Oh: One thing I hate is when someone gives you a freebie and you can’t figure out if you tip for the cost. Isn’t that stealing? If I order two drinks and the bartender puts one on the house, do I tip him for two? Or if a waiter puts in a free dessert for my meal, do I tip extra for ‘exceptional’ service? It’s dishonest.
It’s not exactly rude, it’s just not part of the general culture. There are some high-end restaurants in major hotels for example where tipping is not completely unexpected because they are used to foreigners tipping, but at the vast majority of restaurants tipping would just confuse things. What is the waiter/waitress going to do with it? Pocket the cash? That would be uncomfortably close to being dishonest for most people. Put it in the cash register? That would unbalance the books and you’d have to explain it to the manager. The only reasonable thing a waitperson could do would be to take it to the manager and say “the foreigner tipped me - what should I do?” and let the manager decide what to do.
There is also the potential of offending someone by tipping, but it would depend on the person. A waitperson might think you are viewing them as a charity case.
Don’t tip in Japan. You’ll still get excellent service. If you don’t, then don’t go back.
This has nothing to do with ‘being cheap’, as some people in this thread are implying. You still pay for excellent meals and service. One restaurant I frequent has one of the best steak dinners you’ll ever have in your life. A very small place and it only has two tables. The service is efficient, friendly and prompt. It will cost you about 175 dollars per person, drinks not included. No one expects a tip, and everyone is happy because everyone knows what they are getting.
Thanks Isamu, that makes sense. So it’s not rude as is “Stupid frickin’ customer…”, rather that it just throws confusion into the process. I was thinking who doesn’t like free money? Makes sense now!
Tipping achieves two purposes: thanking the person serving you and making it so they remember you the next time you patronize them.
One of the rules I’ve always followed is to tip generously, usually 20% or higher, especially when dealing with bartenders, waiters/watresses, pizza delivery and barbers.
I go to the same barber shop for a haircut, but usually only once every two or three months. Without fail, the barber always remembers my preferred haircut. This is because I tip generously.
Back when I used to go to bars, I always tipped the bartender well. Not only did this guarantee excellent service, but it also meant that when business was slow, the bartender wouldn’t mind mixing up an unusual drink for me like a sidecar or a tom collins or a dry martnini to my specifications.
It helps to keep in mind that most jobs where tipping is involved aren’t easy. Sure, they may not require advanced degrees, but that doesn’t make the work any less demanding.
Besides bartenders, waitstaff, pizza delivery and barbers, I tip if the service was above and beyond. Last winter I lost electricity in half of my place. The electrician took care of the problem quickly and efficiently and I was glad to toss him something extra for his efforts.
I think if people were generous and willing to give a little more for service, the world would be a happier, friendlier place.
Bri2k
For those that think tipping shows class, I disagree, I consider it shows a lack of class it is condescending and a hold over from the master/servant relationship of the past. It seems to be a non-too-subtle way of allowing the tipper to feel powerful and superior to the tippee and at the same time giving the tippee a twisted view of what their job is supposed to be and what their responsibilities are.
It is long past being an extra, now it is compulsory in some situations and exists only as a potential dis-incentive when the expected does not come up to scratch.
When I eat out the person serving me is an equal. They are paid an amount to carry out all necessary tasks to keep me fed and happy. I prefer that cost to be part of the bill so that there are no confusions and no need to perform mental gymnastics to tot up the financial and social costs of tipping.
And for those throw the servers cash for a bit “extra”?..tacky. Reminds me of Henry Hill. The Copacabana scene in Goodfellas instantly marked him as a dick in my mind.
No, if people are paid a decent living wage without having to kiss your arse or tug their forelock, then the world would be a happier and more friendly place.
If my bartender buys one of my two drinks, I tip for both. 
Pretty much every restaurant and bar has a system for allowing staff to hand out a certain amount of free stuff a night. People love getting free stuff and will remember their positive experience for a long time, and it’s ridiculously easy to get yourself a customer for life for the price of a few ounces of liquor or a couple scoops of ice cream. The “freebie” allotment’s second purpose is to serve as a backup plan to smooth things over if something goes wrong- which will happen at least a few times on any given shift, no matter how good you are. To have an angry customer placated and out is worth eating the cost of a few desserts now and then, and it’s less hassle for everyone if the waitstaff has the ability just to hand that stuff out as needed.
Yes, you should tip based on what the bill would be with the freebie added.
I used to work in a bar, as a pump jockey and also in a convenience store - at none of them did I get tips, at all of them I could remember my customers and their preferences.
Now when we go out (eating) we tend to get remembered - I am thinking for two reasons, first of all, I’m kinda distinctive, but secondly the way that we treat waitstaff. Friendly and courteous, helpful and easygoing - we don’t tip (its not the culture here)
Our hairdresser remembers what we like - we take them fruit from after we travel, when I was bartending, I never minded mixing whatever the customer asked for - they wanted, it was my job to get, pure and simple.
