All I can do is u’se them correctly.
Oh no you di’n’t!
The secondary market for rare bourbons is huge. A bottle with an MSRP of $150 can go for 2k. They probably spent thousands and made 10s of thousands.
And I didn’t get any of the mis-routed bourbon, which makes it a Capital Offense!! 
Well, that’s possible. They claimed it was for personal use and I’m not aware of any allegations to the contrary, but obviously they could be lying.
The alcohol was illegally diverted. Was there any indication that they might have gotten a “discount” also?
Remember to also cut off the tails of his coat and punch his hat inside out. Truly a gang of cads.
North Korea has ordered everybody with the same name as Kim Jong-Un’s daughter to change their names.
Will they be required to wear their underwear on the outside?
Only if they are over 16 years old. Which they now all are. “What’s the Korean word for straitjacket?”
SILENCE !!!
He has gone mad with power…
Alas, I do not understand these references. Explanation, please?
The last few posts allude to the very early Woody Allen film Bananas and various proclamations that are made when the revolution takes over. (Yeah spoilers for a 50 year old movie… but better safe…)
It’s the Straight Dope. You have to spoiler the Epic of Gilgamesh around here. Some people…
That’s because some asshole ruined the story by telling me that Enkidu was killed off by the gods, I hadn’t gotten to that part yet!!! 
Just wait until you get to the part about the snake.
North Korean authorities are giving the public less than a week to change their names if they have the same as Kim Jong Un’s daughter, Ju-ae, reports say.
They’re always persecuting the Ju’s.
Too soon.
And too brilliant.