About the only way that could have been improved was if the crook had been beaned by a hefty woman wielding a cast iron frying pan. Which beaning had subdued him until the police arrived.
Alas, it was not to be.
I have a shirt that says “Live your life so that if it was turned into a book Florida would ban it.”
As Florida is rapidly being taken over by rural conservatives vs. the cocaine-fueled insanity of the big cities as told by Dave Barry, getting your life-book banned in Florida is changing from super outré to something real ordinary.
Just do something that would offend blue-nosed religious conservatives with 4th grade educations and Bam! You’re banned. Like get an abortion or vote for a Democrat. Or graduate college.
Everything’s gone to shit since Tom Petty died.
Dang, I think I have been to that Walmart…
Petty, Prince, Bowie, Lemmy.
We should have seen the signs.
Did you engage in a fracas?
No but looking back I can’t deny it had a certain fracas-ishy vibe.
In this story, the stupid MFers are three people who parked their cars at O’Hare Airport in Chicago, and not only did they leave the doors unlocked, but they left their keys in their cars.
https://wgntv.com/news/chicagocrime/chicago-police-warn-of-vehicle-thefts-at-ohare-airport-garages/
:: sheepishly puts hand up 
I’ve done that.
On a trip overseas, parked my car at the long-term car-park at Melbourne Airport. On the day we were to return to Aus 2 weeks later, I started panicking when I couldn’t find my keys in the hotel room. Nada.
Contacted my son to retrieve spare key from house and bring to MEL. It was an overnight trip for him on public transport, but he was there at 5am to meet us!!
Except getting to the car, found it was unlocked and lo and behold…there were my keys on the front seat.
I haven’t yet lived that one down.
Link to photo of graphic injury:
I wouldn’t spend 6 hours climbing down a mountain in this condition just to avoid the cost of a helicopter rescue [which could have happened as the group had satellite communications available].
ETA: spoiler tags on graphic photo -Miller
Free javelins!
I used to know a girl who was shopping for Christmas one year. Her boyfriend called, and they decided to go out to eat. He met her in the parking lot, and they took his car.
Afterwards, he took her back to her car so she could go home. She couldn’t find her keys. In desperation, she looked in the ignition, and saw them. Then she realized that she could hear her car running. In frustration and desperation, she grabbed the door handle. It opened.
She’d left her car running, unlocked, for a few hours.
In the latest from Florida, two dudes scatter mothballs on the beach to disrupt endangered birds from nesting.
About 15 years ago I had my gall bladder removed and there were complications. The clamp on my bile duct had apparently come undone, or was leaky, but at any rate by three days after the operation I was in agony. At 3:00 in the morning I called a cab to bring me to the hospital because I was in too much pain to drive and there was no way I would ever call an ambulance for anything less than a compound fracture or something.
Checking online:
A patient always has the option to deny an air ambulance, but Gallatin County Sheriff Search and Rescue (GCSAR) says it rarely happens in southwest Montana. The average cost for an air ambulance to transport a patient to a hospital is about $40,000. According to Amber Hanes-Miller, the community outreach expert for Life Flight, insurance companies have historically covered about 80% of the helicopter transport. So, on average, the patient is slapped with a $9,000 bill. “And that’s being increased by today’s rates,” Hanes-Miller says.
From the article:
The 32-year-old nurse, who works in wound care at a hospital in Billings, Montana, did a self-assessment. He was alert. There was little pain or blood. And the pole wasn’t moving. The group used a satellite-based communication device, a Garmin inReach, to contact local authorities and inform them of their plan to self-rescue.
Then they started hiking out. They carefully descended from the plateau along an unmarked route, navigating through boulders and snowfields before bushwhacking their way to an established trail.
After more than six hours in which they traveled about 10 miles (16 kilometers) and descended roughly 5,000 feet (1,500 meters), the group reached a trailhead where one of them, Cifaldi’s friend Jesse Ross, had parked a vehicle.
“The only reason it was possible at all was his confidence,” Ross recalled. “Who are we to say anything? He’s the medical person. Our job is just to support at that point.”
He seems to be in good health. He’s a medical professional in a relevent field and they had a satellite phone to call in help if things went pear shaped.
I don’t see this as being a stupid MF for wanting to save $9,000.
9K is a lot more money for some people than for others. It can be anywhere from impossible to pocket change.
I’m guessing that for that person it was closer to the impossible end.
Surely there are ways to get out of an impending marriage that don’t involve breaking laws.
A woman was arrested and accused of setting fire to a meetinghouse of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Kaysville this month while setting up her own wedding.
Police say the 25-year-old stole a lighter and used a tampon to start a fire under a chair inside the meetinghouse late July 10, the night before she was set to be married in the church.
The woman, from Wyoming, was decorating the church with the groom and other family members that evening, according to a probable cause statement. The group was getting ready to leave for the night when the fire alarm went off.
The woman was arrested Monday, more than two weeks after the fire, on suspicion of aggravated arson, retail theft and providing false information about her identity.
“The bride did not obtain a marriage license for her own wedding that was to occur the following day after the fire but had lied stating she had.”
Roman Catholics generally have to get married in a church. Is it the same for LDS? In which case making the building unavailable is a way to postpone something you might be being forced into. Not necessarily physical threats, but family/society expectations can be hard to overcome if one has gotten cold feet.
After more than six hours in which they traveled about 10 miles (16 kilometers) and descended roughly 5,000 feet (1,500 meters), the group reached a trailhead where one of them, Cifaldi’s friend Jesse Ross, had parked a vehicle.
Serious question, how’d he get in the car? Unless he was standing in the back of a van, I can’t see a good way for him to be in a vehicle (with seats) that isn’t going to pushing on that pole.
At least in an ambulance, he could probably be sitting upright, like he is in the picture, with someone or something supporting the right side of his back, but in a passenger vehicle, I’m not sure.
Having said that, if I was ambulatory, I’d probably do what I could to avoid a helicopter rescue as well. But something I’d be concerned about is ending up in an even more inaccessible place when the adrenaline wears off and the pain/shock/fear sets in.
I would think in a group hiking in those conditions someone would have a multitool with a saw blade.
Plus, I see no sign that there was any attempt to stabilize the pole like taping.