On this day of Thanks, enter here to find out how you've wasted your pathetic life...

[Shirley_Ujest]

Mueseum of conceptual art

Jersey Joe Walcott became the oldest man ever to win the world’s heavyweight boxing title.

Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield, considered to be his greatest work.

Esther (“Eppie”) Pauline Friedman Lederer took over the “Ann Landers” advice column. Her twin sister, Pauline Phillips, began writing the “Dear Abby” column under the pseudonym Abigail Van Buren. They became known for their common sense advice on subjects such as not pretending to be someone you’re not.

Opera singer Beverly Sills finally achieved international prominence in a production of Handel’s Julius Caesar.

Earl Vickers became the first person to translate the entire Bible into Pig Latin.

Earl Vickers is my new personal hero.

[norinew]

At age 42:

Arlette Rafferty Schweitzer became the first woman to give birth to her own grandchildren.

Mme. Tussaud opened her wax museum.

Henry Shrapnel, an English artillery officer, invented the shrapnel shell.

“Satchel” Paige became the first black pitcher in the American League.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar became the oldest NBA regular player.

Tennis player Bill Raskam became Renee Richards and registered for the U.S. Women’s Tennis championships.

Junk bond promoter Michael Milken was indicted for conspiracy, racketeering, and securities fraud.

Joseph Hazelwood left the bridge of the Exxon Valdez and turned over control to a shipmate, after which the ship struck a reef and leaked 11 million gallons of crude oil.

And I just turned 42 earlier this month, so I still have plenty of time left to accomplish any or all of these things!

[Chavardz]

I’ve always loved this quote from Confesions of a dangerous mind:

Jesus was dead and alive again by the time he was 33, you better get crackin’

[APOC]

HA !

That’s inspirational !

Yesterday I was lamenting the fact that it was looking increasingly unlikely that the Nobel Committee had just lost my number and that unless saving the world on a daily basis becomes an Olympic Sport I am unlikely to be having a civic reception in my home town.

And now I find out that Mark Twain , Agatha Christie and Hans Christian Anderson werent even published at my age and that I still have a whole 3 Months to match Bill Gate’s feat of becoming a millionare before 30.

Today life suddenly aint so glum

[pierre72]

At age 32:

Alexander the Great conquered almost the entire known world.

There’s still time, then…

Mwahahahahaaaaaa!

[garius]

Pitt the Younger was Prime Minister of Great Britain by the age of 24. :eek:

That gives me 7 months - i better get cracking…

[Einmon]

And, APOS, don’t forget, there’s still time to party:

Hank Williams overdosed on drugs and alcohol.

[Einmon]

APOC, of course. If only I could find out the reason why I am not yet published…

[DaisyFace]

British ethologist Jane Goodall set up camp in the Gombe Stream Chimpanzee Reserve on Lake Tanganyika and began studying the lives of chimpanzees.

Wow, suddenly volunteering for the Girl Scouts seems even more rewarding, and age-appropriate. (26)

[flodnak]

Originally said by Tom Lehrer
"…by the time Mozart was my age, he’d been dead for two years."

[Fretful_Porpentine]

At age 27:

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. dropped out from his job at General Electric to become a full-time writer.

Henry David Thoreau went off for two years to live alone in a cabin at Walden Pond.

Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first person in space.

Memphis millionaire Frederic W. Smith, whose father built the Greyhound bus system, founded Federal Express.

Scottish botanist David Douglas discovered the Douglas fir.

Ernest Hemingway published his first novel, The Sun Also Rises.

Boston dentist William Morton pioneered modern anaesthesiology after learning that inhalation of ether will cause a loss of consciousness.

I could do the cabin thing, although most of the others are pretty much lost causes.

[Ruby]

At age 44:

George Washington crossed the Delaware River and captured Trenton, New Jersey.

Why the hell did he want Trenton, New Jersey anyway?

[alice_in_wonderland]

At age 30:

Hank Williams overdosed on drugs and alcohol.

Well heck. Even I could do that…

[Bumbazine]

At age 56:

George Granville Leveson-Gower, duke of Sutherland, destroyed the homes of Scottish Highlanders and drove thousands of residents off the land to make room for sheep.

Well, that cheered me right up. :rolleyes:

I’m gonna go bake some pies. That’ll be better than ol’ George did.

[Capcha]

at age 22:

Caresse Crosby became the first person to patent a brassiere, which was made of two handkerchiefs and ribbon sewn together.

Should i laugh or cry?

[Guinastasia]

At age 25:

The future mythologist Joseph Campbell decided to move to Woodstock to read the classics for five years, nine hours a day. Living on very little, he would make himself readily available as a dinner guest.

Orson Welles coscripted, directed, and starred in Citizen Kane.

By this age, Charles Chaplin had appeared in 35 films.

P. T. Barnum bought a “160-year-old” slave woman and began a career in show business.

Janis Joplin made her first recording, “Cheap Thrills,” which grossed over a million dollars within a few months.

Chris Burden created “Painting Shoot,” which involved the artist being shot in the left arm by a friend.

Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly alone across the Atlantic, thus winning a $25,000 prize.

Fayette, N.Y. farmhand Joseph Smith founded the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He claimed he translated the Book of Mormon from some golden tablets revealed to him by the angel Moroni.

Bavarian painter Aloys Senefelder invented the lithograph.

French engineer Benoit Fourneyron invented the first waterwheel turbine.

Sarah Bernhardt scored her first triumph, being asked to repeat her theatrical performance before Napoleon III.

Physician Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile. As he collapsed unconscious into the arms of his trainer, the loudspeaker announced, “The time was three…” The uproar of the fans drowned out the rest of the announcement.

[Ringo]

Apparently 50 is a relatively quiet age. The only exciting thing listed is a dubious “accomplishment:”

Antoine Lavoisier, the founder of modern chemistry, was sent to the guillotine in retribution for directing the previous regime’s tax organization.

[Cerowyn]

*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest *
**Mueseum of conceptual art

Earl Vickers is my new personal hero. **

Seems you’re the same age as me.

[Saint_Zero]

At age 35:

Based on a nightmarish dream, Robert Louis Stevenson wrote The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Russian ambassador Aleksandr Borosovich Kurakin introduced the practice of serving meals in courses.

Frederic William Herschel, an English astronomer, invented the contact lens.

American sprinter Evelyn Ashford won her final Olympic gold medal at age 35, old for a sprinter.

Amedeo Avogadro developed Avogadro’s hypothesis.

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin achieved his life’s ambition at age 35 and wondered, what do you do after that?

Mozart stopped composing and started, well, you know…

I’m sunk.

[Tripler]

At age 26:

Napoleon Bonaparte conquered Italy.

Gon Yangling memorized more than 15,000 telephone numbers in Harbin, China.

British ethologist Jane Goodall set up camp in the Gombe Stream Chimpanzee Reserve on Lake Tanganyika and began studying the lives of chimpanzees.

So, I can conquer a nation, be Rain Man, or go about my own monkey business. . .

Choices choices choices. . .

Tripler
Well, Napoleon and myself are the same height. I think I’ll start with invading North Dakota.