Quarry - The Cereal Made From Rocks
New Shimmer - Its a Floor Wax AND a desert topping
Little Chocolate Donuts - Belushi, sitting at the breakfast table, eating little chocolate donuts and smoking a cigarette - a real classic
I can’t recall the bottled water’s name, but it came from the East River and was as thick as motor oil. It had old band aids, bottle caps, etc. floating in it and they played the song “Anticipation” as they poured it (ala’ the ketchup commercial).
The Play With Yourself Card (instead of Player’s Club Card)
Puppy Uppers and Doggie Downers
My favourite of the current parodies is the lawyer that sues dogs. Other favourites of the past:
- Clear gravy
- Colon Blow cereal
- Adobe, the car made out of clay
- The series of spots for the bank that only gives out change.
Yes, they did. IIRC, the line they used to describe it was something like the first blade lifts, the second cuts, and the third makes it more expensive.
I saw a reference to this a few years later on an MTV interview with Queensryche. They had just played Castle Donnington in England, and the reporter asked how they thought the show went. One by one, every band member said “I loved it. It was better than Cats.”
I have a few. “Monkey Butler” was pretty cool, but I think my favorite was the credit card commercial with Phil Hartman and Roseanne Barr. Where she’s the pissed-off representative on the telephone when Phil loses his card. But no matter what she says, Phil’s lines in the commercial indicate great customer service.
RB: I said, why don’t you have your company wire you the money? Or why don’t you take a personal check outta your checkbook, roll it up real tight, and cram it?!
PH: She gave me several options. And, well, everything worked out alright.
This was called Swill. Bill Murray was the spokesperson for that “product”.
Those were called Action Cats!
The robot insurance one still kills me.
This is an old one…
It’s a dessert topping!
No, silly! It’s a floor wax!
New Shinola. It’s a dessert topping and a floor wax.
I liked the Little Chocolate Donuts (and still use references to that commercial whenever eating them) as well as the Michael Jordan douche commercial (and wasn’t there a similar one with a baseball player host for “pine tar” application to your, umm, bat?).
But by far my favorite one, and one I haven’t seen mentioned yet, was the Adam Sandler/Chris Farley Schmidt’s Beer ad. Such a complete and total parody of the usual beer ad. Hilarious.
Czarcasm Yes I do. Do you remember Placenta Helper?
Oak Man it was Dan Akroyd who did the bass-o-matic and ummmm that’s good bass.
Oh geez, I can’t believe I forgot this one! Right after “I can’t believe it’s not butter” came out they had an ad for “It’s Not Yogurt!” Funny as hell.
“Hey, this is tasty! What is it?”
“It’s not yogurt!”
“Okay, well what is it then?”
“It’s NOT yogurt.”
“You said that … but what?”
“It’s not YOGURT.”
“Come on, this isn’t funny. I’m allergic to a lot of stuff. What’s in it??”
“It’s not yogurt!”
“Litter Critters”.
Colorful kitty litter for turning cat waste into kids’ art . (“Look, Mommy, I made a whistle” as the little girl puts the kitty litter sculpture to her lips. EEEWWWW!)
That would be Schmidt’s Gay. Adam Sandler & Chris Farley were housesitting and once they opened up some Schmidt’s Gay or something lots of hunky gay guys started appearing in the pool, playing volleyball, playing horsey, you get the picture. Damn funny.
Also gotta love the Calvin Klein ad parody of “Compulsion” -for people with OCD. Jan Hooks ran around compulsively cleaning her house, vacumming behind people as they’re dancing, etc.
>New “Shimmer” - It’ a floor wax…no, it’s a dessert topping! No - new “Shimmer” is a dessert topping AND a floorwax.
>How about Velvet Jones advertisement for his new book, “I Wanna be a Ho?”
>How about the Galactic Profilactic?
>Maybe the ad for the Album, Buckwheat Sings - “Unce… tice… fee times a mady!”
Gotta love Three-Legged Jeans and Schmidt’s Gay!
Another one is the breath freshener/pepper spray. The little switch distinguishes between the two functions. Sea green for breath freshener, turquoise for pepper spray.
Def Magic Jam
Chris Rock parody of the Def Comedy Jam–showed people in the audience jumping up and down screaming and yelling while the “magician” up on stage pulls a rabbit out of his hat, every other word getting bleeped out. Tag line: “That is one F#$%ed up magic show!!”–Quincy Jones"
Big Red
Kids sitting around bored when in jumps Big Red, some viking type guy. Toy is a viking head that you pour red liquid into, then turn it on and it sprays red stuff all over the place…dad gets squirted while reading the paper and just smiles and shakes head. Theme song is just too funny…“you pour in the goop/In the helmet…” while the viking horns blare. Of course, then you can by the Big Red clean up kit (sold separately).
Pre-Chewed Charlie’s
An OLD restaurant commercial maybe even from the first season…Dan Ackroyd is the huckster, I believe. It’s as gross as it sounds. There is also an old restaurant one where you pick out the cow you want to eat and Gilda Radner is standing there with a chain saw ready to get to cuttin’…can’t remember the tag line.
Also loved Action Cats, Little Chocolate Donuts and Oops, I Crapped my Pants. Almost any commercial with Phil Hartman was hilarious. (miss ya, Phil!!)
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Geez, these are all good ones but my personal favorites are:
[ul]
[li]The robot-attack insurance spot[/li][li]The Royal Deluxe II circumcision[/li][li]Hi Opal! :)[/li][li]Velvet Jones’ Harlequin Romances (“I looked deep into her eyes and I knew the $3 I had spent on wine would not go to waste. . .”)[/li][li]Compound F (?), the ointment for getting rid of extra fingers (“You’ve tried sawing them off, slamming them off, and mitts just cover the problem. . .”)[/li][li]Quarry breakfast cereal, the only breakfast cereal made from rocks (“Better tasting 'cause it’s mined!”)[/li][/ul]
Yer pal,
Zappo
About the only thing I’ve seen on SNL in the last 7 years or so that I actually laughed at was the comercial for Interbank,the travelers check company with an elite special police force. (Inaccurate but basic idea, quote following)“Not only does Interbank refund your money, It finds the criminal and beats him senseless and burn his house. Then they find his parents house and burn it down too.”
All the above are good.
Another good one is…
Coldcock: The quicker malt liquor.
Tim Meadows as Billy Dee Williams getting punched by the fist on the can. Great stuff.
I can’t believe I forgot…there was this fake perfume commercial with a guy and a dog running toward each other, into one another’s arms/forelegs and…well, you get the picture. And the tag line was something like “Obsession for dogs, by Calvin Klein.”
Zappo:
I think that one was called “Handi-off.” Victoria Jackson was in it, right?
Zappo, I couldn’t help but notice your sig line…did you once post here under another name?
Chaim Mattis Keller
“You’ve just had a grueling day of electro-shock therapy. Wouldn’t a nice, cold beer taste good right about now?”
OOOOOOOOOOOO - SPUD!
Spud Beer. The Beer that made Boise famous.