Although many of you already heard the news, I thought it might be something some of the rest of my SDMB friends might want to know.
My partner Q and I are almost to our second anniversary and are making lifetime plans. It’s great. He’s wonderful.
He’s also in the Navy. Last April he had to move across the country for a new assignment. We’ve been doing the long distance thing, but it wore heavy on us, so we were just in the process of deciding about me moving there (temporarily - we want to settle on the west coast once he gets out).
Last Thursday he was told to get ready to ship out to Iraq.
So it’s for a six month tour, which hopefully won’t get extended. It looks likely that he will be a field corpsman, which means he’ll be out in the field with a squad of Marines making sure they don’t bleed all over the sand. On the downside that means he’s going to be a tad closer to the action than either of us want. On the upside Marines tend to take care of their corpsmen, since they take care of them.
Very frustrating for both of us. We were totally freaking out the first couple of days, but we realize there’s nothing we can do about it, so we’re moving from “it only takes one zealot…” to “after I get home…”
He’s going to spend a week with his family next week, and then I’m going out for a week the following week. We have much to do while I’m there - although we have the option of flying up to Vermont or Massachusetts to get married, we can’t because he’s in the military; therefore we need to update wills, draw up powers of attorney, inform his family on how to get in touch with me (since the Navy doesn’t know I exist), etc. (I was relating all this to a female co-worker whose husband is in the Marines, and I think as I was telling her all this it really kind of hit her how difficult life can be for same-sex couples, especially in this kind of situation.) Of course when he gets back same-sex marriages will be legal all over the country and the military will allow openly gay servicepeople to serve and we can get married and… oh, no, wait, it won’t. Oh well. (Needless to say when he gets out in 2007 the first thing we’re doing is going to Boston!) He can go and serve his country (in a pointless war, but I digress), but he can’t share in the benefits that country has to offer. Huh.
One of the difficult things I’m having trouble dealing with is that he joined the service to basically escape his parents, who all but imprisoned him when they found out he was gay. How ironic, of course, that all this should happen. In the meantime I really never thought we’d be dealing with this, nor that I would become such a stereotypical military spouse. Fortunately I’ve found some places with other military wives and husbands who are very supportive, and I’m glad for that. It’s going to be a tough six months for me, and even thougher knowing that I’ve got it easy compared to what he’s going to be going through.
I will ask, are there any other corpsmen out there, or people who have served in Iraq recently? Some realistic expectations might be helpful for me.
Thanks for letting me vent.