Opinions...2nd try

In My Humble Opinion
241

So? Other people’s misinformed opinions are their own problem, aren’t they? Why do you (the generic you, not *you *you) care what random strangers think unless you’re insecure about it yourself? I think Freudian Slit is right.

That t-shirt wouldn’t offend me or anything, but I’d probably think it was pretty immature if I saw a grown adult wearing it. And yeah, I’d think that they were insecure.

I know the deal with the symmetry=attractiveness theory, but I think facial attractiveness is still somewhat a matter of personal opinion. I actually tend to agree with Spoons that he looks pretty average to me (face-wise I mean) - no better or worse looking than most of the guys I see around me. Obviously, thanks to the symmetry deal, he’s far from being hideous or anything, but he gets a resounding ‘meh’ from this heterosexual female. Clearly that’s just a matter of personal taste since so many people in this thread *do *seem to find him notably good-looking. But hell, I’ve been known to be attracted to guys that nobody else finds remotely appealing, so what do I know?

242

What’s with the tan?

243

Not when they impose them, uninvited, on other people. Even worse when they do it to strangers.

Because it’s as annoying as hell to be somewhere with my husband - a store, a park, a concert, whatever - and have some ninny come up to me and ask me, point blank, things like:

  • why did you marry someone who can’t have sex? Are you gay? Are you really married?

  • when are you going to get rid of him and get you a man who can give you babies?

  • you’re not too young to divorce him a get a real man

These are all comments I have actually received, completely unsolicited, from either complete strangers or people who barely know me or my husband. They are rude, intrusive, and inexcusable. I care because it’s an invasion of our privacy. I care because there are busy-bodies who have tried to break up our relationship because they felt I could do better, or that they had my best interests in mind.

I care because those random strangers can make my life uncomfortable. Because in some instances they won’t shut the fuck up and leave me (and sometimes us) alone. Because it fucking hurts the person I love when he overhears shit like that. Because it hurts me.

If they just thought it and left me the hell along I wouldn’t give a damn but they don’t. They INSIST on vomiting it all over us, intruding into our lives like the worst sort of telemarketer with a phone stuck on redial of your number.

I’m sorry if you can’t understand how often I’ve received comments like that, or how hurtful they can be. Sometimes, the biggest handicap a disabled person faces is NOT what isn’t working it’s other peoples’ attitudes.

So when I see Jamie wearing that shirt I don’t think “what an immature tool” I think "Oh, boy - you’ve had to go through that shit, too, and “keep being an uppity gimp instead of a saint”. Granted, that’s NOT the majority view here, but then, I’m not in the majority. I married a cripple. That doesn’t mean I’m going to take crap from random strangers all meek and silent. One of the ways the disabled are infantalized in our culture is denying they have a sexuality. It’s disgusting and I’d like it to stop. It’s also sad that people don’t see the shirt as commentary on the nosey - he got that question so many times he got sick of saying “It still works” so he got a shirt that says it for him. But hey, maybe you just don’t get the joke. Maybe you have to either be disabled, or love someone disabled, to get a grip on why it’s so damn funny as well as so sad.

Used to work with a man who had a t-shirt saying “Don’t shout. I’m blind, not deaf”. Would you call him insecure as well? Or is it just because Jaime’s is related to sex that it’s so taboo?

244

I would say you are ok, physically.

The two things that would turn me off are these:
The tattoo- I’m not a fan in general but that it’s an astrological sign makes me question the person’s intellect. I really, really like smart guys and astrology doesn’t strike me as a thinking person’s passion.

The other thing is the body building. My brother was into bodybuilding… And I discovered the “joy” of protein farts. Now when I see a bodybuilder, my first thought is the bad smell. I don’t know if the protein farts are common, but they were in his group of friends. It was absolutely vile. The way a guy smells is a huge turn on for me as well. This is why someone I think is a stinky guy will not get a second look from me.

245

He got it in Rio.

