Original Words of Wisdom

What if you meet the king of horses? :smiley:

“Here lies Henry Gray
Died defending his right of way.
His way was right, his will was strong,
But he’s just as dead as if he was wrong.”

Not mine, but an original I heard from Rick Seaward, a Canadian journalist at a staff meeting:

“Rules are to guide the wise and command the foolish”.

Just because the joke’s on me, that doesn’t mean it’s not funny.
I’d rather ask a hundred stupid questions than find out too late that one of them wasn’t.

Never do today what can be put off until tomorrow.

If you wait until the last minute, things get done faster.

If it ain’t broke, don’t break it!

Hassle is always finite.

Fame is a half-eaten cheeseburger on a park bench. It may look appealing, but you have no idea how it got there or what’s been done to it.

The Universe tends towards the perverse. (The underlying principle of Murphy’s Law.)

It’s like the two rules for eating wild mushrooms:

  1. You can eat any wild mushrooms you find.
  2. You can eat some wild mushrooms a second time.

And never put off to tomorrow what you can get out of doing entirely.

Crying won’t stop the pain.

Never be the first on your block to buy anything - let someone else do the beta testing.

Looking for a place to have lunch? Look for cops, they know the neighborhood and know where to find good inexpensive food.

Need insurance? Go to an independent agent - they’ll do your shopping for you and get you the best deal.

A Koan by Me:
“Zen koans aren’t bullshit. Zen koans sound exactly like bullshit.”

My four-step amplification on this:

1, Determine if it really needs to be done at all.
2. Give the workaholics a chance to volunteer
3. Carefully analyze it to find the least-work approach.
4. Get it over with.

My motto is “You’d be amazed at what you can do if you don’t think about doing it.”

My brother’s corollary is “You’d be amazed at what you can get away with doing if you look like you should be doing it.” That thought has saved my ass a few times.

Oh dear. There goes my Wednesday night plans.
From my father:

“Never pass up a chance to pee. You don’t know when the next one will come up.”

Just before I went to the beach with my girlfriend and another couple on an unchaperoned trip right after high school graduation: “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your children to do.”

Just before I went down to Marti Gras for college spring break: “You’re going to be in New Orleans, and there will be a lot of rum drinks. Just remember: rum is for wimps.”

Any fool can tell you what the wise course of action is in any situation. Wisdom consists not in knowing what is wise, but in doing what is wise.

Jimble faloopa splont pendorian da renren hallon drep nardar.
I love loopholes.

There’s a lot to be said for keeping your mouth shut.

I’ve also heard a similar one… told from a different perspective: “You can be right or you can be kind.”

Split the difference-Be “kind of” right.

“At least I’m doing something” is never a complete sentence-it leaves off the finish, which can be “…stupid.”, “…ineffectual.”, “…self-serving.”, “worse.”, “disastrous for all involved.” and(very rarely) “…better.”

My dad’s first rule of troubleshooting was “Do the cheap and easy things first.”

Mine is “It’s always electrical.”