Punchline:
“Eat a lemon? What good will that do?”
“It’ll get the smirk off your face.”
My sister once tried to set me up with someone who worked with her. I hung out with her a few times, and each time it was something different - she hung out with Whitey Bulger when she was a kid, she also grew up in Japan, and was on the Colorado Youth Ski Team, but she had to quit after she broke her back heli-snowboarding in Alaska.
I demurred.
I had a pathological liar as an employee years ago. The funny part was that initially everyone believed her because she seemed so sincere. And someone has to be George Bush’s niece. We were all getting invitations to the inaugural, but that fell through.
Although she was living paycheck to paycheck, she owned a chain of jewellery stores in the south. All profits were given away to poor children. She owned a mansion in Georgia but was unable to sell it because the lawyer who held the will said she had to have sex with him first. She looked like Junior Samples and Minnie Pearl’s love child.
Georgia probate law is strict!
The thing about that is we all know people whose lives are exactly that crazy (right?)
Years ago one of my friends living in Japan told me he got turned down by the CIA because he dated a sex worker tied to the Russian Mafia.
I was like, “That tracks.”
So who was unwilling, the employee or the lawyer?
Toppers are real.
Wow! It’s like Groundhog Day with those clowns at Cyber Ninjas:
Here’s how The Arizona Republic revealed messages blacked out by Cyber Ninjas
Transferring pages with redacted texts from Cyber Ninjas CEO Doug Logan and his lawyers into Adobe Acrobat allows reporters to delete the black boxes hiding the words.
The real meat of the story is in the video, which is only 3’ 21" long.
Three feet twenty one inches?
Not long at all.
Cyber Ninjas
We are Smart
Of course I was referring to the time the video lasts (3 minutes 21 seconds). But, hey, you reminded me of the opening line of one of my favorite novels:
I had reached the age of six hundred and fifty miles.
While not near the top of my list, I recognized that immediately.
I’ve always grouped The Inverted World with Rite of Passage and The World Inside. The reason I group these three together is the heavy lifting perception does in the plots. The society for the protagonists in all three novels find themselves in (or perceive themselves to be in) an extreme situation. This, then, calls for an extreme solution. The extreme situation is different in each story; therefore, the extreme solution is also different.
And just in case yout thought anti-semitism was dead, advisor for Los Angeles city council member is out of a job for, you guessed it no doubt, making Holocaust jokes about Amy Schumer.
An adviser for a Los Angeles City Council member is out of a job after making Holocaust jokes about Amy Schumer on social media.
“The social media posts made by my staffer earlier today were disturbing and reprehensible,” Councilman Hugo Soto-Martínez wrote in a statement after Josh Androsky’s vile tweets began to circulate.
“With antisemitism on the rise in recent years and especially in recent weeks, cracking jokes about the Holocaust isn’t just disgusting, it’s dangerous.
“These antisemitic and misogynistic posts sickened me, and I have accepted his resignation effective immediately.”
Evidently, the ex-advisor was engaging in a back and forth with a Xwitter user named TrueAnon and said advisor is also Jewish. The thing is, the jokes are both antisemitic and misogynist. The former advisor is a stupid MFer.
Should I be ashamed of myself for being curious to know what the “joke” was?
No, you should not.
The “jokes” are in the linked articles. Made by two people… did they both get slapped down?
They were mostly about how “fat” she is. They were sooo funny I don’t remember the whole thing and don’t want to look again in case I laugh way too hard. s/
More stupid MFers/pranksters in the news:
A Houston teen who admitted to randomly punching people at a local park for likes on social media has been awarded a bond by the judge presiding over his case.
Not content to just punch random people, he also committed armed robbery. Just for funsies.
The Harris County Sheriff’s Office reported that Lewis assaulted two individuals, one of whom he punched in the back of the head. In a separate incident preceding the first one, Lewis approached another man and tapped him on the shoulder with a firearm.
According to court documents, after shocking the man with the weapon, Lewis proceeded to point it at him and demanded that the man give up his phone. When the victim refused to hand over his phone, Lewis threatened to shoot him in the foot. The victim relinquished his phone to the teen.
(emphasis added)
Despite the prosecution pushing for a high bond, the judge awarded him a more reasonable bond than suggested, setting Lewis’ bond at $30,000 with the caveat he must wear a GPS ankle monitor and be placed under house arrest once he is released from jail.
“Lewis then punched the judge in the back of the head before bailiffs could restrain him. He was heard screaming the name of his TikTok channel repeatedly as he was dragged away.”