246

Nic Cage put on a bear suit to punch a woman and rescue a child. Your argument is invalid.

247

I’ll be honest and I hope you won’t think badly of me for it. When you asked above if we would have any problems with dating someone in a wheelchair, this actually was my first worry. Whilst I wouldn’t assume non-function automatically, I would actually wonder about it and, eh…yeah, that would affect how date-able someone was - and more than anything else chair-related at that. So I think the shirt is both funny and probably a smart move.

248

If nothing else, the shirt would tend to weed out those who don’t share Jamie’s sense of humor.

249

No, I *get *it. Of course I get it, it’s not exactly complicated. I just don’t share the sense of humour that says that’s funny.

I’m sorry that people have made rude comments to you, and I agree that those kind of comments are completely inappropriate. But your problem is with a small subset of people who have no filter and must share their rude thoughts - unfortunately those people exist. I’m not saying that it’s okay for those people to say that stuff, and I’m not saying you (or the OP) should just grin and bear it - saying something right back to them would be perfectly appropriate. But it would be inappropriate for you to sit in the park and yell “yeah, my husband’s dick works, and it’s fantastic!” to anybody who just happened to look your way. That’s the equivalent of what the OP’s shirt is doing, IMHO. It’s letting everyone in on his sex life when the fact is that most people probably don’t really care or want to be involved.

Obviously opinions vary on this. Obviously both you and the OP think the shirt is downright hilarious. And that’s your right. Like I said, I wouldn’t be offended or even really care if I saw someone wearing that. But the OP asked for opinions about his appearance and the way a person dresses is a part of that, so I think opinions about the shirt are fair game. Presumably the OP realizes that wearing a shirt with a slogan like that sends a certain message about his personality.

I think shirts with references to your dick are really for the teenage/college set only (and kind of lame even then), but then I also think that a persons sex life is not really an appropriate topic for conversations with relative strangers. I know that opinion is not shared by everyone.

250

I dated a girl for several years and we lived together for two. In that time, she was asked several times (by strangers or those that barely knew her) if she was with me “before my accident”. People assumed that she would not have started dating me if I had been in a wheelchair. I even got the question a few times myself. “So you two were together before your accident, right?” No! Wtf?!

251

The thing between personality and facial features is that they interact. Your focus on pseudo perfect proportions dont take that into account when it’s a major factor on how somone “looks”. Basically, keep the same features on a test subject (for a virtual experiment in your mind, that is) swap his personality with someone else, and he will/would look “different”.
And confidence will often trump good facial features for gals, in my experience at least (and therefore, in my opinion).

252

…

[QUOTE=Argent Towers]
Based only on your face…
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Argent Towers]
All of that is separate from your face, though. As I said, your face, alone,
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Argent Towers]
Jamie - totally regardless of anything he has posted, any aspects of his personality, his wheelchair, or anything else about what kind of a man he is - has a face with…
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Argent Towers]
Basically just that a guy’s personality seems to me to matter more to women than his looks…really it’s the more abstract qualities like confidence, power, social status, humor, knowing the right things to say, etc…
[/QUOTE]

253

Ignorance fought on the tanning thing! I didn’t know it wasn’t a genuine Jersey Shore-esque thing.

It’s obvious from your posts that you spend a lot of time at gyms. Every gym rat I’ve seen (smelled?) was doused in scent. I’m not talking about while working out, I mean just as a part of their normal wear.

254

Well I can’t comment on other gym-goers but I don’t use aftershave at all (I use an electric shaver) and when I do where cologne, it is sparingly. I feel that is the best way to use cologne, as it mixes with one’s natural body chemistry and gives a nice, non-offensive light fragrance. (John Varvatos is my fav)

255

As I said in my post, I have no doubt that *some *people are rude enough to say things like that. But the majority of people probably couldn’t care less about the sex life of strangers. I doubt I’d even think about whether or not ‘it’ worked - unless of course I saw someone wearing that kind of t-shirt, in which case I am forced to think about a strangers penis.