Because you made a personal commitment to join and the urge to be there with your mates is maddening? Because maybe you feel it would be worth it to spare the agony that other families are feeling if you’d not survived and their son/daughter had?
Dave, look at your wonderful family. Proud of you, supporting and believing in you. Knowing your heart and soul and moral compass are dedicated to serving. People who do things wrong get guilt. You have consistently done the things you know to be right, for reasons you felt were right. You know my point of view. We’ve knocked heads plenty over this topic- I’m no fan of the war machine or any of its mechanical accessories but I have always respected how you have presented your point of view and your career here.
Guilt is for cowards who couldn’t deal. You think you will be feeling guilt for many years? Only if you turn your back on those who are over there who come back dismembered inside and outside of their bodies who need you and your fellows. For the Long Haul.
You will always be an Airman, and so I would beg of you to cut yourself some mental slack and try to release some of the guilt. And if need be, get help to do so. Your family deserves you in one piece. YOU deserve you in one piece.
Airman Doors, I had a long post I was going to submit. But it can wait until you get back here alive. So, if you want to read it…get back here alive. I’ll be happy to share opinions when clergy with AKs and rogue Blackwaters aren’t filling the air about your ears with lead.
If it makes you feel any better, Gene Cernan felt guilty about being in the Apollo program while his friends and classmates from the military were off fighting Vietnam.
Not everyone in the military drinks the Kool-Aid. It’s a cross-section of American life, more diverse than most people in it ever experienced before. The military ‘reprograms’ you only to the extent that not doing certain things the military way and acting like a jackass is going to get people killed.