Oooh, I really, really hate squirrels!

Here it is 2:17am, and the fucking squirrels are back–gnawing on my attic. About a month ago the little bastards chewed a hole under the eaves, and I haven’t been able to eradicate the bastards since. I patched the hole–they chewed another one while I was at work. I put out squirrel poison–and a couple died, but more returned. I put wire mesh over where they had been chewing their way in–they went around it. I sprayed squirrel repellant containing capsaicin all over the place–they ignored it.


I can hear those little bushy-tailed vermin scampering around right now.

My attic can be accessed only through a trap door in my hallway, so I can’t readily just pop up and grease the little motherfuckers when I hear them; they hear me coming and take off. I can’t leave the trap door open because I live in Minnesota and all the heat would escape.

I used to think that squirrels were cute. Not anymore. They serve no purpose in the city, so why not kill 'em all? We have mosquito control programs. I want a squirrel control program!

Wormer, dead! Niedermeyer, dead! Squirrels, dead!

Thanks Ruadh, I needed that.

Squirrels…they’re not just for breakfast anymore.

I love squirrels
<img src= alt=“drawing of me with a squirrel”>
They’re so cute! How can you hate them??

Teeming Millions:
“Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat
O p a l C a t

Easily. I hate them easily. Other than providing targets for kids with slingshots, I see no value in squirrels whatsoever.

A pox upon them!

My sig line and my pants are officially offended.

Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

Think: Harvard Live Traps. Available through the better hardware & outdoors stores everywhere.

We used ours to get rid of our problem with flying squirrels in our crawlspace years ago, & they work great!

Save The Endangered Jackalope! Send Cash Now! If You Do This, I Will Use The Cash To Save Any Jackalope That I Happen To Find! Send Cash Now! Before It’s Too Late! My Bills, I Mean The Jackalope’s Bills Are Due The 15th Of The Month!
This has been a message from the Illuminated Committee To Save The Jackalope. Fnord.

Of course, you aren’t going to let your hatred for squirrels affect friendships, right? looks over at Sqrl…

-Just kidding… I know it wouldn’t…

-Wash, Rinse, Maim. (Um… maybe I should change my sig line…)


I just caught one in a rat trap! He was very pleasingly squashed.

Why live trap 'em when I can mangle 'em? :slight_smile:

Gnaw, I mean, naw, it wouldn’t affect my friendships, unless Sqrl begins chewing on my house.

Gosh, Rysdad! How can a person have so much unrelenting hatred for a small, harmless, forest creature?


Elmer J. Fudd,
I own a mansion and a yacht.

Squirrels are rats with bushy tails.

We have to thin out the herd. They’re everywhere!

This space for rent.

What is wrong with rats? I have had them as pets and they are sweet. Killing harmless animals is just lame and sad.

Teeming Millions:
“Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat
O p a l C a t

Uh, Opal, you did say “harmless,” right?

I don’t kill harmless animals, but I actually take a little pleasure in exterminating pests.

Squirrels and wild rats are not harmless, Opal. They carry disease and do alot of damage.

They are pests. They should die.

I don’t believe anyone could logically argue otherwise.

Let me clarify…

City squirrels and city rats should die.

Little woodland creatures are fine where they are.

Personally i’m just waiting for one of the tourists or locals to get bit by the local ground squirrels at the beach. Squirrels are carriers of rabies. TOO many people feed them. They just become dependant on people, and can bite you when you feed them by hand (i hate the squirrels at the beach, they will crawl ON You looking for food).

I remember the last time I was at the beach a Family was feeding them with M&M’s by hand. I reminded them they can bite and can carry rabies. Suffice to say they stopped immediately. It’s also against the law here IIRC.

Living in the country…believe it or not…we don’t have the problem quite as bad. Must be all the free room squirrels have to roam…plus…having a dog believe it or not keeps them away from the house. I don’t hate squirrels but I have absolutely no love lost for them either. I’ve had friends with your same problem…it’s hard to get rid of them once they start coming in.

I think they occupy a neccessary niche in our ecology. I also think they are cute.

And yes, I’ve fed squirrels by hand many times (the drawing above is one I did from a photograph of me and a squirrel) and while I wouldn’t do it if there was a rabies outbreak in the area, there never has been in that area so :stuck_out_tongue:

Teeming Millions:
“Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat
O p a l C a t

There isn’t a niche for squirrels in the city; they only do damage. They may serve a purpose in the country–if only serving as a food source for predators.

I’ve put up a stronger version of steel mesh, and they haven’t been back.

Actually, there already is a pox upon them. Squirrel pox is a relatively common disease.

For more info see this site

Be warned: There’s a moderately gross picture of a dead infected squirrel on the page, but it sounds like you might dig that, Rys.

If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I’d be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.