Jarbaby, if the mister is gonna go for a ride-along, let me know and I’ll drive up…that I’ve got to see.
-ts [sub]Who votes for you kicking the guy in the pills next time you see him, then shrugging innocently like he did.[/sub]
jarbaby,
I’ve been pissed off since I read this earlier, so I’ll tell you my little story about what happened to me and hope it brings you a little bit if vicarious satisfaction.
On one of my trips to Mexico, my friends and I were dancing, the floor slightly raised from the rest of the bar. We, too, had had the temerity to wear skirts, and the three guys who were in front of us saw it justified to try to help themselves to a grope. The first time it happened, I glared at the guy and yelled at him to cut it out, which his friends found hilarious. We tried to move some to avoid them but ended up at the same place later, and the guy did it again. I yanked away, and he quickly went in for a third try.
What happened next felt like watching somebody else, as I’m usually a very non-violent person. Without even thinking, I turned to steady myself on one foot, and kicked the guy square in the jaw.
I don’t know what was better, the feel of the contact of my shoe on the guy’s face or the looks on his friends’ faces.
I know that sounds mean, but this person repeatedly grabbed me and laughed at my warnings. My friends thought I was crazy, as he could have well thought nothing of hitting me back, but nonetheless I felt a great surge of pride at defending myself. Also, I didn’t see them bothering any other girls the rest of the night.
I know it’s not the same as what happened to you. As you and others have mentioned, the shock and surprise of these kinds of attacks can render one unable to react. But hopefully we can feel a little better knowing some of these jerks do get what they deserve. 
We don’t have the El here in my small town. The closest approximation is the bus that takes the old ladies to the senior center.
Ogling them gets old (no pun intended), after the first dozen times or so.
jarb: Move from Chicago to New York City. Mayor Giuliani takes OUR subway gropers and crucifies them in Battery Park.
They’re over there in the southwest corner, near the windshield washing men, and Missus Giuliani.
SeaDiver: That doesn’t sound mean of you at all. I’m sure there were a lot of other women there who’d have happily helped arrange a conga line so that everybody has a chance to kick that fucker in the chin. Afterwards, maybe we could give Jarbaby’s L-perv a turn.
Jarbaby,
I’m sorry about what happened to you. No one has the right to do that. Is it the first time something like that has happened? The first time something like that happened to me, I was lucky. I had keys, I said something I never thought I could ever say, and I was in a club with some friends and a bouncer.
Years ago when I was quite young, I went to a club with some friends. To keep the story short, a creepy guy was following me around and finally felt it necessary to come up on my left side and grab a feel with his right hand. I’m left-handed, and for some reason I can’t remember, I had my keys in my left hand. I was in college, and ever since that time, I’ve had a LOT of keys. I reflexively back-handed the guy with the keys (I was holding on to the key fob, the keys hit him square in the face). He was probably shit-faced and started calling me the usual names guys do when they don’t like what girls do.
Now normally when someone does something I don’t expect, my best response is a silent stare. But for some reason this particular act enraged me, and I yelled at him:
"You have no right to call me names when you do something to me you have no permission to do. Maybe your mother likes it when you do that, but the rest of us don’t!"
:eek:
I have no idea where that came from, but it stopped even Shit-Faced Creep in his tracks. And then my male friends and the bouncers noticed something developing and out the guy went.
So, in my experience, keys and mom-related insults work well in limited encounters. Actually taking the time to report the incident to the proper authorities would probably work better, if you want to “pay it forward” and (hopefully) prevent other women from having to go through the same creepiness you did, because if those guys aren’t taken up on that behavior, they just keep doing it.
That SUCKS!
My oogy and gross story…
Sitting on a stool in a bar in Red Deer, with a few girlfriends. Wearing, thankfully, jeans and a light sweater. I was watching the dancers on the dance floor, and all of a sudden feel a hand from the right on my crotch, and another hand reaching from the left around and squeezing my right breast. Hard.
I didn’t even look to see who it was. I swung around and punched him so hard I sprained my wrist and dislocated my shoulder. His nose started to bleed, and my girlfriends wrestled him over to the security guy who was running across the bar to my rescue.
The bouncers took him outside and roughed him up a bit, banned him from the bar for life. My girlfriend’s husband tracked him down a few weeks later (Red Deer has a very small population) and beat the shit out of him. I saw him a month later in the grocery store wearing a sling.
