I would guess that somehow the order of headlines on the Reuters page suggested to the OP that their priorities were comically misplaced, but since the arrangement of the page has since been updated, this no longer applies.
Prolly something along the lines of, “I find several of Reuters’ real-life headlines just now to be imitative of the Onion’s own peculiar brand of humor, such that I hereby propose ironically that the Onion should sue Reuters for plagiarism.”
It’s only Onion-ish if you read the headlines a certain way. Otherwise, it really ain’t that funny.
I’m slamming Reuters, not making light of the hell that is New Orleans. These headline writers sound like PR-flack spindoctors who haven’t read a newspaper or turned on a radio or TV in a month. What’s next? Water Doesn’t Dampen New Orleans Spirit?
Well, aside from the merest hint of a pun in “food stucks thin”, and it has to be forced, none of those headlines strike me as unusual. Certainly the Onion didn’t originate the style of multi-word headlines.