues (headache and vomiting). Coming down, with every step, I felt better and better. Shortly before we got to Whitney Portal, I felt completely normal. It was all the altitude. Other than the vomiting and all, it was fascinating to me to experience.