On skipping an old friend's baby shower

I hate, hate, HATE bridal/baby showers. Hate them. The combination of pre-feminist femaleness and unbridled consumerism just skeeves me right out. Not my cup of tea.

Luckily I only have one group of friends who is into these things, and they’ve all gotten married. After the last shower I vowed never to attend another.

Of course, I hadn’t counted on the BABY showers. The first one is in a few weeks.

I called in my regrets, which is a funny way of putting it because I would have regretted going more than I do staying away. I’m not going because I know I will have a miserable time. The event is held in the middle of Buttfuck, York Region, and I don’t have a car, so I can’t even pop in for an hour - I’m at the mercy of whoever can drive me to/from the subway (which itself is a million miles from my house, so even if I only went for an hour it would be an entire afternoon’s commitment). Plus, the friend with whom I normally attend these things, who hates them as much as I do and with whom I usually down a fifth of whiskey before entering the party, is not going.

All in all I can think of few less pleasant ways to spend a September Saturday afternoon.

Now. Another member of this group of friends has planned a trip to the cottage for that weekend, which I found out after I had decided not to go.

Consider:

  • The husband of the showeree will be attending the cottage so there’s no way she won’t know that I skipped her shower to party with our friends
  • Two other women are skipping the shower in favour of the cottage, but while I have known the showeree for 15 years, they are new girlfriends of our shared guy friends and have only known her for a few years
  • The showeree knows I hate showers, but at the same time I know they mean a lot to her
  • I’ll still get her a present

Now, how wrong is it for me to go to the cottage?

Umm… what is this cottage? Did you accidentally delete a paragraph?

Guessing, the shower (to which you cannot get) conflicts with a party at this cottage (to which you can get). And you’re going to the party at the cottage. Right?

So go to the cottage, meet up with the husband, and say how glad you’re now able to attend by proxy.