My roommate used to be a Doper, and knows I hang out here. If I croaked, he might log on & let someone know.
He’s about the only person in the world who knows though, so if we both died in the same car crash, the Dope would never hear about it.
It’s not like anyone here would be, “where’s Lev been? He always answers the quantum physics questions.”
Do you know how **hard ** it is to dislodge a tapioca pearl the size of one’s thumb from one’s nostril? Ow, I say. At least the pearl was a bit soggy…
Anyway, my contribution to the thread: Nobody on the Dope would know. I’m pretty paranoid about keeping my online and RL lives separate. Mostly because… uh. Well. You never know which Doper will turn out to be the one with the Dorrance steel hook for a HAND!
I’ve thought about leaving a list of people I want contacted online should anything happen.
Then I figured, I’m 20. I don’t need to think about this yet. How about another beer?
(I strongly suspect no one would even notice my absence anyways)
Thanks for all your responses, I feel morbidly relieved that I’m not the only weird one here.
And TellMe, on a more sombre note, yeah, in real life the little guys are not doing too well. They are endangered and are often dying in gruesome circumstances initiated by humans. If you enjoy honey, make sure you only buy “Badger Friendly”.
In the unlikey event that the Straight Dope should notice my absence and learn of my actual demise, all I ask is that Dopers from all nations, all creeds, all walks of life band together and AVENGE MY DEATH!! You know I’d do the same for you.
mm
The challange for me is finding somewhere to put my “contact these people if you find me dead somewhere” list both somewhere where someone will notice it, but not make it so obvious that I was making detailed plans for the event of my own death. (It could cause undue worry…that and I need plausible deniability.)
About the only way y’all would know I’m dead, is if my death made the local news, and Tuckerfan remembers my real name from the couple of emails we’ve exchanged over the years. My husband may think of notifying y’all eventualy.
Before I changed my username, If I went a week without posting, I would get a “You okay?” email from atleast one of several dopers. Now, I have a feeling I would disappear from memory. 
I would miss you…and I’m sorry but I don’t remember what your old name was.
Hillbilly Queen, I think…
Sonofagun. Who knew? I’d definitely miss BOTH of you!
Yup, that’s her and I’d miss her too. There’s probably 10-15 people I’d notice after a little while that they were gone.
Awww, thanks Kalhoun and Mr Bus Guy. Right after I made that post, I had me a little adventure. As I was huddled in my bathroom, I wondered how ironic it would be if that had been my very last post.
Might as well answer here and now, so as not to be accused of attention- errrr asking. 
No-one’s going to notify the SDMB when I’m dead and gone, since my partner HATES computers. He hates writing as well, but I do trust him enough to send some messages to the rest of my family.
I mean: It would be odd, if my great-aunt would phone, ask for gum, and my partner had to admit I’m dust already. Wouldn’t it.
So: I’ll be here, buggering you all, for at least some months. I hope.
If, a while, you hear nothing: the emphysema got me by the throat [heh] and did me in.
Now is a good time also to say: **For those of you that mailed me: Thank you. You’re the best. Hugs! ** AND my apologies for not writing back, again and again. I’ve become a cranky old gum lately and I don’t want to spread my crankyness.
To the rest of you, Dopers: Thank you for educating me. I did learn a lot on this board. [and I * still* love America and Americans :)]
See you around.
gum.
If, a while, you hear nothing = If, AFTER a while…
[I’ts early, here]