Omnibus Stupid MFers in the news thread (Part 1)

[Love_Rhombus]

@scudsucker

Again, not being an amateur murderer, my understanding is the loss of blood pressure causes the victim to collapse and then bleed out.

“I haven’t murdered all these people just to be called an amateur!”

[digs]

@Maus_Magill

Well, I can personally attest that I have never murdered anyone by slitting their throat.

I’m not sure I trust someone who would say that.

Especially on a first date.

[Railer13]

@Morgyn

The poison did not take a couple of hours to go into effect (at least not in the book, that might have been in the original tweet). It took about 5 minutes from ingestion to death

Well, okay, then.

I’ll keep looking.

[Rick_Kitchen]

@scudsucker

Again, not being an amateur murderer

So, you’re a professional?

[Just_Asking_Questions]

@Sinaptics

I was under the impression from extensive movie watching and reading that if the opportunity presents itself, stabbing someone in the back of the neck between the 2nd and 3rd vertebrae thus severing the spinal cord, brain stem, or both (not clear on this) was the way to go. Instant incapacitation and probably much less blood.

It’s called “pithing”. I just saw that CSI:NY, too. Better than slitting the carotid.Arterial blood sprays EVERYWHERE.

Or so I have heard…

[Spice_Weasel]

@DesertDog

I remember in the LOTR Two Towers commentary when Saruman got shanked by Wormtongue, PJ commented that Christopher Lee, who was in the SOE during WWII, said when they were blocking the scene and rehearsing it told them, “Oh, no, that’s not what a person does when you stab them.”

No further questions were asked.,

Ah yeah. One of my writer friends is a Marine who is always happy to show us how to properly kill people. Awkward.

(And yup, he recommended pithing.)

[digs]

@Spice_Weasel

One of my writer friends is a Marine who is always happy to show us how to properly kill people. Awkward.

(And yup, he recommended pithing.)

And is his writing referred to as “pithy”?

[eschereal]

I have some rather large wire ties (or, as heathens would say, “zip ties”) that would do a pretty good job, the advantage being the victim is deprived of vocalization, should lose consciousness rather quickly, and the blood stays inside.

All theory, of course.

[Joey_P]

@Spice_Weasel

And for the record, if you ever get locked in a freezer, you’re probably screwed. (Though a lot of them have safety mechanisms these days.)

Also, there’s often a switch on the blowers so you can turn them off.

[Kolak_of_Twilo]

Meh.

[Atamasama]

@Chronos

Surely, the quickest knife death would be to just lop the whole head off?

No, it’s surely to just throw the knife at someone really fast.

Like, 90% the speed of light.

[kayaker]

@Just_Asking_Questions

It’s called “pithing”.

In a biology lab I pithed a turtle, then removed its heart which kept beating for the entirety of the 4 hour lab.

[Love_Rhombus]

@Just_Asking_Questions

Better than slitting the carotid.Arterial blood sprays EVERYWHERE.

That’s when you start looking for “three-piece rain suit” on Amazon.

[Gyrate]

That’s just taking the pith.

[Maus_Magill]

@digs

@Maus_Magill

Well, I can personally attest that I have never murdered anyone by slitting their throat.

I’m not sure I trust someone who would say that.

Especially on a first date.

I would never confess say something like that on the first date.

[HeyHomie]

@Morgyn

The browser search history for a lot of writers can be appalling if you don’t know they’re a writer.

Writer here. I was once looking for a feature image for my article about teenagers and tobacco use. I did a search for “smoking teen girls.” Won’t make that mistake again.

[running_coach]

@Maus_Magill

@digs

@Maus_Magill

Well, I can personally attest that I have never murdered anyone by slitting their throat.

I’m not sure I trust someone who would say that.

Especially on a first date.

I would never confess say something like that on the first date. -

Prove you’ve ever had a second date.

[Ponderoid]

@HeyHomie

I did a search for “smoking teen girls.” Won’t make that mistake again.

Google is much better now, I just tried that search, with and without quotes, and it gave me pictures and links about teen girls smoking. I don’t use safesearch settings.

[peccavi]

@kayaker

In a biology lab I pithed a turtle, then removed its heart which kept beating for the entirety of the 4 hour lab.

Kali Ma! Kali Ma!

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/PlaintiveFantasticDikkops-max-1mb.gif

[Maus_Magill]

My father was looking for a harness for his bloodhound, and googled “leather dog harness.”

Oops.