Oh, right–one more thing. If they’re going to allow you to cut down your duties/work hours in your accommodation, and you get a choice of how much…
Figure out what you think you need, and then cut it some more.
I kept telling my bosses that I could work 80-85% time, but that was too optimistic. I didn’t want to come off like a slacker who wasn’t trying, but then I couldn’t fulfill my promises, and that made me look even worse.
Ruby, can you rearrange some stuff around the house so that your work space feels more like a sepàrate space? Maybe shuffle the desk a bit, and instead of having your whackiest calendar on the wall above the computer screen, have one that’s sober without being ugly.
That is a recommendation I have often seen for teleworkers. My current job is… well… looking for my next job 
but I know that it helped me to rearrange my computer corner so it was different from when I only used it for “play” and to set specific timelines for doing certain things. And I’ve often worked from home when I had to whack through massive amounts of data.
While working in your jammies is comfy, forcing yourself to “dress like I’m going to an informal office” before you sit at the computer is generally a Good Idea. I’ve found that it wakes me up and helps me get more focused on the task at hand, less on thinking about how pretty the neighbor’s canary sings.
Best wishes on everything, and lots of Good Vibes from Spain. They’re sunny good vibes!
Update.
I’m breathing a temporary sigh of relief. I had a teleconference with my boss, his boss, and the HR rep yesterday and I’m still employed.
I went into the meeting with a written plan of accountability to keep me on track which was a good thing according to the HR rep. Part of my plan was to have regular meetings with my boss (weekly for 1 month, monthly for 3 months) to help keep my feet to the fire and help him see both the areas for improvement and my successes. His response was, “If I have to have weekly meetings with someone of your experience and ability, then perhaps you’re not the right person for the job.” :rolleyes:
My boss’s tone and attitude were cold and uncaring. I attempted to give them some background about the deployment and anxiety/depressive disorders. The HR rep responded by saying, “Most everyone that has performance problems has a ‘reason’. Some people have a hundred ‘reasons’. We’re focusing on the performance issues here.”
I was stunned.
Unfortunately, I feel stuck here. To go to another company doing the same job, I’m coming off of two bad performance reviews and am not a stellar candidate. The thought of starting over with a new company is overwhelming anyway. To go to another career, I’ll never be able to make the money that I’m making now at any entry level position. Hubby doesn’t have a job to come home to after the deployment so it’s imperative that I remain employed.
The bosses are making an addendum to my December 6th performance review. I can’t wait to see what that entails.
I’m exhausted.
I’m glad you’re still employed. Yeah!
I’m pissed they’re being such assholes about it.
One more idea, you may be able to get your local US Rep’s office to give 'em a call for failing to be supportive of a Reservist’s wife… especially if his job is gone.
WRONG WRONG WRONG!
Run, don’t walk, to your HR people. Explain the situation. As an HR person myself, you sound eligible for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). Ask about it after you tell them your side of the story.
HR is there FOR the employees’ rights…not to be Axemen & women all the time.
I would definitely give it a try if I were you. Don’t take this lying down…you have, what seems to ME, to have a damn fine reason for having issues with your work.
Good luck and keep us posted.
DAMNIT!
Slow on the draw. :smack:
Good for you, Ruby.
Before I went to the hospital, I did call my home office HR rep to discuss FMLA. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be out of commission. As it turned out, I was only out for 3 days because the med change was immediate and effective.
I’m hoping that I don’t have to be out of work even on FLMA because of this. I’m just trying to slug through one day at a time.
:smack: I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that. I’m a personal friend of the gal in the congressman’s office that handles military complaints. Duh. I’ll certainly keep that on in my back pocket should I need it. Thanks!
Wow. I feel rather fortunate, given the circumstances surrounding your situation.
Last year I went to my boss and told her I was being treated for depression. She was very supportive and understanding, and probably let me get away with some stuff I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry your boss isn’t as understanding as mine was. 
I hope it works out okay for you. 
Best of luck with the rest of this Ruby.
Don’t stop with contacting just your US Rep, I’d write letters to anyone and everyone concerned with the military and gov’t who might be of assistance.
Your company HR and your boss are being idiots. Perhaps you could stay just long enough to bring your reviews back up to sterling, all the while secretly looking for another job.
Best of luck.
Now it’s time to find a lawyer.
HR reps usually know that the ADA requires them to make reasonable accommodations for people with a disability. Clinical depression often is serious enough to qualify as a disability under the ADA.
It seems that your HR person does NOT know this, or is hoping that YOU don’t know it so the company doesn’t have to go to the trouble of complying with the ADA.
You need someone to advise you on what your rights are. I don’t know where in Indiana you are, but most cities have a number of legal organizations that will take on employment discrimination cases for free or on a “sliding scale” basis.