I think that if everyone just remembered their manners, treated each other equally and were reasonable the world would be a happier place without the need to bribe anyone with a tip.
On re-read this sounds kinda snarky - it’s not meant to, just a different philosophy on service staff and what should / does motivate them.
I don’t believe in tipping - except as a thankyou when the service has gone above and beyond and somebody has made a special efffort. I never expected it when I was working, and most times would not have accepted it if offered - I just liked to do my job well.
Being a Brit the US tipping culture seems strange to me (but each to their own)
The thing that I find strange is the growth in the percentage tipped over time 10-15-20%
It seems to me that when people were tipping 10% they got better service than bad tippers, eventually more people pay 10% so 10% didn’t get you any special service so some people payed 15% to get better service, eventually everyone starts paying 15% to get decent service and so it goes on
I see some people posting who are tipping 20-25%
At some point you will paying over 100% of the cost price just as a tip - thats got to be weird
The “punishment” for a lousy meal would also seem to fall disproportionately on the Server - If the kitchen send out a disgusting meal it is the Server who will miss out on the tip and then get taxed as if it had been paid - thats hardly fair
Actually, it’s bit more like saying “God bless America” and “In God we trust”. Some of the comments in this thread indicate that tipping is as rational as some religious beliefs.
And parts of culture can change …
Kind of. The “freebie” has to be authorized by management.
Tightly-run restaurants have computerized order and inventory systems. Yes, a certain amount of “comps” (complimentary items or meals) are expected, but they are monitored for at least two reasons:
- To make sure that aren’t too many of them, which can indicate too many customer service problems that needed to be addressed.
- To make sure that the computerized inventory matches the physical inventory. Too much of a mismatch indicates sloppy management and/or employee pilfering, and can have a significant impact on profit.
In some ways I agree with Citizen Pained: It is dishonest for a employee to offer free items … unless that offer has been explicitly authorized by management, either on a case-by-case basis, or in accordance with a company policy that allows the employee to do so. And yes, some waiters are interested only in their tips, and have no interest in restaurant profitability and viability. These waiters can be dishonest, and dishonesty shouldn’t be rewarded.
I agree. The “inflation argument” for higher percentage tips is silly.
Keep not eating out.
I bartended for 9 years on both sides of the Atlantic (George Kapkan - I’ll give my take on the differences when I am at home and not on my phone posting).
I bartended because I liked it. I tried waiting, and hated it, so didn’t do it. Meanwhile, I got myself 4 and a half degrees, and am now a practicing attorney. So how do I fit into your idea of bartenders?
Please don’t come to the US. Those of us who live here have spent years fighting the idea that we’re all cheap pricks. I’d hate to be looked down on in a new place you had recently visited for sharing your accent.
The Steve Buscemi Rule:
Anything a character played by Steve Buscemi does in a movie or TV show, do the opposite.
Eh? No one is saying that. Bit of a knee-jerk reaction.
Former bar tender here (worked a 5am bar in Chicago). Did the back bar and all I did was servce bottles and a few mixed drinks. Tips were our lifeline and they were pretty good.
Still though, the OP has a point. Why should the consumer have to pay to make up for the low wages of the server? Shouldn’t the business just pay them what they deserve? Why should someone pay a dollar per round/drink? Where did 20% come from? Why tip a cab driver who does nothing but drive you where you need to go?
Here’s the other side of the coin. I from Ireland and I spend half my time in Europe. Service on the continent can (and usually is) utterly crap. The level of service in the US is typicaly an awful lot better. Noticeably so.
As such, I’m torn. Ideally a tip should be for exceptional service but we don’t live in an ideal world.
It’s a combination of custom (i.e., it’s the way it’s been done here for many decades), and (I suspect) it’s advantageous to the restaurant owner, from a tax standpoint, to do it that way. Barring a groundswell of support for an overhaul of the whole system, I don’t foresee it changing any time soon.
Oh I agree it’s just frustrating. However, it’s also frustrating dealing with crap service in Europe.
Perhaps, but as I cannot change the current system, not tipping would only hurt the person providing the service.
Bri2k
“Europe” is not a helpful generalisation. And honestly? I find USA customer service to be intrusive and overbearing. It annoys me and makes me feel uncomfortable. I much prefer a laid-back style.
It can be, particularly with water (they seem obsessed with filling the water glass in the US). Overall though, it tends to be better service (in my experience). Many restaurants in France and Germany (and England and Ireland) have just terrible service and treat the customer very poorly. Perhaps your exerience is better but I eat out a lot (5-6 nights a week) so I think I’ve a decent sampling to go off of.