I am so upset, I am never invited to birthday parties or weddings of people at my church and I am the only one not invited. Once again a girl at my church had a birthday party at a restaurant last night and invited everyone in my church group except me. She made a facebook status thanking everyone for coming and tagged everyone in my church group. I am upset that once again I was the only one not invited
It’s your bad breath, Marge.
If everybody is neglecting to invite you to events, then you need to figure out what you are doing (or not doing) to make them act that way.
In fairness to the OP, she probably doesn’t know why.
Perhaps the thing to do would be to quietly approach the kindest group member and politely ask for their honest advice?
"I have a bit of a delicate question to ask you. I am a bit hurt to find that everyone in the church group gets invited to events like <xyz> but I don’t. I’d really appreciate your honesty with me, if you have any idea why I’m not getting included in the invitations?’
But if you’re going to do that, you’ve got to be prepared to hear the truth, and it might not be nice.
My advice, give yourself enough time to get over your hurt and then ask her. “What is it I am doing that makes everyone exclude me? And why do they feel free to chat about the event in front of me, having excluded me? Do thy think I just don’t care about them?”
Another point is that in some circles, you have to invite to be invited. If you have never had them over to your home, or invited them to a party you hosted at a restaurant, then they have no obligation at all to include you.
One thing that can be very helpful is to go to the library and look for books on social skills. Just read through them and see if anything strikes you. There may be some clue as to an action you have taken or not taken, or a rule you’ve simply never heard before.
Good luck! I fully understand your pain. I have come to accept that while I do my best to be a good friend and citizen, I am just not everybody’s cup of tea. Fortunately there are places like this, where “insufferable know-it-all” translates to “one of us.”
You need to have a talk with your Pastor. He is probably aware of some dynamic you aren’t and would be the logical place to start.
While this might be a good thread, remember that this is a poster who joined yesterday, has only 1 post as of now and is posting about a drama-filled situation. Not the first time this has happened.
The really hard part is that it’s JESUS’S birthday party! :mad:
Does the pastor tell you, ‘Jesus… likes you. As a friend.’?
I am going to close this. It appears to be posted verbatim across multiple boards.