Inspired by this thread, in which DeVena and others admitted to being butt-ugly when they’re bawling (to which I responded with a silent “Amen”), I would like to come forth and admit that, except for the oodles of goo leaking from every orafice in my face when I’m bawling, I might just be even uglier when I’m enjoying an ab-cramping, cheek-weakening, gasping, choking, uncontrollable belly laugh.
I had one today at work (in a stunning show of unprofessionalism that really needn’t be mentioned except to illustrate how this was one of those times when I shouldn’t have been laughing . . . which, as we all know, just makes ya laugh harder), and found myself burying my entire face on the table, in the crook of my elbow. The other people in the room (who were laughing equally hard) thought that I was merely trying to gain my composure or something, but really I was trying to shield them from the truth:
That I am horrifyingly unattractive when I’m laughing that hard.
Please tell me I’m not alone.
Actually, I know I’m not entirely alone, because I’ve seen the same ugliness on the faces of my mom and sisters when they’re cracking up; but for all I know, we could just be the Freak Family.
I’m with you, Auntie Em. Once I saw a snapshot of me that was taken at a family gathering, right after my cousin had told a hilarious joke. I was unrecognizable. My face was so contorted that it looked as if I were in the midst of childbirth.
I didn’t know I was until I was about 15 years old. I was laughing very hard at something on a schoolbus, when suddenly, the attention shifted to me when a boy said “Look at her face! Look at how much gum she’s showing! Oh my GAWD!”
Ever since then, I hide my face, or cover my mouth with my hand. My teeth are smallish (though not freakishly so), and so if I’m not careful, if I begin to laugh uncontrollably, I show a lot gum. I have to be careful not smile too big if it’s not a perfectly calculated smile, too, because of this.
I smile with my mouth closed a lot. My teeth are a little crooked, too, though I’ve had braces. They’re not terrible, just one of those things I hide. I want to get some invisible braces whenever I get insurance. I don’t know if the gum thing can be fixed or not.
The only one who really sees me smile and laugh is my husband, and he forces me to put my hand down, and he tells me I’m beautiful - but he’s the sweetest man in the whole world, because I know the truth: I’m hideous when I laugh.
Luckily I’m in the oh-so-private confines of my cubicle right now. Besides, everyone around here (unlike the people in the meeting) has seen evidence of my secret. A couple of weeks ago, we were having a group potluck for some reason (someone’s birthday, maybe) and as I sauntered over to the garbage can in my cutey-booty favorite skirt to daintily dispose of my paper plate, I tripped over my own feet and went face down (and ass up) into the trash can (well, OK, my face never made it into the trash can, but it came zooming up at me with alarming speed).
Of course EVERYBODY saw (and laughed), but I was far less embarrassed by my clumsy tumble across the room than I was by the resultant labor-like contortions of my face as I laughed along with them.
But you’re right–I’ll definitely avoid family gatherings from now on.
You know, the truth is that the beliefs we develop about ourselves as teenagers (due mostly to opinions expressed by other teenagers) are probably complete and utter bullshit, and nobody else really notices the things we’re self-conscious about.
But it’s amazing how those suckers hang on to our psyches, isn’t it?
I, too, tend to cover my mouth when I smile or laugh. My crooked teeth bother me a lot. But I know the truth: my husband thinks I’m beautiful, teeth and all, and if he thinks so, that is really all that matters.
Oh, yes. I have perfected a closed-mouth snicker for those times when I don’t want someone to see the full hideousness of my laugh. Sometimes I lose control of my hilarity, and it’s not something you want to witness. Hint: I snort when I laugh (though not all the time) and that’s the least embarrassing thing about it. My teeth aren’t great (hello, veneers! I’m saving my pennies) and they show in all their lack of glory when I laugh.
It’s not the unattractiveness that bothers me too much, it’s how pink my face gets. You laugh and your face turns pink and then you’re embarrassed it’s pink, which just makes it worse.
Sneezing won’t win anybody any beauty contests, but at least most people treat it as involuntary ugliness. Laughing and crying you signed up for, as though you *wanted * to scare small children.
One of my college friends looked gorgeous laughing or crying. She sparkled with life, or was touchingly tearful, like a delicate porcelain doll. It’s a good thing she was really nice or we’d have had to hate her for it.
I’m astoundingly average-looking (not helped by being overweight), so my face tends to look thoughtful or placid most of the time.
When I’m laughing, I think I could just barely be pretty–I do have a nice smile.
When I’m crying, though, I turn even paler than usual except for big runny red streaks around my eyes, watery red rings, and a huge, swollen honker Rudolph himself would be flabbergasted at. So, yeah, I look uglier when I cry.
(How do so many actresses cry on camera and still look impossibly beautiful?)
Oh I think I probably look okay when I cry for pretend. Real crying though, woah. Also, my eyes stay puffy for about 24 hours. When I was a depressed teenager I used to wake up with my eyes swollen almost shut sometimes. I’d ice them half the morning and still look like some kind of creature from outer space.
Everyone looks ugly when they yawn. I’m not 100% positive but I think I look pretty ugly when I’m in the thoes too. But that’s the same as looking ugly when you laugh. It’s cancelled out by the fact that you’re happy. I don’t mind being ugly as long as I’m happy, but when I’m sad, I’d prefer to be pretty.
:dubious: Okay everyone, I suspect: Those individuals who are not thought of as attractive, or close to it, to begin with- Obviously ugly when they cry, and depending upon the teeth and or fat around the neck/chin area…could be the same or uglier when they laugh. The truth is - ug is ug.
I realize this sounds a bit harsh, but honestly its like a person going from a size XXXL to a size XL. Though they are not the same, and the person in question can explain the specific differences…the general public still sees “Big”
I’m often struck by how much prettier I am when I’m crying. Not the balls-out heaving cry, of course, but right after that when my face stops contorting and my eyes are bright and more “alive” than usual.
I do, however, look like a Disney pig when I laugh too hard.
I’ve long since become resigned to the fact that my favorite hair cut (short and spiky) makes my head look like a potato. Especially when I have any sort of expression on my face. Laughing or crying? Might as well peel me, fry me, and dip me in ketchup. At least my teeth are finally straight.
I’m kind of the exact opposite as others here. My “regular” face looks rather prudish and dour, but people say I really transform when I break out the genuine, involuntary smile or laugh. I know I look hideous when I cry, though. I loved “Blair Witch Project” just for its accurate portrayal of crying (snot, tears, red, nasty face, instead of that Hollywood perfection with a few well-placed glycerine tears. There’s not much that’s dignified about genuine, uncontrollable misery).
But that’s the same as looking ugly when you laugh. It’s cancelled out by the fact that you’re happy. I don’t mind being ugly as long as I’m happy, but when I’m sad, I’d prefer to be pretty.