Other Fucking Message Boards that Suck Major Ass!

The BBQ Pit
1

Goddammit!

I’ve been having hard times lately, and must confess that I have strayed in my search for knowledge. But I figure sometimes you need to narrow your focus and consult “experts”.

So, I signed up for a couple of “enthusiast” websites looking for some specific information on the specific topic of the board! Problem is, the goddamn board allows avatars, photos, animation, advertising, cat videos- you name the bandwidth killer, its there! Un-fuckin’-useable! Try to post a thread, takes a half-damn hour for the page to load. Try to read a thread, got to scroll past countless dancing avatars and pictures of goddamn cats and shit that have nothing to do with the topic of the board! Wait for days, no replys. Some fuckin’ experts! :rolleyes:

This other goddamn board I sign up for is so full of self-importent ass-eating nit-pickers you wanna seek them out and throat-kick them! You don’t get advice or help so much as a petty thrashing and lecture as to why your shit ain’t as good or “correct” as Mr. Dickweed’s. Again, chock full o’ unrelated crap, 4-paragraph sigs and goddamn cat pictures!

The typical exchange goes something like this: “Hi Everyone! I just got a Blah Blah and have this specific problem “X”. How do I fix it? Thanks!”

Mr. Dickweed responds thus: “Well, you clearly need to do project “Z” before even thinking about “X”. Looking at the photo you posted, it is clear you have the wrong window trim for that year, and that radiator cap is a joke! Get your shit together. Here are pictures of my Blah Blah. Please try to aspire.”

You please try to Go Fuck Yourself!

And then there is this little manuever: Post shit in the “classified” that you have nothing to do with! Imagine seeing that impossible-to-find part listed and then when you click on it, you get a link to a 3-month old Craigslist ad in a city 2000 miles away! This is 3rd-generation “Don’t Give A Fuck”! Who the fuck do you think you are helping with this shit?

Goddammit! The Internet sucks! Except The Straight Dope. It actually kind of rules here! :smiley:

I just felt like creating this thread while waiting for that other shit site to load a page. :rolleyes:

2

Smartest hippest people on the planet. Did you think Cecil would lie about that?

3

Turn off images.

4

And we have our new slogan.

5

Geez! Typo right there in the thread title. :smack:

6

Huh? And miss the *cat photos? * :eek:

Seriously, how the hell do I do that?

7

Depends on your browser. Just Google turn off images [name of your browser].

8

If they’re running vBulletin, just uncheck the box that says “Show Images” in the Thread Display Options section of the UserCP / Edit Options menu.

Also, on behalf of ass-sucking message boards, up yours. Some of us like nitpicking cat photos. :mad:

9

It’s self-important.
:stuck_out_tongue:

10

Hey, I didn’t even catch the typo in the thread title! And I previewed! :dubious:

11

Are you using dial-up?

I have to use satellite internet (ugh) and even then I can’t remember the last time it took ages to load a webpage due to images and such.

I agree, though, most message boards outside of this one do suck. Something Awful is the best alternative I’ve seen, but the various subforums range from annoyingly unmoderated to way overmoderated.

12

Many are run by egotistical assholes besides; there is one major hobbyist one, with no good second player, that is moderated by a fool who prides himself on being a stomping, roaring asshole.

After more than a year and well over 3,000 posts, the majority of which were useful additions to the community, I made a mild political comment - in the off-topic subforum - that pissed him off so much he banned me for two years.

That was four years ago. Haven’t looked back.

13

Ever been on usenet? It sounds just like that.

14

And we aren’t even all that smart or hip. Societal collapse has a silver lining!

15

Not all of us. Me. You. Couple others.

16

Try reading political comments on a newspaper website.

I weep for humanity. The amount of misinformation and outright lies could power a starship.

17

I was driven to the SDMB after the band devoted board I frequented went dormant due to inactivity from the band in question. That message board was awesome when active and going, but when most of the long timers left until a new album dropped, the board was over run by ass holes and miscreants who literally had nowhere else to go and just wanted everyone else to be as miserable as them. They drove me off for almost 6 months. I looked back one day because I friend send me a PM, and lo and behold A NEW ALBUM IS A COMING! Now the ass holes and miscreants are being outnumbered by the rest of us and it is much better.

18

Thanks a bunch, OP. Now we’ll have a slew of posters in ATMB demanding dancing cat avatars on the Dope. :frowning:

19

Personally, I’m going for the Sea-Dooing Weiner Dog!

20

Another possibility with slow loading web pages is simply to block advertising (if you use Firefox, use the Adblock extension).