On death and Dopers

[KlondikeGeoff]

@Mellivora capensis

I have a Medic Alert chain which sets the whole contact kaboodle in motion.

Yeah, me too, but I don’t think we can get them to post a notice on SDMB, can we?

For those who live alone, you might consider one of the many Emergency Alert systems. I have one, and it seems like good insurance (as my wife is out shopping or otherwise galavanting about frequently). They place an answering-like machine in the house and provide waterproof buttons that can be worn around the neck, wrist or clipped to a belt.

If one calls, they have a 911-type computer screen come up automatically with your name, address, medications and other important info. You provide up to three neighbors phone numbers, give them each a key, and the operator calls them immediately. One of my neighbors is an RN, so that’s helpful.

If you mash the botton and can’t talk, they immediately call 911 and also the neighbors to come over. If you are not in dire straights, but ill, you can still call and the neighbor will come over and help, or call for help.

The device I have is surprising. When they installed it, they tested it from every room in the house, some ratehr remote. Just talking in a normal voice level, the operator could easily hear, and her voice was automatically raised to a level where it could be hard everywhere. The machine self-tests every 24 hours.

Prices vary widely for these services, so check 'em out on the Internet if interested. Not just for geezers, as remember, anybody can trip, fall, get injured or otherwise need help and have no ability to reach a phone. Good service for those who live alone.

[Enright3]

@Happy Clam

There’s an easy way to solve this problem- a “Yes I’m Still Alive” thread. Every doper checks in once every 12 (or maybe 8) hours with a post along the lines of “I am still not dead.” That way we’ll know for sure when one of our members kicks the bucket! (Plus the position of the thread will be a useful indicator- if it slips off the front page, mass dopercide has occured).

I’ll go and start it in Great Deba- oh. Hang on. We already have them, don’t we? They’re called livejournals. My bad.

That’s way too much work. How about just the opposite? If you die, please be kind enough to post here. However, if you’ve turned into a Zombie, then have the courtesy to make a post to The I’m Now a Zombie thread only.

I don’t want to get this thrown into The Pit, but you members of the undead, always act so selfish. I’m just sick of it!

[ZebraShaSha]

@lieu

The question here is who ARE the omega dopers?

Everyone seems to be so insecure on the Dope…

::psi::

[eleanorigby]

@gigi

It sells because it is an excellent base for things like cookie chunks, chocolate syrup, that peanut butter stuff that hardens into a shell, banana splits, maraschino cherries. By itself, not so much.

Well, this cheered me up no end. I don’t know whether to appreciate the help or be insulted by the sentiment…

Since I doubt anyone will miss me here, to hell with notification. I’ll just keep you guessing. So there.

[Cluricaun]

@Dung Beetle

Yeah, *that’ll * boggle some minds.

The pretend news report that just played in my head made me laugh out loud. In your case just wear a SDMB t-shirt, ok? Then we’ll start a thread and have everyone post to it, and figure out it was you through process of elimination.

No, wait. Forget all that. I want to see a news report stating that a person calling themself “Dung Beetle” just went postal somewhere…

[Marley23]

Yeah, I’ve thought about this too. I do have two real-life friends on this board, so I suppose they’d eventually post about it. Only a handful of people know I post here - I think if more people knew how many message board posts I’ve racked up over the years, they’d be scared.

[Annie-Xmas]

@swampbear

Or maybe I can become a zombie who wanders around the country eating doper brrrrrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnsssssss! Even when you hear I’m dead, fear me still!

@lurkernomore

Remember, you are what you eat…

I just love that these two posts are sequential.

I live alone and do the Dope at work. If I die, I doubt that anyone would tell you.

[Omegaman]

@lieu

The question here is who ARE the omega dopers?

If alphas are the originals then I might be an omega ~ I’m pretty sure I"m still steaming

[Tupug_Anachi]

@eleanorigby

Since I doubt anyone will miss me here, to hell with notification. I’ll just keep you guessing. So there.

