I should have learned my lesson… I told someone else about it about a year ago, including my user name. Then we had a falling out. I was very sorry I had shared. But I couldn’t help it this time. He was the kind of person who would really fit in here.
Cool, that’s good to hear. Maybe that mean I’ll get out of this rut in a few years or so. I think the big problem is I’m not really all that interested in dating right now. It’d be nice to have a part-time guy for the occasional dinner and mackin’ but I really don’t want much else and don’t want to do much work to get there.
But, lord help me, I was just idly checking out Springstreet again (didn’t I swear off this game like two days agao?) and saw some cute guys so I unhid my profile. (it’s violet_tremor if anyone’s curious) Edited it to be super blunt and added a photo that’s really me, big guns and all. I’ll leave it up for a week and just see what happens…
Well, I messaged some more local people on okcupid. I hope someone is interested. I’m really up for dating right now. I have evenings free, and until I start rehearsals my schedule isn’t super-busy. Money-wise I’m also doing okay.
So I really want to go out to coffee shops and stuff and meet these people I’m talking to. Trouble is, the replies are slow and few between. 
Antares – nice rewrite!
(Folks, it sounds like I’m patting myself on the back – but I didn’t rewrite it, she did – I just made a couple of suggestions for things to cut and things to add – it’s still totally in her own voice and that is Antares’s ad, not some fauxtwicks’s.)
Good luck with it – and if you meet Mr. Right with this ad, I get to be the flower crone at the wedding!
I’ve managed to start a few conversations on OKCupid, but yahoo personels is like the black hole of dating sites. Unless you want to date a Russian woman with poor english.
I’m rather amazed at the number of women who only want guys who have never been married. Apparently the whole divorced thing really wigs 'em out.
Well, it does imply a whole lot of emotional baggage. I used to be weirded out by divorced guys until I hit 30 and realized that the guys who hadn’t been married before tended to be the odder ones.
Now, my issue is kids. I’m old enough (37) that a lot of guys in my age range have children from past marriages. BUt that’s a huge can o’worms I don’t wanna deal with…
It is funny how each site seems to have its own personality. I don’t know about black hole, but people on Yahoo are generally less friendly and open to talking. If you aren’t exactly what they want, including distance, forget it.
As far as the divorced thing, it isn’t just women. Men are the same. In general, people seem to want others in the same situation as themselves - can’t say I really blame them. 
That’s the truth. Have you ever noticed trends among people on-line? I seem to find a lot of teachers and tall women while searching myself.
And there are way too many women with profiles titled something along the lines of 'Where is Prince Charming/Knight in Shining Armor/et al.?" Sometimes it just comes across as creepy, like they are waiting on someone else to take care of them.
But, you know, I think a lot of guys really like that. Like a single male friend of mine explained when I was complaining about not getting that many hits. If a woman sounds too independent, guys won’t think there’s any place for them…
Well, I see the flip side of that coin. I don’t check out the competition too often (the women’s profiles).
I see a lot of shorter than average men, with blue collar jobs. The only other thing I can say is if they aren’t smiling in their picture, there is almost always a reason (and not a good one)- either they are a serious MoFo, or they have bad teeth. I just looked at a profile today of a guy who had like 6 pictures, and wasn’t smiling, not even a little, in any of them. It was creepy.
As far as titles, I see a lot of men with titles saying something along the lines of “Is anyone really out there?” or “Does this really work?”
I see way too many people with laundry lists of what they are looking for, and that “Prince Charming” attitude would worry me that they were another perfectionist looking for someone who is superhuman and doesn’t exist.
Once again, tremorviolet, you’re in my head – and you can take that for whatever it’s worth! 
Both “Bob” (39) and Bachelor #2 (33) are divorced; I don’t mind at all anymore. I still have a hangup about guys who are just separated, but divorced hasn’t bothered me for a few years. It can mean a whole world of baggage, but that needs to be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.
