Congrats Emily, great job.
One week today for me.
Congrats! A year is hard.
A gentle suggestion. If you are still struggling to not drink, finding a support system can be a real help. A.A. works for some. If not A.A, a trusted friend, a counselor, a pastor or another recovering alcoholic. Most alcoholics and problem drinkers have some underlying issues that, if not cleared up, will make staying sober hard.
Also keep in mind that a large percentage of alcoholics go back to drinking when things get better. What tends to happen, in my experience, is that once someone quits for a while the problems they were having due to drinking get cleared up. Life gets better. So they think ‘Hey, life is good. I have it under control. A drink won’t hurt.’ The reality is that, if you really have a drinking problem, one will always hurt. So they have a drink and the old problems pop right up.
Once again, congrats. And feel free to send me a pm if you want any advice or support.
Slee
Ten years and nine months clean and sober.
P.S. Congrats Plain Jane. I’ve got ten years and that is nothing compared to a week. A week is hard.
Congradulations
Congrats from me, too. It takes the strength of insight to recognize self-damaging behaviour, and more importantly, the willpower to do something about it. I admire your fortitude so far and wish you all the best!
Good for you, EmilyG!
Thanks, all. 
PlainJane, if I can do it, you can too. Best of luck!
sleestak, most of the time it isn’t a struggle. It’s not as big of a deal as it would have been had I tried to quit drinking back when I was drinking a lot more.
I guess my drinking didn’t so much cause problems, as exacerbate existing ones.
Recently, when I’ve been out drinking with friends (I mean my friends were drinking,not me), I’ve been more open about having quit drinking. So at least my friends can try to stop me if I try to drink again. But i find that much of the time, the temptation isn’t event there.
My situation is somewhat similar to yours. Not in the sense that I was over-drinking and throwing up, but in the sense that I quit on my own, cold turkey. My problem was that I started drinking every night. Nothing outrageous - maybe 2 - 3 glasses of wine. I never got falling-down drunk, I never passed out, I never really threw up. But it was 2 - 3 glasses of wine every night. I’d wake up the next morning and think, ok, I’m not going to drink tonight. But I did. It finally got to the point where I realized that I was either addicted, or getting addicted, to it. And it scared the living crap out of me.
Like you, I finally got to the point where I just said “Enough!” I’m taking my life back. I’m not going to drink again. Ever. I didn’t do a program like AA or any support group
I don’t even remember the year I last had a drink. It was somewhere in the mid 80’s, so let’s say roughly 25 years. I don’t even think about it anymore. People drinking around me is fine. I don’t really go to bars anymore, though.
Have you gotten to this point yet? I remember after being sober for a while (maybe a year or 2, more or less) I’d wake up in the morning and think, “god, I’m glad I don’t drink anymore. I feel pretty good, and I can’t remember why I put up with feeling so lousy in the morning.”
Have you gotten to the point where, if someone offers you something alcoholic to drink, you can just calmly say, “I don’t drink”?
Or have you gotten to the point where everyone knows you don’t drink, and don’t offer you alcohol anymore?
Maybe you have, or maybe these are things to look forward to.
I applaud you on your decision and your actions. Keep it up! We’re both examples that you don’t need an official “program” to stop drinking. By all means, though, it is a good idea to have a “buddy” to talk to when you need it.
Congratulations!
J.
Thanks for sharing your story and advice, jharvey963.
Yes, I am glad I don’t drink, although if I put it that way, it almost sounds judgmental of those who do drink (which I’m not.)
What I plan to tell my friends who ask about it is, instead of telling them “I don’t drink,” is “I had to quit drinking.” That way it isn’t about other people drinking or not - it’s about me, about what I personally did for myself.
Hm, if I heard that, my next question would be “Oh, why did you have to quit drinking?”, which you may or may not mind answering. Personally, I’d leave it at “I don’t drink” which would decrease the chances of opening up this line of conversation.
I don’t know anyone who would take “I don’t drink” as a comment toward a third party’s behaviour, unless you made it a point to stress the “I” while glaring at them.
Congratulations! and may you continue with your sobriety! It takes a special person to realize they have a problem and be able to correct it. Great job!
That’s a good point, Saturn.
Thanks, all.
Thats fantastic! I’m 4 years sober last october. Two milestones I remember for me that maybe you have had or will have to look forward to.
1: I remember the first time I realized the next day that I hadn’t even thought about drinking the day before, even once.
2: The first time I was thinking about a particularly shitty day, really really rough, crappy day. Mulling over everything that happened in my mind and realized that again, not ONCE during that shitty day did it even occur to me to go buy alcohol or drink. That’s when I KNEW I was going to be ok. Honestly, I think I was over 2 years into sobriety before that happened.
Congratulations! It does get easier with time.
Good going!
Congratulations, the first year is tough! When people offer me a drink, I just tell them “No thanks, I’m allergic. Fifteen or twenty drinks and my eyes try to look in three different directions, then I throw up and fall down.”
Dante (20 years sober)
My line is:
“No thanks, I am allergic. When I drink I break out in handcuffs.”
I usually get a couple blinks then a puzzled look. And then a laugh.
As far as telling people goes, it seems to be a big deal for the newly sober. I vaguely remember being a bit uncomfortable about it when I quit but I soon realized that a) if I don’t drink it isn’t anyone (except my family and wife) business why I don’t drink and b) anyone who pushes me to drink when I have told them I don’t is someone I don’t need to be around. I do use the allergic line when it is someone who I am not comfortable talking about my alcoholism with, I just drop the handcuffs bit.
I do want to comment about something EmilyG said which is
That is awesome. I don’t have the temptation and haven’t in years. However, one thing that I do have is a plan in case the temptation comes back. And that is, in my opinion, a huge thing to have. My plan is quite simple, if I feel the urge to drink I am going to run my butt down to the nearest A.A. newcomer meeting, preferably in the worst part of town. I don’t go to many A.A. meetings these days, mainly when I have some sort of stress that I know may get my thinking out of whack. Anyway, my plan is simple, get with people who can help and also remind myself why I quit.
You see, it is easy to forget, after a while, exactly how bad life was when I was drinking. I have to remind myself of the horrors I brought upon myself and my family/friends. And I have to remind myself how good life is now.
If I forget I’ll drink. And if I drink I will be go right back to that horrid place. So I make sure I never forget how bad it was or how good it is now. That is why I donate to the halfway house I lived in when I first got sober. That is why I still hit newcomer meetings from time to time. That is why I pay for newbies first week in the halfway house. It helps me keep myself healthy.
Slee
Curiousity about the “clean” part of “clean & sober” (had no idea what it meant) led me to some searching and reading. Admittedly I’m the antithesis of clean and sober, but I think it’s great for people to determine and practice whatever works best for the.
More congrats, Em! (Do people call you that IRL?)
Something I said in the past, when someone asked, “why did you have to quit drinking?”
“It got to be too important to me.”
J.
Brilliant response. Just enough info to let the questioner know when to stop.
Congratulations.
You were lucky. Like most people, I had to lose almost everything before I came to the realization that I could not go on another minute. The first few months were a nightmare, the first year was really tough, and it’s gotten easier since, but not a week goes by when my mind tries to convince me that I can drink without any of the old adverse consequences. I can’t, of course.
Congratulations EmilyG. Being overweight, I just smile at people and say “It’s calories I don’t need.” and they leave me to my water.