Weak-wristed dildo-flinger isn’t just an insult in this case.
Well, yeah, he throws like a boy.
To be fair, I have no basis for comparison on how far an average man should be expected to be able to toss a dildo or the proper technique for doing so. I would expect, given the irregular shape, that some practice would be recommended?
They’re in a real pickle now.
With some shapes, there’s the risk that the dildo comes back at you. Ask any Aussie.
“Take care when throwing the dildorang!”
I will confess that I’ve never thrown a dildo before, but I’ve thrown wobbly rubber bones for a dog that I imagine are roughly the same size, shape, and elasticity as a dildo. (Maybe, my dildo experience is lacking so I might be wrong, and I assume there is some variety with penis-shaped sex toys.) You want to hold one end of it and hurl it in a way that makes it spin in the air, that should get a good distance. (Which end? That I really don’t know, as my experience is again lacking here.)
I bow before your superior dildo projection knowledge and will implement the suggestions should I ever be found in the situation
I believe that is the default expectation across virtually all demographics. I mean my sincere reaction upon hearing the news of the incidents was along the lines of Who the Hell THINKS of this???
It may be adding insult to injury, but perhaps the expectation is that should one want to attempt such stunts, it behooves to actually rehearse beforehand.
Then again, anyone possessing of such perspicacity would not likely contemplate such a course of action to begin with
It’s what he had at…hand.
I’m just imagining a person, holding a floppy dildo as danger approaches, and they calm themselves, close their eyes, and then there is a ghostly voiceover from memory…
“…You want to hold one end of it and hurl it in a way that makes it spin in the air, that should get a good distance…”
Kind of like the ending to Star Wars, except with more sex toy projectiles.
Or the cut from the dawn of man to the space age in 2001, except with a dildo.
The unspoken additional humiliation is, the kid had to drive to Castle Boutique or whatever, probably ask the seen-it-all clerk “excuse me, where at the green foot long dildos?” And then pay for it from some cute check out girl. “No really, it’s not for me!” “Sure, kid that’s what they all say. What you do is up to you. That’ll be $25.99”
Not necessarily, you can get all the dildos you want from amazon. Ask how I know… 
You can buy virtually ANYTHING legal at Amazon. But I’d rather patronize a dedicated online boutique for these sorts of product.
Then again I am sure the folks at Adam&Eve would rather people did not use their wares for this.
The throwing technique is different depending on whether you’re going for distance or penetration.
Someone should start a thread titled “Questions Never Asked In A Sane World”.
Now I’m picturing this 18 year old basement dweller using his mom’s Amazon account.
“I got the Amazon order, my new book is here, your new version of WoW and…what’s THIS?” “Mom! Don’t touch my stuff!” “Yours? You ordered this? Is there something you’d like to tell me, son?”
One ignores the green silicone atlatl listed as frequently bought together at one’s own peril
I believe an atlatl requires a fairly longish spear to have proper leverage, and that would be a pretty big dildo.
I bet you could get a jai alai cesta to work.
Good luck smuggling that into a WNBA game though.