One of the stories of Krishna - a romantic MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Step 7: The party.
Several customs may take place during the party.
One: The bride’s sisters and girlfriends may steal the groom’s shoes.
IF the sisters successfully keep the shoes hidden until the right time, the groom has to pay a price – usually in the form of money or small gifts – to each girl to recover his shoes.
IF the groom’s brothers and friends can recover the shoes or keep them from being stolen, the groom doesn’t have to pay.
It causes for quite a fun little game, let me tell you.
Two: They may play “find-the-ring”.
They put a small silver ring into a large bowl/platter of milk. The bride and groom both have to scrabble around in the milk and locate the ring. Whomever finds the ring first is said to “rule” in the marriage.
There are others but that’s all I can think of at the moment.

Step 8: The Vidaa, or leave-taking
Recall that in the old days often the bride would be going as much as ten villages away, and with limited transportation (rickshaw or oxcart), you might see her once or twice a year, if you were lucky. Recall also that often girls were raised by spoiling them and loving them, since it was known that once they went to the in-laws they’d have to work all their lives. And you get an idea why the vidaa is such a sad moment.
The bride bids goodbye to her mother, her sisters, her brother, and her father. Brides are considered to have a special relationship with their fathers, as is not uncommon in most cultures. So that relationship being somewhat weakened is considered especially poignant. In the old days she would get into the doli (palanquin) and be carried off. These days it’s often “get in the car” but sometimes they will have a doli to carry them to the car, or some such thing. All of the bride’s family cries, and the groom’s family consoles the bride.

Step 9: Arriving at the new house
Nothing fancy, but a coconut is broken at the bride’s feet when she steps into the new house, and gifts are showered upon her. The bed is decorated with flowers. The bride goes in first, and sits, with her face covered with the veil. When he enters – usually sent by a mass of his giggling sisters and other young-ish females – she gives him milk for virility and for strong bones (snerk x 1000). Him lifting her veil is a big moment, and then…
Well, some traditions are the same all over the world. :smiley:

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The whole go-between thing at the beginning reminds me of Korean weddings. Do they still do that? They still have it in Korea, although for the most part it’s been turned into something like dating agencies. One of the reasons I was so eager to come back to the US was to flee that whole scene before my family dragged me into that mess.

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mika I just gotta know. This "scrabblin’ in the bowl/platter of milk thing, do the bride and groom do it with there hands or do they put their faces in the milk kinda like bobbin’ for apples cause that would be waaaaaay funner to watch than just hands. :smiley: Also, they break a coconut on the bride’s feet! Dang! Those are some tough feets! She deserves presents after that. <snerk> STRONG BONES! <snerk>

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Haha. 1. They do it with their hands, though it would be funner your way. 2. I did say at her feet! Not on her feet!

So about my family. Yup, it seems pretty definite. I just talked to my brother for a half an hour. Eek.

He’s got a green card, and they don’t seem to be cancelling the sponsorship, so he’ll get his citizenship. BUT it’s going to be a long hard road for him now. He has to separate his finances and find an apartment and buy a car and get a job and they are not being straight with him, not telling him by what date he has to move out.

Ugh. I hate drama. My family always brings on the drama. Shoot me now.

ETA: Yes, Haze, if they don’t know anyone, they will still use a go-between. The go-between usually has stacks of pics of elegible young girls and boys.

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I think this exists in almost all traditional cultures. Certainly Mika’s account reminded *me *of Jewish match-making traditions; I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of similar practices in Arab culture and perhaps some African ones as well?

**Mika **-- Yikes! on the family stuff :eek: :frowning:

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The wedding details are wonderful! thanks!

And sorry about your SIL.

Thanks, SNL for the words of support. I’m doing all right-some days are better than others.
Tis friggin’ HOT out there and still no rain. It got black out and the wind picked up and it even cooled down a bit, but nothing.
went food foraging and intellect stimulating (library), have (mostly) done my homework and so can now watch the Princess Bride with #2 son! Ta!

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If they’re not cancelin’ his sponsorship, that’s good, at least. They need to be fair to your brother though mika so he can get stuff in order. :mad:

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Meeks, I love the wedding details! Thanks so much for sharing them. And I’m sorry to hear about your brother!

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I love London.

I hate UTIs.

Yep.

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Yeah, but, would you love London if you had a UTI in London? Huh? Answer that! :stuck_out_tongue:

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OK, people, well into page 2 by Monday afternoon is just too much!!!

Wow, FCM, I have those knives too. (I think we’ve talked about this before.) I like them a lot. I’ve only had them about 5 years, but it’s nice to know I’m never going to have to buy new knives again.