Bob had a young daughter, and that was the first time I’d considered getting involved with a dad. It was a little weird, but I figured I’d just put off meeting his little girl for as long as possible: I like kids, but don’t want to get involved with anyone’s children unless the relationship gets serious. It helped that he shared custody with his wife; it would have been trickier with someone who had sole custody. I’m only 33, but it’s old enough that – like you say – many guys have kids from previous relationships (and I tend to like guys a few years older than me). I’m at the point where I don’t think it’s fair to anyone to automatically rule those guys out anymore, but I was still pretty relieved to confirm that B#2 has no kids. 
I agree, but that way of thinking has always bugged me: if there were no place in my life for a guy, I wouldn’t have a profile on a dating site!
Not so much on OK Cupid, but on other sites I remember seeing a lot of guys claiming to be “Prince Charming;” e.g., “I know how to treat a lady,” “I’m looking for that special woman I can spoil,” etc. It’s like they were looking for the idea of a girlfriend or wife, instead of a partner. ::shudder::
Does anybody else avoid profiles where the spelling is atrocious? I just can’t handle that. Or all caps.
Only 48 hours until I meet Mr. Cutie! We just now exchanged phone numbers. I’m very nervous. I want to meet people, yet I HATE meeting people. I will dredge up this thread and tell you all about it late Sat. night.
Good luck, trublmakr! Try to relax and have a good time.
You should list the part of the state you’re from if you’re leery of giving actual cities…If I was in eastern ohio and saw your profile I might pass it up figuring you could be in eastern penn, while you may be close to me in western penn.
(But alas in real life I’m in southern Michigan so even though you look like fun it’s a bit long of a commute but hey, if you’re ever in northern ohio )
I’ll update what I’ve not been doing (alas). The guy I’d been talking to for several weeks, J, until he had his family troubles and clammed up, has not tried to communicate with me in any way lately. I’m going to send him an e-mail asking how his holidays went, and telling him a bit of what I’ve been up to since we last talked. I’m also telling him about my new short haircut, since he found my old picture, where my hair was quite short, worthy of several naughty thoughts, as he’d put it.
Another guy, D, called me the night before graduation and we talked for two hours. I found him very easy to talk to and enjoyed the conversation immensely. I haven’t been able to talk to him since, partly because I’ve been extremely busy and partly because I hate calling people. Even though he said I was quite welcome to give him a call. I don’t like the idea of interrupting people if they’re doing something important. I’ve always had a hard time calling people unless I was already dating them. D is divorced, as is J, and he’s 35, with a nine-year-old daughter who lives in Iowa with her mother. He seems to be a family-oriented guy, and has a number of skills. I really like that; people who can do a lot of different things impress me. I’m going to e-mail him too.
I also plan to get my OkCupid profile in decent shape so I can start using it.
Yeah, I can handle a few errors or the use of “i” instead of “I”, but get too far out there or SHOUT ALL THE TIME and it turns me off. Also the overly depressed. There’s a difference between “Where are all the good guys?” and “I have terrible luck with men. Are there any good ones out there?” or “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”. C’mon, most everyone on a dating site hasn’t found what they’re looking for.
Oh, and I’m a Priss. Opposite of the Playstation. I should avoid the Playboy and Loverboy, but consider the Manchild. My male counterpart is the Mixed Messenger, who apparently should go for the Priss.
I believe if you’re an okcupid member and logged in, when you look at a profile it tells you how many miles from your location the town is. My town is actually listed on that profile, though nobody not from the area has ever heard of it. It’s in the north-central-ish portion of PA, for the record.
(And though I’m only looking to date people within a reasonable driving distance, I’m always up for new people to chat with. )
Ok, so we met. And it went WELL. It’s so nice to be with someone you don’t find repulsive, as the last couple of guys I’ve met have been. He’s very nice, very much “a gentleman”, whatever that means.
He says he really likes me, and that kind of puts up warning flags for me, as I’ve come to learn you can’t really know if you like someone until you’ve been out a few times. But, I think he just really wants to be in a relationship, and I think he really does find me attractive looks- and personality-wise, so I’m gonna go with it. I have a feeling that we WILL have a relationship. I am happy, and I’m looking forward to whatever future we have. Yay me!!
Good, trublmakr.
I’ve heard nothing from J or D yet. Guess that’s at least one answer. Oh, well. Once more into the breach!