Optimum chaos level

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So my landlord drops by, unnanounced, -

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Okay, sorry. Moving right along.

My house is in a complete uproar, because a roommate has just moved back in. It’s complete chaos. But landlord didn’t even blink. Just told me about the rent increase ($6) and gave me a tax receipt, then left.

Which leads me to believe I’ve hit the Optimum Chaos Level. There are two of them. 1) is no or light chaos. A place for everything and everything in its place. (“It could happen!” - Judy Tenuta)

  1. 100% Pure Overwhelming Chaos, the sort of chaos that is so obviously caused by Major Life Upheaval that, combined with a dirty sweater, house pants and a slightly bedraggled expression, lets people know, “I’m not this much of a slob; this is due to circumstances beyond my control.”

What do you think?

2

What if I am, in fact, just that much of a slob? I mean, my chaos factor must be about 115% and I like it that way. I can find anything I want, because it’s all right there on the floor!

3

dirty sweater?

hell, I’m not certain what color the friggin’ CARPET is.

‘chaos’ - matt, my friend, you have NO idea what chaos is…

4

CHAOS=
Can’t Have Anyone Over Season

5

I just spared you the details, that’s all. The dirty sweater is the garnish on top.