Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1)

They would’ve gotten away with it if the marina hadn’t just installed metal detectors on every pier.

I have never taken illegal drugs but I think I know how people could get addicted. I was in the ER with my first kidney stone attack and when I was finally able to get pain relief(I had an IV in ) I got Demerol. Geez, I felt like I was floating an inch off of the bed. Pain? What pain? I felt so good it’s hard to describe, when the pain I’d been having was just the opposite.

A hug from god or a hug from the universe. Glad you’re better. And now you can honestly tell doctors that you’ve had 10/10 pain (or something like it).

That’s my problem with the doc who says “10 is the worst pain you could imagine”.

“I’ve got a pretty good imagination, so in that case, childbirth would be a 5, and I’m at an excruciating 3.”

Like this?

Okay, now I’ll be haunted by “Are my witty comments surreptitiously influenced by old web comics?”

(But, in my case, I was picturing being half-eaten by Cthulhu while demons flayed my flesh with blowtorches and intern demons made s’mores… so that’s unique… I hope)

I heard on a message board about one woman in labor having a stone start passing. And my urologist said he’d had women say that stones were worse than childbirth,

My favorite! Allie is awesome!

“Too serious” seems to be suffering from a rather bad case of Arcus Covetous.

I can relate. I have a close friend (she is also my ex) who was in a car crash more than thirty years ago and had both her jaws broken and a big flesh wound above her knee. She was treated with morphine for the first few hours, and she described it as the most pleasant feeling she ever had in her life.

I’ve known lots of people with multiple chins, but multiple jaws is a new one to me.

My very first kidney stone was an especially bad one. I received morphine for the first (and so far only) time.

It was weird. The pain did not go away, I felt every bit of it. But I just didn’t care.

I didn’t particularly enjoy it (luckily). It wasn’t a good experience. But it did turn a horrible experience into a tolerable one.

Sorry, in German we separate between upper and lower jaw. Wasn’t aware that this wasn’t a thing in English. But good, ignorance fought once more.

I thought that’s what you meant, actually, and was busting your chops. :laughing:

:laughing: :+1:

(and some text for discourse)

One of my work mates had some serious thoracic surgery done. Basically his esophagus was threatening to tear loose from his stomach so they reinforced the joint with Dacron mesh or something. To gain access the surgeons sawed through his entire sternum and spread things wide.

We came as a group to visit and he had a canvas bandage around his torso with hooks over his chest and surgical tubing laced through the hooks like a giant boot to keep things together. Needless to say, he was on morphine up to his gills and while he was reasonably alert, it was apparent his mind was wandering out in the weeds somewhere. Some weeks later when he was back he said he had learned two things about opiates.

First, it really screws up your sense of time. About 9am an orderly would come in and ask what he’d like for lunch. He’d think about it a while, then think some more until the guy got bored and told him to ring the buzzer when he’d decided. He’s mull it over some more then pushed the button. A different guy would come because it was eight hours later and the shift had changed.

Second, he said he wondered how someone would get started on heroin or morphine. He got how addicting it was but knowing that, why would anyone take the first dose? He said, “You know, if your world is shit and you’ve got nothing better to do, it’s a really pleasant way to pass the day.”

Are you fucking serious???

The one time I was on pretty strong opiates, that was what convinced me they were dangerous.

NOTHING mattered. More than just pain, for once in my life, I was absolutely, 100% above it all; nothing in life could ever bother me again.

I am not prone to addictive tendencies, but I could totally see getting absolutely hooked on opiates if I had free access (and slightly less willpower).

this is mindboggling. there are no words.

I have trouble understanding how the black team members willingly went along with it. Peer pressure? Plain ignorance? Self-loathing? I can’t imagine…