“It’s the ship that made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs”
Okay, I’ll admit that pushing the yellow button was probably a mistake.
“That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”
Was cited by Johnny Carson as being the least-spoken sentence in the English language, but also works for this thread.
It was the best of times; it was the blurst of times!
You know, if I wereSteve Martin, I’d buy a Porsche just to put the lie to this sentence. Of course, for all I know, he owns a few.
There is no such thing as a Gnomish pygmy war rhino.
This is one of more than 2,000 “Things Mr. Welch is No Longer Allowed to Do in a Role Playing Game.”
Note: This link is only to the first 500.
“He was one hundred and seventy days dying and not yet dead.”
-from The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester
Being goofy in an RPG is one thing. Being goofy in the army is taking it to another level. Some choice samples include :
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Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
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Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
… -
Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are “casualties of war”.
… -
My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
and my personal fave :
198. Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.
“I too once passed the Dimrill Gate,” said Aragorn quietly; “but though I also came out again, the memory is very evil. I do not wish to enter Moria a second time.”’
Louise to Thelma: “You know how I feel about Texas. We’re not going that way.”
Just think Lucretia, he could be the second poor schlub you reverse impregnate and force to have an abortion.
Let’s not forget: It was a dark and stormy night!
“Poor Albert floated when he died.”
(From a short story what is pretty much the OP.)
“Every time I wake up I think I’m gonna be back in the jungle.”
(Listening to a classic yesterday, my mind took a weird turn: )
I’ve got pieces of April…
…stuck in my teeth?
…in my freezer?
…buried in the backyard?
“She thinks about a boy she knew at school”–Lying Eyes
Obviously a throw away line, needing something to rhyme with “fool.” But what is the story there? Did she reject him because he was poor? Was he a struggling artist, and is now extremely wealthy? Is he the “boy” she just had sex with?
The mind boggles.
Roy Batty in Blade Runner:
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.”
OK, it’s three lines, but it suggests a fascinating back-story.
I once heard a guy on a public phone scream “I got a tattoo by myself, I bought a gun by myself, I can certainly go to the movies by myself.”
That line cries out for a story.
And that was only one of the many occasions on which I met my death.