Cool OP, Meeks. I bought Bride and Prejudice not too long ago and have seen it several times now and listened to the director’s commentary, which gives you a pretty good intro into some Indian wedding customs. The video you linked to in last week’s MMP makes me think that I should really watch a few true Bollywood films. I could see how some scenes in B&P were Bollywood tributes, but would like to see more so that I could get more of the allusions.

So sorry about family troubles.

matt, I really liked the dream post. Isn’t it funny how wound up you can get about dream stuff. Sometime last year, I dreamt that I had decided to go back to grad school and finish my doctorate. (I stepped out in 1990 and all of the profs on my committee have moved on, retired, or died.) I know I got all worked up about having to teach again and working on my dissertation, etc. And then I was running late for class and was in a total panic. Very odd, since I decided long ago that if I ever went back to school it would be in a completely different field. Oh, and it’s March 14, 1913.

Glad the eye’s taken care of, FCM. Doesn’t it feel better? :smiley:

Had a really good day at work. Multiple things in a row went RIGHT for a change. Yay! Of course, this could change at any moment.

Got home just after 3:30 (went in way early) and am trying not to doze off because I have an appointment for a haircut in about 1/2 an hour.

There was more to comment on, but I’ve forgotten.

Back later,

GT

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Hmm. India… Korea… Israel… According to Some1, all y’all are Oriental. :stuck_out_tongue: :wink:

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I’m getting a knitted FSM! I am so excited! Thanks so much, Mama Tigs!

Herb, you are in my thoughts. Keep thinking positively!

’Mika, I loved the wedding story! And sorry to hear about your brother.

I really didn’t mean to post twice earlier; the hamsters were messing with me.

I went to Michaels today to spend the money I made on the necklace and lucked out; the clay I needed is usually 2.29 a pack and they had it on sale for 4/$5! So I was able to get almost twice as much as I had budgeted for and still get the other stuff I needed. I think I will have plenty of stock made up for the show.

Mr. SCL and I are going to SIL’s tomorrow to fight with the stoopid canopy.

FCM, glad the eye wasn’t damaged. I had a scrape on the cornea of my left eye a few years ago and it hurt like hell. Not to mention that I couldn’t open the eye. Since I am already blind in my right eye it left me helpless for a few days. No reading, no computer, no driving - nothing. I sat in the dark and felt sorry for myself.

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holy crap! almost page 3 and I haven’t even had a chance to read anything yet! wow!

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We’ve become a chatty bunch again. :smiley:

Hey zelie! Welcome back! I avoid bookstores for the same reason alcoholics avoid ABC store, The temptation is too great.

Herbs, hang in there!

[b[Meeks**, Indian weddings are interesting. Sorry about the family drama, though.

LiLi, I could go with canceling summer.

Time for a beer run before dinner.

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As long as London can get me access to antibiotics, the answer is yes, swampy! I was just there in April, and had an absolute blast, minus any bacterial infections, of course. :smiley:

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I’m for canceling summer, too. Of course, every time I complain about the heat, my mom outside of Seattle complains about having to turn on her heat again to warm her place up. :frowning: Saturday she said it was just about “up” to 60°. Just lovely, when we’re sitting here with the AC on. It seemed like spring was late this year or something; I seem to remember having the windows open much longer last year. I like fresh air. :frowning:

Googly eye stalks are done, and I’m working on meatballs. Then lots of noodly appendages and put it all together. Not to worry, I’ll take photos before sending him off to go to hockey games with SCL. :smiley:

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It’s been so long–I took a comparative Eastern religions class in college well over thirty years ago, about the same time that I was getting involved with the Sikh religion (I was a western 3HO Sikh for about 4 years in the 70s). I just really liked the stories about Ganesh and Hanuman, especially ones involving where the Gods were supposed to live, which (I think) was what is now called Sri Lanka, formerly known as Ceylon? I only remember that Ganesh took the form of an elephant and Hanuman, that of a monkey. We read from the Upanashads in the class, which also covered Buddism, Tao, and Shinto (I think! it’s been many years!).

Thanks for your good thoughts - I’m trying to be optimistic. :slight_smile:

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I managed to pull together a yummerrific supper - broiled mahi-mahi, sugar snap peas, and fried N.O.T. 'n onions. **FCD ** is doing the dishes now, and Scruffy is nagging to go out. Such is my life.

**Mika ** - sorry to hear about your brother. My bro’s ex decided one day that while she didn’t mind being married to him, she didn’t want to have to keep living with him. It didn’t end well. Not a happy situation. I hope he comes out OK.

I was in London in 1983. I had a ball, even tho I was there alone. Ah, good times…

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I think I’m going to get dinner at Panera cuz it’s just too hot to think about food and I’m hungry.