I felt sorry that there was violence involved after the fact, but felt strangely vindicated when I learned that he had to leave town. Apparently in the small city, this guy had been my room-mate’s room-mate in college, and had done shit like this to a lot of women.
I’d never seen the guy before. I felt very unsafe going out in public after that, and I’m not a squoogy girl. I have a guy offering to ‘rough someone up’ for me, and I say no thanks, I can handle it. But damn it, he took away my safety factor, and it took a long time to get it back.
Rambling over. Jarbaby, I hope you kick him in the nads if ever you see him again. Fuckwad.
Ginger
Frank Purdue? :rolleyes:
Seriously, it doesn’t MATTER that she wasn’t physically assaulted by your definition. Personally, I take any contact that is unwanted as a physical assault. No, I’m not talking about the inevitable brush-bys that happen in a crowded train, plane or movie theatre, where one person inadvertently brushes by you and mutters a quick, “sorry” or “excuse me”.
I’m talking about what was done to jarbaby. Being stared down like a slab of fresh halibut is oogy. Having someone other than the highly esteemed Mr jarbaby shove his dirtmitts up your dress is assault.
Men like that need to be assaulted, by someone who makes them feel as shocked and vulnerable as you felt at that moment. :mad: God…this is coming from ME, the devout pacifist. Thank god my daughter already made her Black Belt. I hope she somehow has the ability to not freeze up when it happens. And I know men, so many are predators that can’t keep the juice under control. Animals. I understand freezing, I used to when I was beaten up. I’ve no clue how to emotionally prepare my daughter for this, but I know she’s got the tools to extremely badly injure an assailant.
Cartooniverse
Cartoon, if you daughter is a black belt, my guess is that training will overcome initial emotional reactions. That’s what all that training does: enable you to react without having to think.
jar, sorry that happened. Even with me being mild mannered, I think (no one can tell until it happens to them) I’d probably have turned around and yelled “What the f*** do you think you’re doing, you motherf*****”. :eek Where’d that language come from?!
My own oogy and gross story.
It was 7:45 a.m. and I was walking alone across campus from my assigned parking to the main library, crossing a little pedestrian mall area where there are stone tables and benches. A homeless guy - the long, matted beard and hair, the filthy clothes, the mumbling under his breath, the stench, the whole deal - came up to me and grabbed my arm and started talking urgently about lights. (I couldn’t really understand what he was saying.) I tried to yank my arm away and couldn’t - strong grip, plus he was twice my size - so I said something like, “Please let go of my arm and leave me alone.” He grabbed my breast through my shirt and then yanked up my skirt. I screamed and froze, which is unfortunately my standard reaction to strong fear - total rabbit-in-the-headlights syndrome. He dragged me to the wall a couple feet away, full-body-rubbed himself on me a few times, and messed with my clothes some more before I pulled myself together and got away from him.
Now, here’s what gets me: there were four guys, clearly students, sitting together on those stone benches. They were having early morning coffee. And they thought the whole thing was just hysterical, really funny: hey, see the girl get forcibly groped. (The only guy facing me pointed it out and called something like “Man, check this out,” to make sure his buddies didn’t miss the joke.) They were still laughing when I ran away; I could tell I’d made their morning. Assholes.
The thing is, the homeless guy was obviously just crazy and drunk. I don’t like what he did, I don’t think he should’ve been wandering free around the campus, and I’m still scared to think what would’ve happened if I hadn’t unfrozen. But almost a decade later, what makes me mad is the laughter of the onlookers.
(Btw, when I reported it to the campus cops, they said “Yeah, we’ve had a buncha reports like that. Probably the same guy. You really shouldn’t be walking alone on campus, y’know.” Excuse me? What was I supposed to do? The campus cops wouldn’t provide an escort service if it was light out, and I had to get around campus somehow. My parents weren’t paying for me to go to college so I could hide in my room.)
Another story…
It was wintertime in Minesota, and my girlfriend was waiting inside the door of the bar while I walked out to the parking lot to get the car. I start the car and pull back to the door. The door flies open and some drunken, hippie-lookin’ dude comes flying out with my girlfriend hot on his heels. She catches him by the railing and proceeds to slap, rip and tear on the guy. I jump out of the car just as the guy gets loose and runs off into the night. I run over to her and ask what all that was about. She yells, “That fucker grabbed my crotch!” Then her anger wore off and she started to cry.
