Jeeze Louise. Whether ketchup belongs on a dog, the proper amount of gravy on Italian beef, even the goddam ratio of cheese to caramel on popcorn, and now the proper way to cut pizza. Is there anything culinary Chicagans don’t try to stifle other opinions on?
It’s standard to bisect it four times giving you 8 identical sized pieces. Telling them to “cut it one more time” read to me like you want to “cut it one more time” after the standard cut. You did not say, “Cut it five times so I get ten same-sized pieces.”
Fortunately, I don’t have to. I let other people do that for me:
The answer to the conundrum of the o.p. is clearly to purchase five pizzas. There is clearly no other way because of our bizarrely regimented ways of apportioning food.
Stranger
Or throw it on the roof.
Honestly, I’d probably make the same mistake. It does sound like that to me, if we tell you we only serve eight slice pizza, and then you tell me to just make another cut, then I’d probably, well, make another cut after the four standard cuts.
It’s clear what’s wanted in retrospect but, honestly, I’m not sure I could cut a pizza in 10 properly without a good chance of screwing it up with wonky sized pieces.
First you throw a pizza on the roof, next thing you know airliners are crashing out of the sky and retirement homes are exploding. We have standards in civilized society and you do not throw pizza on the roof.
Unless it is deep dish, in which case it would probably crash through the roof.
Stranger
You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
mmm
No–fucking Midwesterners in general and Chicagoans in particular seem to suffer from some endemic small dick paranoia syndrome that makes them incapable of just shutting the fuck up and appreciating different ways of doing things.
“I want you to hold it between your knees!”
Midwesterners in general (yes, I grew up there) seem to have very few standards regarding culinary practices as evidenced by the general embrace of Velveeta as an all-purpose go-to for cheese-like medium of food conveyance. And don’t get me started on their vast array of Jello ‘salads’.
Stranger
But DQ has a copyright on Blizzard, therefore Culvers has Shakes and Concrete Shakes. Ask for a NON-concrete shake.
Moderating:
Chill. This is not the pit. This is just MPSIMS. And that post is a rant.
A pentagram here, a pentagram there, see what happens? Now back to the pizza: did it have any pineapple?
I mean, if we are going to mess around, go to the end.
I get a rootbeer float at Culver’s if I want an ice-creamy drink that I can still use a straw for.
My local Blackjack Pizza defaults to 10 slices for a large. They aren’t always equal in size, but they wouldn’t be if I did it myself either.
How large is this large pizza that is supposed to satisfy 5 people? Because I would normally think at least half a pizza per person. (Those “hot and ready” Little Caesar’s 14 inch pizzas? That’s one serving for me. (With some crust saved for the cats.))
The OP kind of set himself up for this. If you’re purchasing a common service, don’t expect that they’ll do trig problems for you.
If I were that pizza kid, even knowing how to do it, I’d think to myself “fuck this guy” and just do it the way they did it. They don’t pay enough for that.
Are you trying to tell me they don’t keep a protractor next to the pizza slicer?
That’s what they did back in my day when precision wasn’t as important. Now they use a programmable laser cutter.
Only $109 for two bucks worth of wire.
I do. The only way to get something that I consider to be a milkshake (as opposed to jokingly calling it a blizzard) is to ask them to add a little extra milk to it. Sometimes it works, sometimes I end up with a cup of ice cream milk.