My coworkers and I have determined we really must have a margarita machine for our department in order to maintain our cheerful dispositions in the face of demanding users, corporate restructuring, and other detrimental conditions.
The problem of course is that we can’t exactly put ‘margarita machine’ on a PO and expect it to get past the PTBs.
The solution is obvious, come up with a technobabble name for said nectar dispenser that sounds impressive enough to slide through the system with nary a hiccup.
The best we’ve come up with so far is “sub-thermic hydrotherapy appliance”.
Okay, I’ve got one:
Cooling device and TABR distribution system. TABR, of course, stands for Tasty Alcoholic Beverage & Relaxation. Just put ‘network’ somewhere in there and you’re golden!
But if you put ‘network’ in there, people will start thinking of Hyper-Text Coffee-Pot Control Protocol (HTCPCP). The should be some way of indicating that it’s a controller and modifier of ethanol and acidic liquids. Perhaps this might involve the word ‘distributed’.
Put “Frozen Margarita Machine” and when they ask you about it, laugh and say it is really for a Ocilating Transceiver SubMicrotizer and you didn’t think they would let you have that even though it would speed up the network by %15.
I’m liking what I’m seeing here. A nice collection of buzzwords that I’m sure we can come up with a name from.
ethanol centrifuge
Liquid-state biochemical titration automation
We did actually consider slushy machine. Just don’t want other departments asking to borrow it.
TABR distribution system is promising
HTCPCP was good for a LOL. Forwarded that to networking.
Use the word “smoothie” rather than “slushy”, and claim it’s part of the workplace health initiative. You don’t have to elaborate that it’s for your emotional health rather than physical.