I wish she would’ve ripped his eyes out. I wish I would’ve been closer. Fuckin sumbitch.
Jarbabyj, that sucks, here’s to knowing the cumsponge gets his soon.
matt_mcl turns red with shame
One time I was in the metro and I saw a lady get up and give an old man her seat. He sat down and grabbed her breast on the way down. She looked miffed. Ok, so maybe it was an accident. But then he sort of leered and grabbed the other one.
I stood rooted to the spot. My brain just totally seized. Total rabbit-in-the-headlights moment. The lady sort of harrumphed and moved to the other side of the train, and he kept leering at her. I got off at the next station.
I wish I had had the presence of mind to say something.
further shame
Jesus Christ, there are some sick people in the world. Eww. I’ve never been groped in public (well, I was, but it was more of a mutual thing), so I don’t have a story to tell myself.
And while I would most gladly lay hands on fine ladies such as jarbabyj and Seadiver, I’d make damn sure I ask first. Especially Seadiver - I value my pretty face too much.
(That was self-depreciating sarcasm, folks, before someone starts a Pit Thread about Coldfire the Vain Bastard)
Practice, jarbabyj, practice.
It’s always easy to come up with the great response you SHOULD’VE made after the fact. The shock of the incident keeps you from being able to come up with it at the time.
My suggestion? Practice a really vicious stomp to be aimed at the pervert’s instep. A downward stomp is easy to do, and you can really put a lot of power into it. Lift that knee up high, and bring that foot down hard.
Sure, a kick in the 'nads might have more panache and intrinsic appeal, but it is much harder to implement effectively. Also, it would be much harder to claim that it was an “accident” (like his little “Who, me?”) act about the groping.
Sorry about that — it creeped me out just HEARING about it.
The natural reaction of almost all women - or men - to being assaulted is just to freeze, or maybe just yell at most. It’s a pretty normal thing. Almost no one has the split-second presence of mind to react properly and physically to prevent further molestation or to pay the attacker back. A lot of people will post they do certain things, and seem really brave and oh-so cool, but come on. We know what real life is. Real life is freezing up, doing all of the exact wrong things, and being beaten and raped by two men on the bed of a pickup truck on a lonely dirt road one cold, Autumn night. Just like me!
I just hope I have the presence of mind to fucking execute the next persons that try that. Unless the Democrats manage to take my guns away, and then it will be a moot point I guess.
Isn’t it funny how quickly a life can be destroyed? 17 years and it still hurts, burns, makes me feel weak and helpless.
No, I’m not bitter. I just want vengeance. I would kill them if I had the opportunity. Take their lives, make their families cry. Of course, these are just words on a screen. For all I know I would just do the wrong thing again.
hardygrrl checks in with an oogy and gross…
Years ago when I was working retail. I was covering third shift (11:00 pm -7am). It was about three am and I was the only person in the front end of the store-all the stock guys were in the aisles.
Gross drunk guy comes staggering in to buy a pack of gum. I ring him up and try to get him out since I see he has a ride waiting outside. Plus I was afraid he was going to pass out/puke.
He start telling me that I’m cute. My response? “Thank you. Have a nice day.”
He then grabs me by the shoulders and starts trying to pull me closer to him,lips puckered. I immediately,without thinking,punch him as hard as I can in the throat.
And I don’t hit like a girl either.
By the time the stock guys figured out something was wrong,drunk guy was in a heap on the floor. The security footge clearly proved I acted in self defense.
AHAHAHAHAAHAHHhahahAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Una, I apologize, I mentioned that it wasn’t the same thing, since I had time to stew and be pissed off before I reacted. I don’t know how lucky I’d be if I had to rely on quick instinct to react to a sudden bad situation. I wasn’t so much trying to sound cool as just throwing in a story about getting back at one of the many jerks that subject others to things we most certainly do not deserve. I’m sorry if I offended you or anyone.
Sea - why apologize? You didn’t offend me in any way, I was only bothered by the topic in general, and it stewed and exploded out.
Oh, I see, your post. Well, to tell the truth, I hadn’t read it in detail. Well, it didn’t have anything to do with my post, and I think it’s pretty cool what you were able to do. You must be pretty damn flexible to that too!