You can also get a free packet of information from NAMI. They will send you information about how the ADA applies to mental illness and what your rights are. If you have trouble getting the info from NAMI, check in here and let me know. In that event, I will get it for you.
Please consider seriously before you say, “I can’t afford legal help.” You would do well to spend even just one hour with a lawyer to have them fill you in on what your rights are. In the event you need it, it might also be only an hour or two to have them come with you to a meeting with the HR rep.
As a lawyer, I can tell you that it’s always better to get legal help early on, before things get to a crisis point–because legal help can often avert the crisis.
As always, feel free to email me with any questions.
I keep forgetting the military angle. Call your husband’s ombudsman right away. They can probably point you to some legal resources that will be free or low-cost.
Q.N.Jones, your kindness and wealth of information has been incredible. Thank you. I think you are right in that I should be seeking the advice of a lawyer now so that I know what my rights are should things go sour again.
The meds have made my whole outlook and attitude better so I’m hoping that this is a done deal. However, while I’m not in the depths of depression sounds like a good time to start doing the legal research.
I’m still employed for now. If I screw up again, I don’t think they’ll be interested in talking about “reasonable accomodations” without a little, errr, encouragement.
I am also eternally grateful for all of you who’ve responded to this thread not only with words of encouragement but also for the few kicks in the butt. I’ve never been as low as I’ve been during this period of my life. The community on this board is absolutely amazing. I love you guys, man. :sniff:
I haven’t posted to this thread before, but I have been following it. As well as (I’m sure) many other lurkers out there.
Please let me wish you all the best, and for your sweetie to return to you quickly.
{{Ruby}}
Also, your local NAMI office will have connections with people all through the mental health community in your area. They are an advocacy group and a resource for people like you or those with family members in similar situations. A major part of their work is simply helping people find the resources that are out there that could help them. Additionally, a case like yours is one of the cheerful ones - there are still things that can be done to keep the situation from going irretrievably wrong. Many people who come to NAMI do so only after they’ve hit rock bottom. Please, believe me, they’ll be thrilled to try to help you.
[QUOTE=RubyThe meds have made my whole outlook and attitude better so I’m hoping that this is a done deal. However, while I’m not in the depths of depression sounds like a good time to start doing the legal research.
I’m still employed for now. If I screw up again, I don’t think they’ll be interested in talking about “reasonable accomodations” without a little, errr, encouragement.[/QUOTE]
This is the right attitude, in my opinion. During my depression, I had a lot of ups and downs. Things would be better for awhile, but then I’d slip up again.
If I had it to do again, I’d do it the way you’re proposing above.
The offer to get you the info from NAMI stands. I don’t have the number to call for the Indiana NAMI people. I got mine from the Minnesota folks, through my therapist. But if you can’t find out who to talk to at the Indiana NAMI, I will ask my therapist for the number again.
You’re in my thoughts. As always, feel free to email. Laura
Your boss is a self centered incompetent fucknut. Document everything. Keep detailed records of his refusal to discuss anything with you.
That is a standard lame ass excuse most incompetent lazy managers use when they think they might be hauled up for not doing their job (managing). Notice, he said “your experience and ability”, so maybe you can start highlighting his incompetence and inablilty. Maybe he is not the right person for his job. He is a hatchetman. Watch him.
Keep trying to set up telephone conversations, keep sending emails requesting consultation, and keep records of his “unavailability”. Email him a proposed performance plan (with an attached receipt) and keep the receipt (read and deleted, deleted without reading).
In short, start building a CYA file or “Pearl Harbor” file. Be willing to use it against him when or if the time comes. You might be able to either cool his jets or get rid of him.
Good advice I forgot to give. I did this. I kept a legal pad in my desk so it was always handy. Record every asinine thing that anyone in charge says to you.
I worked with lawyers and even they were too stupid to keep from saying things that could get them sued. Whipping that record out at an opportune time will make it clear to them that you mean business about protecting your rights.
Exactly. Keep records. As others, including some managerial types said, the boss should have been aware of the past 25 years of excellent work, and should have looked into the reasons behind this recent period of “problems”. You don’t just throw good people out. He sounds like one of those who thinks “I’m the boss so now I can screw off, not give any direction or leadership, leave early, blame underlings, and shit on them”. It’s ironic that these are usually the ones who demand total loyalty and decry the lack of it, but refuse to give any in return. Build a file on him. Get on HR to do right by you (document them too). Get the Army or Navy, whatever branch your husband is in on their asses. See if there is a union there who you can use for representation or advice. Make a few calls to the state.
C. Y. A.
Excellent advice. I’ve already started that file. Some of the things that he has said to me (like the one about maybe I wasn’t the right person for the job and the one about my past history not having any bearing on the job that they’re paying me to do today) have surprised me beyond belief. Fortunately, most of my conversations with him are by email or phone so it’s easier to take copius notes.
Ruby.
Covering her rather large ass.