But riggsie, I WOULD miss you! ::sniff::

[ladybug]

My brother’s a former Doper. I’ve already told him to post a message here if anything happens to me (not that anyone knows who I am).

[PapSett]

This sort of thing goes thru my head a lot; not necessarily informing the SDMB, because, I mean seriously… would anyone here REALLY notice if I was gone? Most likely not.

But I am single, live alone, and honestly, I have NO local friends. None. Zilch. Zero. Zip. Nada. If I were to drop dead right this minute, it could very well be weeks before my body was found.

Which scares the hell out of me. I have 4 dogs and 2 cats here with me. My best friend lives in Virginia, half way across the country. How would she even find out?

This thread opens up a whole can of worms for me, many questions I would love answers to.

[Shirley_Ujest]

Ooooh look at the google ads for Humans with parasites in them.

Anywhoooo, I would strongly suspect that for you loner dopers that the mail carrier would notice your mail piling up and eventually Do Some Investigating.

[Baker]

Not that anyone would care, but I have left instructions with my sister, who is the executrix of my will, on how to make an email to the mods to let them know I’ve died. Hopefully they might make a brief mention of it. I also have some IRL friends who are Dopers.

[swampbear]

@twickster

I think I’d have to fear you in the first place before I could fear you still.

It’s just because you don’t have to worry about me eating your brrrrrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssss! So There!

Baker you best figure out a way to let me know. I just can’t miss a good Episcopal funeral, after all. Besides, there’s always ham at the luncheon afterwards and I love me some ham.

[Kalhoun]

@bup

I consider you an alpha doper - I recognize the name and read the post - if I disagreed I’d probably reread it more carefully, to give you the benefit of the doubt. I might even open a thread simply because Kalhoun started it.

Aw, THANKS, Bup! Your name is my MIL’s nickname. I frequently wonder if she’s checking up on my on-line life I read your posts, too!

[Kalhoun]

@scotandrsn

If dying without anyone noticing or caring is the sort of thing that occupies your thoughts, see (or don’t see, depending on your point of view) a documentary called A Certain Kind of Death, a 2003 documentary about how the LA County Coroner’s office deals with dead people for whom they can find no trace of a next of kin.

It’s about as documentary as a documentary can be, the camera mostly acting as an unspeaking eye on what happens to three such victims. As such, it acts as one of the most poignant commentaries on the human condition I’ve ever seen.

Awesome documentary. I think it’s running on cable this month. Catch it if you can.

[TellMeI_mNotCrazy]

If it helps, Mellivora, I’ll keep an eye on the papers for any honey badger deaths… If I read of one, I’ll post about it here

[Nawth_Chucka]

@PapSett

But I am single, live alone, and honestly, I have NO local friends. None. Zilch. Zero. Zip. Nada. If I were to drop dead right this minute, it could very well be weeks before my body was found.

Which scares the hell out of me. I have 4 dogs and 2 cats here with me. My best friend lives in Virginia, half way across the country. How would she even find out?

I have 2 indoor cats, and I think that as long as I didn’t die on the toilet, blocking the water, my cats wouldn’t mind much until they ran out of soft bits of me to pull off.
You just know they’d still be sticking their heads under my hand for petting, poor dumb brain-the-size-of-a-peanut things.

[eleanorigby]

@Tupug Anachi

But riggsie, I WOULD miss you! ::sniff::

OK! That’s one! I’m on a roll, ladies and gentlemen…

I would miss this place, so I can’t die. Hang on-if I’m dead, I don’t care about life stuff, 'cause I’m dead. So, either way it’s good–I can enjoy it while I’m living and don’t have to worry about it when I’m dead. This is really good.

Yes, I’m on medication-why do you ask?

hee.

Ok-the whole cats eating your corpse thing is a bit much for me. At least a family member would find me. Unfortunately, that most likely would be a child/teenager first. The solution for me is to NOT think of this at all.

[Seven]

A couple months back I died. No one around here noticed.
After about three days I got bored of being dead and came back. Now I’ve got a bunch of dirty hippies and handicapped people hanging around my house.