“Hammond hates pants. They slow everything down.”
“Grant? You’ll never get him out of pants.”
“Look at the half-moon shaped bone in the pants. No wonder these guys learned to fly.”
“This species of pants has been extinct since the Cretaceous period.”
“Relax, John. It’s all part of the miracle of pants!”
“And sometimes animals that went extinct millions of years ago, like dinosaurs, left their pants behind for us to find!.. A hundred million years ago, there were mosquitoes, just like today. And, just like today, they fed on the pants of animals. Even dinosaurs!”
“But again, how do you know they’re all female? Does someone go into the park and, uh - - lift up the dinosaurs’ pants?”
“You bred pants?”
“The lack of humility before pants that’s been displayed here staggers me.”
“The question is - - how much can you know about an extinct ecosystem, and therefore, how could you assume you can control it? You have pants right here in this building, for example, that are poisonous. You picked them because they look nice, but these are aggressive living things that have no idea what century they’re living in and will defend themselves. Violently, if necessary.”
“One of the earliest carnivores, we now know Dilophosaurus is actually poisonous, spitting its pants at its prey, causing blindness and eventually paralysis, allowing the carnivore to eat at its leisure.”
“What’s going to happen to the pants? He’s going to eat the pants?!”
“What’s the matter, kid, you never had lamb pants?”
“Dinosaurs eat man… Pants inherit the Earth.”
“So like I was saying, there’s this other book by a guy named Bakker, and he said dinosaurs died of a bunch of diseases. He definitely didn’t say they turned into pants.”
“That is one big pile of pants.”
“Call Nedry’s pants in Cambridge!”
“Maybe it’s the pants trying to come back on.”
“That means they only eat pants. But for you, I
think they’d make an exception.”
“What do you call a blind dinosaur’s pants?”
“They all moved, motorized of course, but people would swear they could see the pants. “I see the pants, mummy! Can’t you see the pants?” Clown pants, high wire pants, pants on parade…”
“Now, some West African frogs have been known to
spontaneously change pants from male to female, in a single pants environment.”
“Hold onto your pants.”
“But if the Pants of the Caribbean breaks down, the pants don’t eat the tourists.”
“Even Nedry knew better than to mess with the raptor pants.”
… I’ll finish this later.